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  • Title: Englishmen For My Money (Quarto 1, 1616)
  • Editor: Natalie Aldred

    • ISBN:

    Copyright Digital Renaissance Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: William Haughton
    Editor: Natalie Aldred
    Not Peer Reviewed

    Englishmen For My Money (Quarto 1, 1616)

    Enter Anthony.
    Antho. The day is broke; Mathea and young Ned,
    By this time, are so surely linckt togeather,
    That none in London can forbid the Banes.
    2365 Laurentia she is neere prouided for:
    So that if Haruies pollicie but hold,
    Elce-wheare the Strangers may goe seeke them Wiues:
    But heere they come.
    Enter Pisaro and Browne.
    2370 Pisa. Six a clocke say you; tru st mee, forward dayes:
    Harke you Mowche, hie you to Church,
    Bid M. Bewford be in readine s s e:
    Where goe you, that way?
    Anth. For my Cloake, sir.
    2375 Pisa. Oh tis well: and M. Browne,
    Tru st mee, your earely stirring makes me muse,
    Is it to mee your Bu sine s s e?
    Brown. Euen to your selfe:
    I come (I thinke) to bring you welcome newes,
    2380 Pisa. And welcome newes,
    More welcome makes the bringer:
    Speake, speake, good M. Browne, I long to heare them.
    Brow. Then this it is. Young Haruie late la st night,
    Full weake and sickly came vnto his lodging,
    2385From whence this suddaine mallady proceedes:
    Tis all vncertaine, the Doctors and his Friends
    Affirme his health is vnrecouerable:
    Young Heigham and Ned Walgraue lately left him,
    And I came hither to informe you of it.
    2390 Pisa. Young M. Haruie sicke; now afore God
    The newes bites neere the Bone: for should he die,
    His Liuing morgaged would be redeemed,
    For not these three months doth the Bond beare date:
    Die now, marry God in heauen defend it;
    2395Oh my sweete Lands, loose thee, nay loose my life:
    And which is wor st, I dare not aske mine owne,
    For I take two and twenty in the hundred,
    When the Law giues but ten: But should he liue,
    Hee carele s s e would haue left the debt vnpaide,
    2400Then had the Lands been mine Pisaros owne,
    Mine, mine owne Land, mine owne Po s s e s sion.
    Brow. Nay heare mee out.
    Pisa. You'r out too much already,
    Vnle s s e you giue him life, and mee his Land.
    2405 Brow. Whether tis loue to you, or to your Daughter,
    I know not certaine; but the Gentleman
    Hath made a deed of gift of all his Lands,
    Vnto your beautious Daughter faire Marina.
    Pesa. Ha, say that word againe, say it againe,
    2410A good thing cannot be too often spoken:
    Marina say you, are you sure twas she,
    Or Mary, Margery; or some other Mayde?
    Brow. To none but your Daughter faire Marina;
    And for the gift might be more forcible,
    2415Your neighbour mai ster Moore aduised vs,
    (Who is a witne s s e of young Haruies Will)
    Sicke as hee is, to bring him to your house:
    I know they are not farre, but doe attende,
    That they may know, what welcome they shall haue.
    2420 Pisa. What welcome sir; as welcome as new life
    Giuen to the poore condemned Prisoner:
    Returne (good mai ster Browne) a s s ure their welcome,
    Say it, nay sweare it; for they'r welcome truly:
    For welcome are they to mee which bring Gold.
    2425See downe who knockes; it may be there they are:
    Frisco, call downe my Sonnes, bid the Girles rise:
    Where's Mowche; what, is he gon or no?
    Enter Laurentia in Anthonies attire.
    Oh heare you sirra, bring along with you
    2430Mai ster Balsaro the Spani sh Marchant.
    Laur. Many Balaros I; Ile to my Loue:
    And thankes to Anthony for this escape.
    Pisa. Stay, take vs with you. Harke, they knocke againe,
    Come my soules comfort, thou good newes bringer,
    2435I mu st needes hugge thee euen for pure affection.
    Enter Haruie brought in a Chaire, Moore, Browne,
    Aluaro, Vandalle, Delion, and Frisco.
    Pisa. Lift softly (good my friends) for hurting him.
    Looke chearely sir, you'r welcome to my house.
    2440Harke M. Vandalle, and my other Sonnes,
    Seeme to be sad as grieuing for his sickne s s e,
    But inwardly reioyce. Mai ster Uandalle,
    Signor Aluaro, Mon sieur Delion,
    Bid my Friend welcome, pray bid him welcome:
    2445Take a good heart; I doubt not (by Gods leaue)
    You shall recouer and doe well enough:
    (Yf I should thinke so, I should hange my selfe.)
    Frisco, goe bid Marina come to mee. Exit Frisco.
    You are a Witne s s e sir, of this mans Will:
    2450What thinke you M. Moore, what say you to't?
    Moor. Mai ster Pisaro, follow mine aduice:
    You see the Gentleman cannot escape,
    Then let him straight be wedded to your Daughter;
    So during life time, she shall hold his Land,
    2455When now (beeing nor kith nor kin to him)
    For all the deed of Gift, that he hath seald,
    His younger Brother will inioy the Land.
    Pisa. Marry my Daughter: no birlady.
    Heare you Aluaro, my Friend counsaile mee,
    2460Seeing young M. Haruie is so sicke,
    To marry him incontinent to my Daughter.
    Or else the gift he hath be stowde, is vaine:
    Marry and hee recouer; no my Sonne,
    I will not loose thy loue, for all this Land.
    2465 Alua. Here you padre, do no lose his Lands, his hun-
    dred pont per anno tis wort to hauar; let him haue de ma-
    tre s s e Marina in de mariage, tis but vor me to attendre vne
    day more: if he will no die, I sal giue him su sh a Drincke,
    su sh a Potion sal mak him giue de Bonos noches to all de
    2470world.
    Pisa. Aluaro, here's my Keyes, take all I haue,
    My Money, Plate, Wealth, Iewels, Daughter too:
    Now God be thanked, that I haue a Daughter,
    worthy to be Aluaroes bedfellow:
    2475Oh how I doe admire and prayse thy wit,
    Ile straight about it: Heare you Mai ster Moore.
    Enter Marina and Frisco.
    Frisc. Nay fayth hee's sicke, therefore though hee be
    come, yet he can doe you no good; there's no remedy but
    2480euen to put your selfe into the hands of the Italian, that by
    that time that he hath pa st his grouth, young Haruie will
    be in case to come vpon it with a sise of fre sh force.
    Mari. Is my Loue come, & sicke? I, now thou loue st me,
    How my heart ioyes: Oh God, get I my will,
    2485Ile driue away that Sickne s s e with a ki s s e:
    I need not faine, for I could weepe for ioy.
    Pisa. It shall be so; come hither Daughter.
    Mai ster Haruie, that you may see my loue
    Comes from a single heart vnfaynedly,
    2490See heere my Daughter, her I make thine owne:
    Nay looke not strange, before these Gentlemen,
    I freely yeeld Marina for thy Wife.
    Haru. Stay, stay good sir, forbeare this idle worke,
    My soule, is labouring for a higher place,
    2495Then this vaine tran sitorie world can yeeld:
    What, would you wed your Daughter to a Graue?
    For this is but Deaths modell in mans shape:
    You and Aluaro happie liue togeather:
    Happy were I, to see you liue togeather.
    2500 Pisa. Come sir, I tru st you shall doe well againe:
    Heere, heere, it mu st be so; God giue you ioy,
    And ble s s e you (not a day to liue togeather.)
    Uand. Hort ye broder, will ye let den ander heb your
    Wiue? nempt haer, nempt haer your selue?
    2505 Alua. No, no; tu sh you be de foole, here be dat sal spoyle
    de mariage of hem: you haue deceue me of de fine Wen sh
    signor Haruey, but I sal deceue you of de mu sh Land.
    Haru. Are all things sure Father, is all dispatch'd?
    Pisa. What intre st we haue, we yeeld it you:
    2510Are you now satisfied, or re stes there ought?
    Haru. Nay Father, nothing doth remaine, but thankes:
    Thankes to your selfe fir st, that di stayning mee,
    Yet loude my Lands, and for them gaue a Wife.
    But next, vnto Aluaro let me turne,
    2515To courtious gentle louing kind Aluaro,
    That rather then to see me die for loue,
    For very loue, would loose his beawtious Loue.
    Uand. Ha, ha, ha.
    Deli. Signor Aluaro, giue him de ting quickly sal make
    2520hem dy, autremant you sal lose de fine Wen sh.
    Alua. Oyime che haueß allhora appre s s ata la mano al mio
    core, ô suen curato ate, I che longo sei tu arriuato, ô cieli, ô terra.
    Pisa. Am I awake? or doe deluding Dreames
    Make that seeme true, which mo st my soule did feare?
    2525 Haru. Nay fayth Father, it's very certaine true,
    I am as well as any man on earth:
    Am I sicke sirres? Looke here, is Haruie sicke?
    Pisa. What shall I doe? What shall I say?
    Did not you counsaile mee to wed my Childe?
    2530What Potion? Where's your helpe, your remedy.
    Haru. I hope more happy Starres will reigne to day,
    And don Aluaro haue more company.
    Enter Anthonie.
    Antho. Now Anthony, this cottens as it should,
    2535And euery thing sorts to his wi sh'd effect:
    Haruie ioyes Moll: my Dutchman and the French,
    Thinking all sure, laughs at Aluaros hap;
    But quickly I shall marre that merrie vaine,
    And make your Fortunes equall with your Friends.
    2540 Pisa. Sirra Mowche, what answere brought you backe?
    Will mai ster Balsaro come, as I reque sted?
    Anth. Mai ster Balsaro; I know not who you meane.
    Pisa. Know you not A s s e, did I not send thee for him?
    Did not I bid thee bring him, with the Parson?
    2545What answere made hee, will hee come or no?
    Anth. Sent me for him: why sir, you sent not mee,
    I neither went for him, nor for the Parson:
    I am glad to see your Wor ship is so merrie. Knocke.
    Pisa. Hence you forgetfull dolt:
    2550Looke downe who knockes? Exit Antho.
    Enter Frisco.
    Frisc. Oh Mai ster, hange your selfe: nay neuer stay for
    a Sessions: Mai ster Vandalle confe s s e your selfe, de sire the
    people to pray for you; for your Bride shee is gone: Lau-
    2555 rentia is run away.
    Vanda. Oh de Diabolo, de mal-fortune: is matre s s e
    Laurentia gaen awech?
    Pisa. Fir st tell mee that I am a liuele s s e coarse;
    Tell mee of Doomes-day, tell mee what you will,
    2560Before you say Laurentia is gone.
    Mari. Mai ster Vandalle, how doe you feele your selfe?
    What, hang the head? fie man for shame I say,
    Looke not so heauie on your marriage day.
    Haru. Oh blame him not, his griefe is quickly spide,
    2565That is a Bridegroome, and yet wants his Bride.
    Enter Heigham, Laurentia, Balsaro, & Anthony.
    Bals . Mai ster Pisaro, and Gentlemen, good day to all:
    According sir, as you reque sted mee,
    This morne I made repaire vnto the Tower,
    2570Where as Laurentia now was married:
    And sir, I did expect your comming thither;
    Yet in your absence, wee perform'd the rites:
    Therefore I pray sir, bid God giue them ioy.
    Heigh. He tels you true, Laurentia is my Wife;
    2575Who knowing that her Si sters mu st be wed;
    Presuming also, that you'le bid her welcome,
    Are come to beare them company to Church.
    Haru. You come too late, the Mariage rites are done:
    Yet welcome twenty-fold vnto the Fea st.
    2580How say you sirs, did not I tell you true,
    These Wenches would haue vs, and none of you.
    Laur. I cannot say for these; but on my life,
    This loues a Cu shion better then a Wife.
    Moll. And reason too, that Cu shion fell out right,
    2585Else hard had been his lodging all la st night.
    Bals . Mai ster Pisaro, why stand you speachle s s e thus?
    Pisa. Anger, and extreame griefe enforceth mee.
    Pray sir, who bade you meete me at the Tower?
    Bals . Who sir; your man sir, Mowche; here he is.
    2590 Anth. Who I sir, meane you mee? you are a ie sting man.
    Pisa. Thou art a Villaine, a di s s embling Wretch,
    Worser then Anthony whom I kept la st:
    Fetch me an Officer, Ile hamper you,
    And make you sing at Bride-well for this tricke:
    2595For well he hath deserude it, that would sweare
    He went not foorth a dores at my appoyntment.
    Anth. So sweare I still, I went not foorth to day.
    Bals . Why arrant lyer, wert thou not with mee?
    Pisa. How say you mai ster Browne, went he not foorth?
    2600 Brow. Hee, or his likene s s e did, I know not whether.
    Pisa. What likene s s e can there be besides himselfe?
    Laur. My selfe (forsooth) that tooke his shape vpon me,
    I was that Mowche that you sent from home:
    And that same Mowche that deceiued you,
    2605Effected to po s s e s s e this Gentleman:
    Which to attaine, I thus be guil'd you all.
    Frisc. This is excellent, this is as fine as a Fiddle: you
    M. Heigham got the Wench in Mowches apparell; now let
    Mowche put on her apparell, and be married to the Dutch-
    2610 man: How thinke you, is it not a good vize?
    Moor. Mai ster Pisaro, shake off melancholy,
    When thinges are helple s s e, patience mu st be vs'd.
    Pisa. Talke of Patience? Ile not beare these wronges:
    Goe call downe Matt, and mi stris Susan Moore,
    2615Tis well that of all three, wee haue one sure.
    Moor. Mi stris Susan Moore, who doe you meane sir?
    Pisa. Whom should I meane sir, but your Daughter?
    Moor. You'r very pleasant sir: but tell me this,
    When did you see her, that you speake of her?
    2620 Pisa. I, late ye ster-night, when she came heere to bed.
    Moor. You are deceiu'd, my Daughter lay not heere,
    But watch'd with her sicke mother all la st night.
    Pisa. I am glad you are so pleasant M. Moore,
    You'r loth that Susan should be held a sluggard:
    2625What man, t'was late before she went to bed,
    And therefore time enough to rise againe.
    Moor. Mai ster Pisaro, doe you floute your friends;
    I well perceiue if I had troubled you,
    I should haue had it in my di sh ere now:
    2630 Susan lie heere? 'am sure when I came foorth,
    I left her fa st asleepe in bed at home;
    Tis more then neighbour-hood to vse me thus.
    Pisa. Abed at your house? tell me I am madd,
    Did not I let her in adores my selfe,
    2635Spoke to her, talk'd with her, and canua st with her;
    And yet she lay not heere? What say you sirra?
    Antho. She did, she did; I brought her to her Chamber.
    Moor I say he lyes (that sayth so) in his throat.
    Antho. Ma s s e now I remember me, I lye indeed.
    2640 Pisa. Oh how this frets mee: Frisco, what say you?
    Frisc. What say I? Marry I say, if shee lay not heere,
    there was a familiar in her likene s s e; for I am sure my Mai-
    ster and she were so familiar togeather, that he had almo st
    shot the Gout out of his Toes endes, to make the Wench
    2645beleeue he had one tricke of youth in him. Yet now I re-
    member mee shee did not lye heere; and the reason is, be-
    cause shee doth lye heere, and is now abed with mi stris
    Mathea; witne s s e whereof, I haue set to my Hand & Seale,
    and meane presently to fetch her. Exit Frisco.
    2650 Pisa. Doe so Frisco. Gentlemen, and Friends,
    Now shall you see how I am wrong'd by him.
    Lay shee not heere? I thinke the world's growne wise,
    Plaine folkes (as I) shall not know how to liue.
    Enter Frisco.
    2655 Frisc. Shee comes, shee comes: a Hall, a Hall.
    Enter Mathea and Walgraue in Womans attire.
    Walg. Nay blu sh not wench, feare not, looke chearfully.
    Good morrow, Father; Good morrow Gentlemen:
    Nay stare not, looke you heere, no mon ster I,
    2660But euen plaine Ned: and heere stands Matt my Wife.
    Know you her Frenchman? But she knows me better.
    Father, pray Father, let mee haue your blessing,
    For I haue ble st you with a goodly Sonne;
    Tis breeding heere yfayth, a iolly Boy.
    2665 Pisa. I am vndone, a reprobate, a slaue;
    A scorne, a laughter, and a ie sting stocke:
    Giue mee my Child, giue mee my Daughter from you.
    Moor. Mai ster Pisaro, tis in vaine to fret,
    And fume, and storme, it little now auayles:
    2670These Gentlemen haue with your Daughters helpe,
    Out stript you in your subtile enterprises:
    And therefore, seeing they are well descended,
    Turne hate to loue, and let them haue their Loues,
    Pisa. Is it euen so; why then I see that still,
    2675Doe what we can, Women will haue their Will.
    Gentlemen, you haue outreacht mee now,
    Which nere before you, any yet could doe:
    You, that I thought should be my Sonnes indeed,
    Mu st be content, since there's no hope to speed:
    2680Others haue got, what you did thinke to gaine;
    And yet beleeue mee, they haue tooke some paine.
    Well, take them, there; and with them, God giue ioy.
    And Gentlemen, I doe intreat to morrow,
    That you will Fea ste with mee, for all this sorrow:
    2685Though you are wedded, yet the Fea st's not made:
    Come let vs in, for all the stormes are pa st,
    And heapes of ioy will follow on as fa st.
    FINIS.
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