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  • Title: Englishmen For My Money (Quarto 1, 1616)
  • Editor: Natalie Aldred

    • ISBN:

    Copyright Digital Renaissance Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: William Haughton
    Editor: Natalie Aldred
    Not Peer Reviewed

    Englishmen For My Money (Quarto 1, 1616)

    Enter Aluaro.
    1600 Alua. I goe and turne, and dan I come to dis pla she, I
    can no tell waer, and sall doe I can no tell watt, turne by
    the Pumpe; I pumpe it faire.
    Enter Delion.
    Alua. Me alle, ende all & can no come to Croche-friers.
    1605 Enter Frisco.
    Frisc. Oh miserable Blacke-pudding, if I can tell which
    is the way to my Mai sters house, I am a Red-herring, and
    no hone st Gentleman.
    Alua. Who parlato daer?
    1610 Delio. Who be dar? who alle der?
    Frisc. How's this? For my life here are the Strangers.
    Oh that I had the Dutchmans Hose, that I might creepe
    into the Pockets; they'le all three fall vpon me & beat me.
    Alua. Who doe der ander?
    1615 Delio. Amis?
    Frisc. Oh braue, it's no body but M. Pharoo and the
    Frenchman going to our House, on my life: well, Ile haue
    some sport with them, if the Watch hinder me not.
    Who goes there?
    1620 Delio. Who parle der, in wat pla she, in wat streat be you?
    Frisc. Why sir, I can tell where I am; I am in Tower-
    streete: Where a Diuell be you?
    Delio. Io be here in Lede-hall.
    Frisc. In Leaden-hall? I trow I shall meete with you a-
    1625none: in Leaden-hall. What a simple A s s e is this Frenchman.
    Some more of this: Where are you sir?
    Alua. Moy I be here in Van she- streete.
    Frisc. This is excellent ynfayth, as fit as a Fiddle: I in
    Tower- streete, you in Leaden-hall, and the third in Fanchurch-
    1630 streete; and yet all three heare one another, and all three
    speake togeather: either wee mu st be all three in Leaden-
    hall, or all three in Tower- streete, or all three in Fanchurch-
    streete; or all three Fooles.
    Alua. Mon sieur Gentle-home, can you well te sh de
    1635wey to Cro she-frier?
    Frisc. How to Croched-friers? I, I sir, passing well if
    you will follow mee.
    Delio. I dat me sal mon sier Gentle-home, and giue you (tanks.
    Frisc. And mon siur Pharo, I shall lead you such a iaunt,
    1640that you shall scarce giue me thankes for. Come sirrs
    follow mee: now for a durtie Puddle, the pissing Conduit,
    or a great Po st, that might turne these two from A s s es to
    Oxen by knocking their Hornes to their Fore-heads.
    Alua. Whaer be de now signor?
    1645 Frisc. Euen where you will signor, for I know not:
    Soft I smell: Oh pure Nose.
    Delio. Wat do you smell?
    FrisC. I haue the scent of London- stone as full in my nose,
    as Abchurch-lane of mother Walles Pa sties: Sirrs feele a-
    1650bout, I smell London- stone.
    Alua. Wat be dis?
    Frisc. Soft let me see; feele I should say, for I cannot see:
    Oh lads pray for my life, for we are almo st at Croched-friers.
    Delio. Dats good: but watt be dis Po st?
    1655 Frisc. This Po st; why tis the May-pole on Iuie-bridge
    going to We stmin ster.
    Delio. Ho We stmi ster, how come we tol We stmi stere?
    Frisc. Why on your Legges fooles, how should you
    goe? Soft, heere's an other: Oh now I know in deede
    1660where I am; wee are now at the farde st end of Shoredich,
    for this is the May-pole.
    Delo. Sordiche; O dio, dere be some nautie tinge, some
    Spirite do leade vs.
    Frisc. You say true sir, for I am afeard your French spirit
    1665is vp so far alredy, that you brought me this way, because
    you would finde a Charme for it at the Blew Bore in the
    Spittle: But soft, who comes heere?
    Enter a Belman.
    Bel. Maydes in your Smocks, looke wel to your Locks,
    1670Your Fier and your Light; and God giue you good night.
    Delia. Mon sieur Gentle-home, I prey parle one, too,
    tree, fore, words vore vs to dis oull man.
    Frisc. Yes marry shall I sir. I pray hone st Fellow, in
    what Streete be wee?
    1675 Bel. Ho Frisco, whither friske you at this time of night?
    Delio. What, Mon sieur Frisco?
    Alua. Signor Frisco?
    Frisc. The same, the same: Harke yee hone sty, mee
    thinkes you might doe well to haue an M. vnder your
    1680Girdle, con sidering how Signor Pisaro, and this other
    Mon sieur doe hold of mee.
    Bell. Oh sir, I cry you mercie; pardon this fault, and Ile
    doe as much for you the next time.
    Frisc. Well, passing ouer superfluicall talke, I pray what
    1685Street is this; for it is so darke, I know not where I am?
    Bell. Why art thou druncke, Do st thou not know
    Fanchurch- streete?
    Frisc. I sir, a good Fellow may sometimes be ouerseene
    among Friends; I was drinking with my Mai ster and
    1690these Gentlemen, and therefore no maruaile though I be
    none of the wise st at this present: But I pray thee Good-
    man Buttericke, bring mee to my Mai sters House.
    Bel. Why I will, I will, pu sh that you are so strange now
    adayes: but it is an old said saw, Honors change Manners.
    1695 Frisc. Good-man Buttericke will you walke afore:
    Come hone st Friends, will yee goe to our House?
    Delio. Ouy mon sieur Frisco .
    Alua. Si signor Frisco.
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