Digital Renaissance Editions

About this text

  • Title: The Honest Whore, Part 2 (Quarto 1, 1630)
  • Editor: Joost Daalder
  • ISBN: 978-1-55058-490-5

    Copyright Digital Renaissance Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: Thomas Dekker
    Editor: Joost Daalder
    Not Peer Reviewed

    The Honest Whore, Part 2 (Quarto 1, 1630)

    Enter at one doore Lodouico and Carolo; at another Bots,
    and Mistris Horsleach; Candido and his wife
    appeare in the Shop.
    1475Lod. Hist, hist, Lieutenant Bots, how do'st, man?
    Car. Whither are you ambling, Madam Horsleach?
    F 2 Hors.
    The Honest Whore.
    Hors. About worldly profit, sir: how doe your Worships?
    Bots. We want tooles, Gentlemen, to furnish the trade:
    they weare out day and night, they weare out till no mettle
    1480bee left in their backe; wee heare of two or three new
    Wenches are come vp with a Carrier, and your old
    Goshawke here is flying at them.
    Lod. And faith, what flesh haue you at home?
    Hors. Ordinary Dishes, by my troth, sweet men, there's
    1485few good i'th Cittie; I am as well furnisht as any, and tho
    I say it, as well custom'd.
    Bots. We haue meates of all sorts of dressing; we haue
    stew'd meat for your Frenchmen, pretty light picking meat
    for your Italian, and that which is rotten roasted, for Don 1490Spaniardo.
    Lod. A pox on't.
    Bots. We haue Poulterers ware for your sweet bloods, as
    Doue, Chickin, Ducke, Teale, Woodcocke, and so forth: and
    Butchers meat for the Cittizen: yet Muttons fall very bad
    1495this yeere.
    Lod. Stay, is not that my patient Linnen Draper yonder,
    and my fine yong smug Mistris, his wife?
    Car. Sirra Grannam, Ile giue thee for thy fee twenty
    crownes, if thou canst but procure me the wearing of yon
    1500veluet cap.
    Hos. You'd weare another thing besides the cap. Y'are
    a Wag.
    Bots. Twenty crownes? we'li share, and Ile be your pully
    to draw her on.
    1505Lod. Doo't presently; we'll ha some sport.
    Hors. Wheele you about, sweet men: doe you see, Ile chea-
    pen wares of the man, whilest Bots is doing with his wife.
    Lod. Too't: if we come into the shop to doe you grace,
    wee'll call you Madam.
    1510Bots. Pox a your old face, giue it the badge of all scuruy
    faces, a Masque.
    Cand. What is't you lacke, Gentlewoman? Cambricke or
    Lawnes, or fine Hollands? Pray draw neere, I can sell you a
    The Honest Whore.
    1515Bots. Some Cambricke for my old Lady.
    Cand. Cambricke? you shall, the purest thred in Millan.
    Lod. and Car. Saue you, Signior Candido.
    Lod. How does my Noble Master? how my faire Mistris?
    Cand. My Worshipfull good Seruant, view it well, for 'tis
    1520both fine and euen.
    Car. Cry you mercy, Madam, tho mask'd, I thought it
    should be you by your man. Pray Signior, shew her the best,
    for she commonly deales for good ware.
    Cand. Then this shall fit her, this is for your Ladiship.
    1525Bots. A word, I pray, there is a waiting Gentlewomon of
    my Ladies: her name is Ruyna, saies she's your Kinswoman,
    and that you should be one of her Aunts.
    Wife. One of her Aunts? troth sir, I know her not.
    Bots. If it please you to bestow the poore labour of your
    1530legs at any time, I will be your conuoy thither?
    Wife. I am a Snaile, sir, seldome leaue my house, if't please
    her to visit me, she shall be welcome.
    Bots. Doe you heare? the naked troth is: my Lady hath
    a yong Knight, her sonne, who loues you, y'are made, if you
    1535lay hold vpont: this Iewell he sends you.
    Wife. Sir, I returne his loue and Iewell with scorne; let
    goe my hand, or I shall call my husband. You are an arrant
    Knaue. Exit.
    Lod. What, will she doe?
    1540Bots. Doe? they shall all doe if Bots sets vpon them once,
    she was as if she had profest the trade, squeamish at first, at
    last I shewed her this Iewell, said, a Kuight sent it her.
    Lod. Is't gold, and right stones?
    Bots. Copper, Copper, I goe a fishing with these baites.
    1545Lod. She nibbled, but wud not swallow the hooke, because
    the Cunger-head her husband was by: but shee bids the
    Gentleman name any afternoone, and she'll meet him at her
    Garden house, which I know.
    Lod. Is this no lie now?
    1550Bots. Dam me if---
    Lod. Oh prethee stay there.
    F 3 Bots.
    The Honest Whore.
    Bots. The twenty crownes, sir.
    Lod. Before he has his worke done? but on my Knightly
    word, he shall pay't thee.
    1555Enter Astolpho, Beraldo, Fontinell, and the Irish Footman.
    Asto. I thought thou hadst beene gone into thine owne
    Bry. No faat la, I cannot goe dis foure or tree dayes.
    Ber. Looke thee, yonders the shop, and that's the man
    Fon. Thou shalt but cheapen, and doe as we told thee, to
    put a iest vpon him, to abuse his patience.
    Bry. I faat, I doubt my pate shall be knocked: but sa crees
    sa me, for your shakes, I will runne to any Linnen Draper in
    1565hell, come preddy.
    Omnes. Saue you Gallants.
    Lod. and Car. Oh, well met!
    Cand. You'll giue no more you say? I cannot take it.
    Hors. Truly Ile giue no more.
    1570Cand. It must not fetch it. What wud you haue, sweet
    Asto. Nay, here's the Customer. Exeunt Bots & Horsl.
    Lod. The Garden-house you say? wee'll boult out your
    1575Cand. I will but lay these parcels by-- My men are all
    at Custome-house vnloding Wares, if Cambricke you wud
    deale in, there's the best, all Millan cannot sample it.
    Lod. Doe you heare? 1. 2. 3. S'foot, there came in 4.
    Gallants, sure your wife is slipt vp, and the 4th. man I hold
    1580my life, is grafting your Warden tree.
    Cand. Ha, ha, ha: you Gentlemen are full of Iest.
    If she be vp, she's gone some wares to show,
    I haue aboue as good wares as below.
    Lod. Haue you so? nay then----
    1585Cand. Now Gentlemen, is't Cambricks?
    Bry. I predee now let me haue de best wares.
    The Honest Whore.
    Cand. What's that he saies, pray Gentlemen?
    Lod. Mary he saies we are like to haue the best wares.
    Cand. The best wares? all are bad, yet wares doe good,
    1590And like to Surgeons, let sicke Kingdomes blood.
    Bry. Faat a Deuill pratest tow so, a pox on dee, I preddee
    let me see some Hollen, to make Linnen shirts, for feare my
    body be lowsie.
    Cand. Indeed I vnderstand no word he speakes.
    1595Car. Mary, he saies, that at the siege in Holland there was
    much bawdry vsed among the Souldiers, tho they were
    Cand. It may be so, that's likely, true indeed,
    In euery garden, sir, does grow that weed.
    1600Bry. Pox on de gardens, and de weedes, and de fooles
    cap dere, and de cloutes; heare? doest make a Hobby-horse
    of me.
    Omnes. Oh fie, he has torne de Cambricke.
    Cand. 'Tis no matter.
    1605Asto. It frets me to the soule.
    Cand. So doest not me.
    My Customers doe oft for remnants call,
    These are two remnants now, no losse at all.
    But let me tell you, were my Seruants here,
    1610It would ha cost more.-- Thanke you Gentlemen,
    I vse you well, pray know my shop agen. Exit.
    Omnes. Ha, ha, ha; come, come, let's goe, let's goe. Exeunt.