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About this text

  • Title: The Honest Whore, Part 2 (Modern)
  • Editor: Joost Daalder
  • ISBN: 978-1-55058-490-5

    Copyright Digital Renaissance Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: Thomas Dekker
    Editor: Joost Daalder
    Peer Reviewed

    The Honest Whore, Part 2 (Modern)

    601.1[2.1]
    Enter Bellafront and Mattheo.
    Bellafront
    O my sweet husband, wert thou in thy grave
    And art alive again? O, welcome, welcome!
    605Mattheo
    Dost know me? [Giving her his cloak] My cloak, prithee, lay始t up. Yes, faith, my winding-sheet was taken out of lavender, to be stuck with rosemary. I lacked but the knot here or here. Yet if I had had it, I should ha始 made a wry mouth at the world like a plaice. But, sweetest villain, I am here now, and 610I will talk with thee soon.
    Bellafront
    And glad am I thou始rt here.
    Mattheo
    Did these heels caper in shackles? Ah, my little plump rogue, I始ll bear up for all this, and fly high. Catso, catso!
    615Bellafront
    Mattheo –
    Mattheo
    What sayst, what sayst? O brave fresh air! A pox on these grates, and jingling of keys, and rattling of iron. I始ll bear up, I始ll fly high, wench. Hang? Toss!
    Bellafront
    Mattheo, prithee make thy prison thy glass,
    620And in it view the wrinkles and the scars
    By which thou wert disfigured. Viewing them, mend them.
    Mattheo
    I始ll go visit all the mad rogues now, and the good roaring boys.
    Bellafront
    Thou dost not hear me?
    625Mattheo
    Yes, faith, do I.
    Bellafront
    Thou hast been in the hands of misery,
    And ta始en strong physic. Prithee, now be sound.
    Mattheo
    Yes. 始Sfoot, I wonder how the inside of a tavern looks now. O, when shall I bezzle, bezzle?
    630Bellafront
    Nay, see, thou始rt thirsty still for poison! Come,
    I will not have thee swagger.
    Mattheo
    Honest ape始s face!
    Bellafront
    始Tis that sharpened an axe to cut thy throat.
    Good love, I would not have thee sell thy substance
    635And time, worth all, in those damned shops of hell,
    Those dicing-houses, that stand never well
    But when they stand most ill; that four-squared sin
    Has almost lodged us in the beggar始s inn.
    Besides – to speak which even my soul does grieve –
    640A sort of ravens have hung upon thy sleeve
    And fed upon thee. Good Mat, if you please,
    Scorn to spread wing amongst so base as these;
    By them thy fame is speckled, yet it shows
    Clear amongst them. So crows are fair with crows.
    645Custom in sin gives sin a lovely dye;
    Blackness in Moors is no deformity.
    Mattheo
    Bellafront, Bellafront, I protest to thee, I swear, as I hope for my soul, I will turn over a new leaf. The prison, I confess, has bit me; the best man that sails in such a ship 650may be lousy.
    [Knocking within.]
    Bellafront
    One knocks at door.
    Mattheo
    I始ll be the porter. They shall see a jail cannot hold a brave spirit – I始ll fly high!
    Exit.
    Bellafront
    How wild is his behaviour! O, I fear
    655He始s spoiled by prison; he始s half damned comes there.
    But I must sit all storms. When a full sail
    His fortunes spread, he loved me; being now poor,
    I始ll beg for him. And no wife can do more.
    Enter Matteo, and Orlando like a Servingman.
    660Mattheo
    Come in, pray. Would you speak with me, sir?
    Orlando
    Is your name Signor Mattheo?
    Mattheo
    My name is Signor Mattheo.
    Orlando
    Is this gentlewoman your wife, sir?
    Mattheo
    This gentlewoman is my wife, sir.
    665Orlando
    The destinies spin a strong and even thread of both your loves! [Aside] The mother始s own face; I ha始 not forgot that. [He weeps.] I始m an old man, sir, and am troubled with a whoreson salt rheum, that I cannot hold my water. – Gentlewoman, the last man I served was your father.
    670Bellafront
    My father? Any tongue that sounds his name
    Speaks music to me. Welcome, good old man.
    How does my father? Lives he? Has he health?
    How does my father? I so much do shame him,
    So much do wound him, that I scarce dare name him.
    675Orlando
    [Weeping.] I can speak no more.
    Mattheo
    How now, old lad? What, dost cry?
    Orlando
    The rheum still, sir, nothing else. I should be well seasoned, for mine eyes lie in brine. Look you, sir, I have a suit to you.
    680Mattheo
    What is始t, my little white pate?
    Orlando
    Troth, sir, I have a mind to serve your worship.
    Mattheo
    To serve me? Troth, my friend, my fortunes are, as a man may say –
    Orlando
    Nay, look you, sir. I know when all sins are old 685in us, and go upon crutches, that covetousness does but then lie in her cradle. 始Tis not so with me. Lechery loves to dwell in the fairest lodging, and covetousness in the oldest buildings, that are ready to fall; but my white head, sir, is no inn for such a gossip. If a servingman at my years 690be not stored with with biscuit enough, that has sailed about the world, to serve him the voyage out of his life, and to bring him east home, ill pity but all his days should be fasting days. I care not so much for wages, for I have scraped a handful of gold together. I have a little money, sir, which 695I would put into your worship始s hands, not so much to make it more –
    Mattheo
    No, no, you say well, thou sayst well. But I must tell you – how much is the money, sayst thou?
    Orlando
    About twenty pound, sir.
    700Mattheo
    Twenty pound? Let me see; that shall bring thee in, after ten per centum per annum
    Orlando
    No, no, no, sir, no; I cannot abide to have money engender. Fie upon this silver lechery, fie! If I may have meat to my mouth, and rags to my back, and a flock-bed 705to snort upon, when I die the longer liver take all.
    Mattheo
    A good old boy, i始faith! If thou serv始st me, thou shalt eat as I eat, drink as I drink, lie as I lie, and ride as I ride.
    Orlando
    [Aside] That始s if you have money to hire horses.
    Mattheo
    Front, what dost thou think on始t? This good old 710lad here shall serve me.
    Bellafront
    Alas, Mattheo, wilt thou load a back
    That is already broke?
    Mattheo
    [Aside to her] Peace, pox on you, peace! There始s a trick in始t. I fly high. It shall be so, Front, as I tell you. [Aloud to Orlando] Give me thy hand; 715thou shalt serve me, i始faith. Welcome. As for your money –
    Orlando
    Nay, look you, sir, I have it here.
    Mattheo
    Pish, keep it thyself, man, and then thou始rt sure 始tis safe.
    Orlando
    Safe? An 始twere ten thousand ducats your worship 720should be my cash-keeper. I have heard what your worship is – [Aside] An excellent dunghill cock, to scatter all abroad! – But I始ll venture twenty pounds on始s head.
    [Gives him the money.]
    Mattheo
    And didst thou serve my worshipful father-in-law, Signor Orlando Frescobaldo, that madman, once?
    725Orlando
    I served him so long till he turned me out of doors.
    Mattheo
    It始s a notable chuff; I ha始 not seen him many a day.
    Orlando
    No matter an you ne始er see him; it始s an arrant grandee, a churl, and as damned a cut-throat –
    Bellafront
    Thou villain, curb thy tongue! Thou art a Judas,
    730To sell thy master始s name to slander thus.
    Mattheo
    [To her] Away, ass! He speaks but truth. Thy father is a –
    Bellafront
    Gentleman.
    Mattheo
    And an old knave. There始s more deceit in him than in sixteen 始pothecaries. It始s a devil! Thou mayst beg, starve, 735hang, damn – does he send thee so much as a cheese?
    Orlando
    Or so much as a gammon of bacon? He始ll give it his dogs first.
    Mattheo
    A javel, a javel.
    Orlando
    A Jew, a Jew, sir.
    740Mattheo
    A dog.
    Orlando
    An English mastiff, sir.
    Mattheo
    Pox rot out his old stinking garbage!
    Bellafront
    [To him] Art not ashamed to strike an absent man thus?
    Art not ashamed to let this vild dog bark,
    745And bite my father thus? I始ll not endure it.
    [To Orland] Out of my doors, base slave!
    Mattheo
    Your doors? A vengeance! I shall live to cut that old rogue始s throat, for all you take his part thus.
    Orlando
    [Aside] He shall live to see thee hanged first.
    750Enter Hippolito.
    Mattheo
    Godso, my lord, your lordship is most welcome.
    I始m proud of this, my lord.
    Hippolito
    Was bold to see you.
    Is that your wife?
    755Mattheo
    Yes, sir.
    Hippolito
    I始ll borrow her lip.
    Mattheo
    With all my heart, my lord.
    [Hippolito kisses Bellafront and takes her aside.]
    Orlando
    Who始s this, I pray, sir?
    Mattheo
    My lord Hippolito. What始s thy name?
    760Orlando
    Pacheco.
    Mattheo
    Pacheco? Fine name! Thou seest, Pacheco, I keep company with no scoundrels, nor base fellows.
    Hippolito
    [Aside to Bellafront] Came not my footman to you?
    Bellafront
    Yes, my Lord.
    765Hippolito
    I sent by him a diamond and a letter;
    Did you receive them?
    Bellafront
    Yes my lord, I did.
    Hippolito
    Read you the letter?
    Bellafront
    O始er and o始er 始tis read.
    770Hippolito
    And, faith, your answer?
    Bellafront
    Now the time始s not fit;
    You see my husband始s here.
    Hippolito
    I始ll now then leave you,
    And choose mine hour. But ere I part away,
    775Hark you, remember I must have no nay.
    [Aloud] Mattheo, I will leave you.
    Mattheo
    A glass of wine?
    Hippolito
    Not now, I始ll visit you at other times.
    You始re come off well, then?
    780Mattheo
    Excellent well, I thank your lordship. I owe you my life, my lord, and will pay my best blood in any service of yours.
    Hippolito
    I始ll take no such dear payment. Hark you, Mattheo, I know the prison is a gulf. If money run low with you, 785my purse is yours; call for it.
    Mattheo
    Faith, my lord, I thank my stars they send me down some. I cannot sink so long as these bladders hold.
    Hippolito
    I will not see your fortunes ebb. Pray try;
    To starve in full barns were fond modesty.
    790Mattheo
    [To Orlando] Open the door, sirrah.
    Hippolito
    [Aside to Orlando at the door] Drink this [Giving him money]; and anon I pray thee give thy mistress this [Giving him a purse].
    Exit.
    Orlando
    [Aside] O noble spirit! If no worse guests here dwell,
    My blue coat sits on my old shoulders well.
    795Mattheo
    The only royal fellow! He始s bounteous as the Indies. What始s that he said to thee, Bellafront?
    Bellafront
    Nothing.
    Mattheo
    I prithee, good girl –
    Bellafront
    Why, I tell you – nothing.
    800Mattheo
    Nothing? It始s well. Tricks! That I must be beholden to a scald, hot-livered, goatish gallant to stand with my cap in my hand, and vail bonnet, when I ha始 spread as lofty sails as himself! Would I had been hanged. Nothing? – Pacheco, brush my cloak.
    805Orlando
    Where is始t, sir?
    Mattheo
    Come, we始ll fly high.
    [To Bellafront] Nothing? There is a whore still in thine eye.
    Exit.
    Orlando
    [Aside] My twenty pounds fly high! O wretched woman,
    This varlet始s able to make Lucrece common.
    810[Aloud] How now, mistress? Has my master dyed you into this sad colour?
    Bellafront
    Fellow, begone, I pray thee. If thy tongue
    Itch after talk so much, seek out thy master;
    Thou始rt a fit instrument for him.
    815Orlando
    Zounds, I hope he will not play upon me.
    Bellafront
    Play on thee? No, you two will fly together,
    Because you are roving arrows of one feather.
    Would thou wouldst leave my house! Thou ne始er shalt please me;
    Weave thy nets ne始er so high,
    820Thou shalt be but a spider in mine eye.
    Thou始rt rank with poison. Poison tempered well
    Is food for health; but thy black tongue doth swell
    With venom, to hurt him that gave thee bread.
    To wrong men absent is to spurn the dead;
    825And so didst thou thy master and my father.
    Orlando
    You have small reason to take his part, for I have heard him say five hundred times you were as arrant a whore as ever stiffened tiffany neckcloths in water-starch upon a Saturday i始th始 afternoon.
    830Bellafront
    Let him say worse! When, for the earth始s offence,
    Hot vengeance through the marble clouds is driven,
    Is始t fit earth shoot again those darts at heaven?
    Orlando
    And so, if your father call you whore, you始ll not call him old knave. [Aside] Frescobaldo, she carries thy mind up and 835down; she始s thine own flesh, blood, and bone. [Aloud] Troth, mistress, to tell you true, the fireworks that ran from me upon lines against my good old master, your father, were but to try how my young master, your husband, loved such squibs. But it始s well known I love your father as myself. I始ll ride 840for him at midnight, run for you by owl-light; I始ll die for him, drudge for you; I始ll fly low, and I始ll fly high (as my master says), to do you good, if you始ll forgive me.
    Bellafront
    I am not made of marble; I forgive thee.
    Orlando
    Nay, if you were made of marble, a good 845stone-cutter might cut you. I hope the twenty pound I delivered to my master is in a sure hand.
    Bellafront
    In a sure hand, I warrant thee, for spending.
    Orlando
    I see my young master is a madcap and a bonus socius. I love him well, mistress. Yet, as well as I love him, I始ll not 850play the knave with you. Look you, I could cheat you of this purse full of money; but I am an old lad, and I scorn to cony-catch. Yet I ha始 been dog at a cony in my time.
    [He gives her the purse.]
    Bellafront
    A purse! Where hadst it?
    Orlando
    The gentleman that went away whispered in mine 855ear and charged me to give it you.
    Bellafront
    The lord Hippolito?
    Orlando
    Yes, if he be a lord; he gave it me.
    Bellafront
    始Tis all gold.
    Orlando
    始Tis like so. It may be he thinks you want money, 860and therefore bestows his alms bravely, like a lord.
    Bellafront
    He thinks a silver net can catch the poor;
    Here始s bait to choke a nun and turn her whore.
    Wilt thou be honest to me?
    Orlando
    As your nails to your fingers, which I think 865never deceived you.
    Bellafront
    Thou to this lord shalt go. Commend me to him,
    And tell him this: the town has held out long
    Because within 始twas rather true than strong.
    To sell it now were base; say 始tis no hold
    870Built of weak stuff, to be blown up with gold.
    He shall believe thee by this token, or this;
    If not, by this.
    [She gives him Hippolito始s purse, diamond ring, and letter.]
    Orlando
    Is this all?
    Bellafront
    This is all.
    Orlando
    [Aside] Mine own girl still!
    875Bellafront
    A star may shoot, not fall.
    Exit Bellafront.
    Orlando
    A star? Nay, thou art more than the moon, for thou hast neither changing quarters nor a man standing in thy circle with a bush of thorns. Is始t possible the lord Hippolito, whose face is as civil as the outside of a 880dedicatory book, should be a mutton-monger? A poor man has but one ewe, and this grandee sheep-biter leaves whole flocks of fat wethers whom he may knock down, to devour this! I始ll trust neither lord nor butcher with quick flesh for this trick. The cuckoo, I see now, sings all 885the year, though every man cannot hear him. But I始ll spoil his notes. Can neither love-letters nor the devil始s common picklocks, gold nor precious stones, make my girl draw up her portcullis? Hold out still, wench!
    All are not bawds, I see now, that keep doors,
    890Nor all good wenches that are marked for whores.
    Exit.