Digital Renaissance Editions

About this text

  • Title: The Honest Whore, Part 1 (Modern)
  • Editor: Joost Daalder
  • ISBN: 978-1-55058-490-5

    Copyright Digital Renaissance Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Authors: Thomas Dekker, Thomas Middleton
    Editor: Joost Daalder
    Peer Reviewed

    The Honest Whore, Part 1 (Modern)

    Enter Fustigo [with bandaged head], Crambo, and Poh.
    Hold up your hands, gentlemen. [Giving money] Here始s one, two, three – nay, I warrant they are sound pistoles, and without flaws; I had them of my sister, and I know she uses to put up nothing that始s cracked – three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine; by 1920this hand, bring me but a piece of his blood, and you shall have nine more. I始ll lurk in a tavern not far off, and provide supper to close up the end of the tragedy. The linen-draper始s, remember. Stand to始t, I beseech you, and play your parts perfectly.
    Look you, signor, 始tis not your gold that we weigh.
    Nay, nay, weigh it and spare not. If it lack one grain of corn, I始ll give you a bushel of wheat to make it up.
    But by your favour, signor, which of the servants is it? Because we始ll punish justly.
    Marry, 始tis the head man. You shall taste him by his 1930tongue – a pretty, tall, prating fellow, with a Tuscalonian beard.
    Tuscalonian? Very good.
    Cod始s life, I was ne始er so thrummed since I was a gentleman. My coxcomb was dry-beaten as if my hair had been hemp.
    We始ll dry-beat some of them.
    Nay, it grew so high that my sister cried ‘Murder!始 out, very manfully. I have her consent, in a manner, to have him peppered; else I始d not do始t to win more than ten cheaters do at a rifling. Break but his pate or so, only his mazer, because I始ll have his head in a cloth as well as mine; he始s a linen-1940draper, and may take enough. I could enter mine action of battery against him, but we may 始haps be both dead and rotten before the lawyers would end it.
    No more to do but ensconce yourself i始th始 tavern. Provide no great cheer: a couple of capons, some pheasants, 1945plovers, an orangeado pie or so. But, how bloody soe始er the day be, sally you not forth.
    No, no; nay, if I stir, some body shall stink. I始ll not budge; I始ll lie like a dog in a manger.
    Well, well, to the tavern. Let not our supper be raw, 1950for you shall have blood enough, your bellyful.
    That始s all, so God sa始 me, I thirst after: blood for blood, bump for bump, nose for nose, head for head, plaster for plaster. And so farewell. What shall I call your names? Because I始ll leave word, if any such come to the bar.
    My name is Corporal Crambo.
    And mine Lieutenant Poh.
    Poh is as tall a man as ever opened oyster; I would not be the devil to meet Poh. Farewell.
    Nor I, by this light, if Poh be such a Poh.