Peer Reviewed
- Edition: The Honest Whore, Part 1
The Honest Whore, Part 1 (Modern)
- Introduction
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: Acknowledgements
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: Abbreviations
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: Introduction
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: Analysis of the Plays
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: The Plays in Performance
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: Textual Introduction
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: Appendices
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- Texts of this edition
- Facsimiles
423.1[1.4]
Signor Pioratto, Signor Fluello, shall始s be merry? Shall始s 426play the wags now?
Ay, anything that may beget the child of laughter.
Truth, I have a pretty sportive conceit new crept into 429my brain will move excellent mirth.
Let始s ha始t, let始s ha始t; and where shall the scene of mirth lie?
At Signor Candido始s house, the patient man – nay, the 432monstrous patient man. They say his blood is immovable, that 433he has taken all patience from a man, and all constancy from 434a woman.
That makes so many whores nowadays.
Ay, and so many knaves too.
Well, sir.
To conclude, the report goes he始s so mild, so 439affable, so suffering, that nothing indeed can move him. Now, do 440but think what sport it will be to make this fellow, the mirror 441of patience, as angry, as vexed, and as mad as an English 442cuckold.
O, 始twere admirable mirth, that! But how will始t be done, 444signor?
Let me alone; I have a trick, a conceit, a thing, a 446device will sting him, i始faith, if he have but a thimbleful of blood 447in始s belly, or a spleen not so big as a tavern-token.
Thou stir him? Thou move him? Thou anger him? 449Alas, I know his approved temper. Thou vex him? Why, he 450has a patience above man始s injuries. Thou mayst sooner raise a 451spleen in an angel than rough humour in him. Why, I始ll give 452you instance for it. This wonderfully tempered Signor Candido 453upon a time invited home to his house certain Neapolitan 454lords of curious taste and no mean palates, conjuring his wife, 455of all loves, to prepare cheer fitting for such honourable 456trencher-men. She – just of a woman始s nature, covetous to try the 457uttermost of vexation, and thinking at last to get the start of 458his humour – willingly neglected the preparation, and became 459unfurnished not only of dainty but of ordinary dishes. He, 460according to the mildness of his breast, entertained the lords 461and with courtly discourse beguiled the time, as much as a 462citizen might do. To conclude, they were hungry lords, for 463there came no meat in; their stomachs were plainly gulled 464and their teeth deluded, and, if anger could have seized a man, 465there was matter enough, i始faith, to vex any citizen in the 466world, if he were not too much made a fool by his wife.
Ay, I始ll swear for始t. 始Sfoot, had it been my case, I should 468ha始 played mad tricks with my wife and family. First, I would 469ha始 spitted the men, stewed the maids, and baked the mistress, 470and so served them in.
[To Castruccio] Why, 始twould ha始 tempted any blood but his;
始Sblood, Signor Pioratto, you that disparage my 475conceit, I始ll wage a hundred ducats upon the head on始t that it 476moves him, frets him, and galls him.
Done, 始tis a lay. Join golls on始t. – Witness, Signor Fluello.
Witness; 始tis done. [They shake hands on it.]
1.4.22.1Exeunt.