Let who will come, my noble chevalier; I can but 2184play the kind host and bid ʼem welcome.

Weʼll trouble your house, Mattheo, but as Dutchmen 2186do in taverns: drink, be merry, and be gone.

[Aside] Indeed, if you be right Dutchmen, if you fall to 2188drinking, you must be gone.

The worst is, my wife is not at home. But weʼll fly 2190high, my generous knight, for all that. Thereʼs no music 2191when a woman is in the consort.

[Aside] No, for sheʼs like a pair of virginals,

4.3.62193Always with jacks at her tail.

See, the covey is sprung.

Save you, gallants.

Happily encountered, sweet bloods.

Gentlemen, you all know Signor Candido, the 2199linen-draper, he thatʼs more patient than a brown baker upon 2200the day when he heats his oven and has forty scolds 2201about him.

Yes, we know him all. What of him?

Would it not be a good fit of mirth to make a piece 2204of English cloth of him, and to stretch him on the tenters 2205till the threads of his own natural humour crack, by 2206making him drink healths, tobacco, dance, sing bawdy songs, 2207or to run any bias according as we think good to cast him?

ʼTwere a morris dance worth the seeing.

But the old fox is so crafy we shall hardly hunt him out 2210of his den.

To that train I haʼ given fire already, and the hook 2212to draw him hither is to see certain pieces of lawn 2213which I told him I have to sell, and indeed have such. – Fetch 2214them down, Pacheco.

Yes, sir; Iʼm your water-spaniel, and will fetch 2216anything. [Aside] But Iʼll fetch one dish of meat anon shall turn your 2217stomach, and thatʼs a constable.

How now, how now?

What galley-foist is this?

Peace! Two dishes of stewed prunes: a bawd and a 2222pander. – My worthy Lieutenant Bots! Why, now I see thouʼrt 2223a man of thy word. Welcome. – Welcome, Mistress Horseleech. – 2224Pray, gentlemen, salute this reverend matron.

Thanks to all your worships.

I bade a drawer send in wine, too. Did none come 2227along with thee, grannam, but the lieutenant?

None came along with me but Bots, if it like you 2229worship.

Who the pox should come along with you but Bots?

O, brave! March fair!

Are you come? Thatʼs well.

Hereʼs ordnance able to sack a city.

Come, repeat, read this inventory.

Imprimis, a pottle of Greek wine, a pottle of 2237Peter-sameene, a pottle of Charneco, and a pottle of 2238Leatica.

Youʼre paid?

Yes, sir.

So shall some of us be anon, I fear.

Hereʼs a hot day towards. But zounds, this is the 2243life out of which a soldier sucks sweetness. When this 2244artillery goes off roundly, some must drop to the ground [Pointing at each of the pottles in turn]: 2245cannon, demi-cannon, saker, and basilisk.

Give fire, lieutenant.

[Pouring out wine] So, so. Must I venture first upon the breach? To you 2248all, gallants; Bots sets upon you all.

Itʼs hard, Bots, if we pepper not you as well as 2250you pepper us.

My noble linen-draper! – Some wine! – Welcome, 2253old lad.

Youʼre welcome, signor.

[To him] These lawns, sir?

Presently. My man is gone for them. [Indicating the wine] We haʼ rigged 2257a fleet, you see here, to sail about the world.

A dangerous voyage, sailing in such ships.

Thereʼs no casting overboard yet.

[To Horseleech] Because you are an old lady, I will have you be 2261acquainted with this grave citizen. Pray bestow your lips 2262upon him, and bid him welcome.

Any citizen shall be most welcome to me. [She kisses Candido and addresses him.] I 2264have used to buy ware at your shop.

It may be so, good madam.

Your prentices know my dealings well. I trust 2267your good wife be in good case. If it please you, bear her a 2268token from my lips, by word of mouth.

I pray, no more! Forsooth, ʼtis very well;

4.3.47Indeed, I 2270love no sweetmeats. [Aside] Shʼas a breath

4.3.48Stinks worse than 2271fifty polecats.

Stinks worse than fifty polecats. [Talking apart to Lodovico] Sir, a word –

4.3.49Is she a lady?

A woman of good house, and an ancient. Sheʼs a 2273bawd.

A bawd?

A bawd? [To Mattheo] Sir, Iʼll steal hence, and see your 2275lawns

4.3.52Some other time.

Steal out of such company? Pacheco, my man, is 2277but gone for ʼem. – Lieutenant Bots, drink to this worthy old 2278fellow, and teach him to fly high.

Swagger! And make him doʼt on his knees.

How, Bots? Now bless me, what do I with Bots?

4.3.562281No wine in sooth, no wine, good Master Bots.

Greybeard, goatʼs pizzle, ʼtis a health. Heave this [Indicating the wine] 2283in your guts, or this [Showing a dagger] there. I will sing a bawdy song, sir, 2284because your verjuice face is melancholy, to make liquor go 2285down glib. Will you fall on your marrowbones, and pledge 2286this health? ʼTis to my mistress, a whore.

Hereʼs ratsbane upon ratsbane, Master Bots.

4.3.59I 2288pray, sir, pardon me. You are a soldier;

4.3.60Press me not to this 2289service. I am old,

4.3.61And shoot not in such pot-guns.

And shoot not in such pot-guns. Cap, Iʼll teach you.

To drink healths is to drink sickness. – 2292Gentlemen,

4.3.63Pray rescue me.

Zounds, who dare?

We shall haʼ stabbing then?

I haʼ reckonings to cast up, good Master Bots.

[Giving him wine] This will make you cast ʼem up better.

[To Candido] Why does your hand shake so?

The palsy, signors, danceth in my blood.

Pipe, with a pox, sir, then! Or Iʼll make your blood 2300dance –

Hold, hold, good Master Bots, I drink.

Hold, hold, good Master Bots, I drink. To whom?

To the old countess there.

To me, old boy? This is he that never drunk wine!

4.3.742305Once again, toʼt.

[Aside] With much ado the poison is got down,

4.3.762307Though I can scarce get up. Never before

4.3.772308Drank I a whoreʼs health, nor will never more.

Hast been at gallows?

Yes, sir, for I make account to suffer today.

[To Candido] Look, signor, hereʼs the commodity.

Your price?

[Using his fingers] Thus.

No, too dear. [Using his fingers] Thus.

No. O, fie, you must fly higher! Yet take ʼem home. 2317Trifles shall not make us quarrel. Weʼll agree; you shall have 2318them, and a pennyworth. Iʼll fetch money at your shop.

Be it so, good signor; send me going.

Going? [To Orlando] A deep bowl of wine for Signor Candido.

He would be going.

Iʼll rather stay than go so. Stop your bowl.

How now?

Isʼt Shrove Tuesday, that these ghosts walk?

Whatʼs your business, sir?

From the Duke. You are the man we look for, 2328signor. I have warrant here from the Duke to apprehend 2329you upon felony for robbing two pedlars. I charge you 2330iʼthʼ Dukeʼs name, go quickly.

Is the wind turned? Well, this is that old wolf 2332my father-in-law. [To Orlando] Seek out your mistress, sirrah.

Yes, sir. [Aside] As shafts by piecing are made strong,

4.3.952334So shall thy life be straightened by this wrong.

In troth, we are sorry.

Brave men must be crossed. Pish, itʼs but Fortuneʼs 2337dice roving against me. [To the Constable] Come, sir, pray use me like a 2338gentleman; let me not be carried through the streets like a 2339pageant.

If these gentlemen please, you shall go along 2341with them.

Beʼt so; come.

[To Bots] What are you, sir?

I, sir? Sometimes a figure, sometimes a cipher, as the 2345state has occasion to cast up her accounts. Iʼm a soldier.

Your name is Bots, isʼt not?

Bots is my name; Bots is known to this company.

I know you are, sir. [Indicating Horseleech] Whatʼs she?

A gentlewoman, my mother.

[To Billmen] Take ʼem both along.

Me, sirrr?

Ay, sirrr.

If he swagger, raise the street.

Gentlemen, Gentlemen, whither will you drag us?

To the garden house. Bots, are we even with you?

To Bridewell with ʼem!

You will answer this.

Better than a challenge. I have warrant for my 2359work, sir.

Weʼll go before.

Pray do. –

4.3.1172362Who? Signor Candido? A citizen

4.3.118Of your degree consorted 2363thus, and revelling

4.3.119In such a house?

In such a house? Why, sir? What house, I pray?

Lewd and defamed.

Lewd and defamed. Isʼt so? Thanks, sir; Iʼm gone.

What have you there?

Lawns which I bought, sir, of the gentleman

4.3.1232369That keeps the house.

That keeps the house. And I have warrant here

4.3.124To search for such stolʼn 2371ware. These lawns are stolʼn.

Indeed?

Indeed? So heʼs the thief, you the receiver.

4.3.126Iʼm sorry for 2374this chance; I must commit you.

Me, sir? For what?

Me, sir? For what? These goods are found upon you,

4.3.128And you must 2377answerʼt.

And you must answerʼt. Must I so?

And you must answerʼt. Must I so? Most certain.

Iʼll send for bail.

Iʼll send for bail. I dare not. Yet, because

4.3.130You are a citizen of worth, 2381you shall not

4.3.131Be made a pointing-stock, but without guard

4.3.1322382Pass only with myself.

Pass only with myself. To Bridewell too?

No remedy.

No remedy. Yes, patience. Being not mad,

4.3.134They had me once to 2386Bedlam. 2387Now Iʼm drawn

4.3.135To Bridewell loving no whores.

To Bridewell loving no whores. You will buy lawn!