Come, you put up your wares in good order here, do 485you not, think you? One piece cast this way, another that way! 486You had need have a patient master, indeed.

[Aside] Ay, Iʼll be sworn, for we have a curst mistress.

You mumble? Do you mumble? I would your master 489or I could be a note more angry, for two patient folks in a 490house spoil all the servants that ever shall come under them.

[Aside] You patient! Ay, so is the devil when he is 492horn-mad.

Gentlemen, what do you lack? What isʼt you buy? 495See, fine hollands, fine cambrics, fine lawns.

What isʼt you lack?

What isʼt you buy?

Whereʼs Signor Candido, thy master?

Faith, signor, heʼs a little negotiated. Heʼll appear presently.

[To George] Fellow, letʼs see a lawn, a choice one, sirrah.

The best in all Milan, gentlemen, and [Showing it] this is the 502piece. I can fit you gentlemen with fine calicoes too, for 503doublets, the only sweet fashion now, most delicate and courtly, a 504meek, gentle calico, cut upon two double affable taffetas – ah, 505most neat, feat, and unmatchable!

[Aside to Pioratto] A notable, voluble-tongued villain.

[Aside to Fluello] I warrant this fellow was never begot without much 508prating.

[To George with his piece of lawn] What, and is this she, sayst thou?

Ay, and the purest she that ever you fingered since you 511were a gentleman. Look how even she is, look how clean she 512is – ha, as even as the brow of Cynthia, and as clean as your sons 513and heirs when they haʼ spent all.

Pooh, thou talkst – pox onʼt, ʼtis rough.

How? Is she rough? But if you bid pox onʼt sir, ʼtwill 516take away the roughness presently.

[To Castruccio] Ha, signor! Has he fitted your French curse?

[To Castruccio] Look you, gentleman, hereʼs another. [He displays another cloth.] Compare 519them, I pray: compara Virgilium cum Homero, compare virgins 520with harlots.

Pooh, I haʼ seen better, and, as you term them, evener 522and cleaner.

You may see further for your mind, but trust me, 524you shall not find better for your body.

[Aside to his companions] O, here he comes. Letʼs make as though we pass.

1.5.23526[Aloud] Come, come, weʼll try in some other shop.

How now? Whatʼs the matter?

The gentlemen find fault with this lawn, fall out 529with it, and without a cause too.

Without a cause?

1.5.27531And that makes you to let ʼem pass away? –

1.5.28532Ah, may I crave a word with you gentlemen?

[Aside to his companions] He calls us.

[Aside to Fluello] Makes the better for the jest.

I pray come near. Youʼre very welcome, gallants.

1.5.32536Pray pardon my manʼs rudeness, for I fear me

1.5.33537Hʼas talked above a prentice with you. [To a Prentice] Lawns!

1.5.34538[Showing the lawns] Look you, kind gentlemen. – This? No. – Ay, this;

1.5.35539Take this, upon my honest-dealing faith,

1.5.36540To be a true weave, not too hard, nor slack,

1.5.37541But eʼen as far from falsehood as from black.

Well, how do you rate it?

Very conscionable, eighteen shillings a yard.

Thatʼs too dear. How many yards does the whole 545piece contain, think you?

Why, some seventeen yards I think, or thereabouts. 547How much would serve your turn, I pray?

Why, let me see. [He examines the cloth.] Would it were better, too.

Truth, ʼtis the best in Milan, at few words.

Well, let me have, then – a whole pennyworth.

Ha, ha! Youʼre a merry gentleman.

A pennʼorth, I say.

Of lawn?

Of lawn? Ay, of lawn, a pennʼorth. ʼSblood, dost not 555hear? A whole pennʼorth. Are you deaf?

Deaf? No, sir, but I must tell you

1.5.50557Our wares do seldom meet such customers.

Nay, an you and your lawns be so squeamish, 559fare you well.

Pray stay, a word. Pray, signor,

1.5.53For what purpose 561is it, I beseech you?

ʼSblood, whatʼs that to you? Iʼll have a pennyworth.

A pennyworth? Why, you shall. Iʼll serve you presently.

[Aside to Viola] ʼSfoot, a pennyworth, mistress!

[To Candido] A pennyworth! Call you these gentlemen?

[To Candido, as he starts to cut the cloth] No, no, not there.

What then, kind gentleman? What, at this corner here?

No, nor there neither.

1.5.61569Iʼll have it just in the middle, or else not.

Just in the middle. Ha, you shall, too. What,

1.5.63571Have you a single penny?

Have you a single penny? [Producing a coin] Yes, hereʼs one.

Lend it me, I pray.

[Aside] An excellent-followed jest!

What, will he spoil the lawn now?

Patience, good wife.

Ay, that patience makes a fool of you. – Gentlemen, 577you might haʼ found some other citizen to have 578made a kind gull on besides my husband.

[As he proceeds to cut the cloth] Pray, gentlemen, take her to be a woman;

1.5.70580Do not regard her language. [To Viola] O kind soul,

1.5.71581Such words will drive away my customers.

‘Customersʼ with a murrain! Call you these customers?

Patience, good wife.

Pax oʼyour patience!

ʼSfoot, mistress, I warrant these are some cheating 585companions.

Look you, gentleman, thereʼs your ware. I thank 587you;

1.5.77I have your money.

I have your money. Here. Pray know my shop,

1.5.78Let me have your custom.

Let me have your custom. ‘Customʼ, quothʼa!

Let me take more of your money.

You had need so.

[Aside to Castruccio] Hark in thine ear: thʼast lost a hundred ducats.

[Aside in reply] Well, well, I knowʼt. Isʼt possible that homo

1.5.83593Should be nor man nor woman? Not once moved,

1.5.84594No, not at such an injury, not at all!

1.5.85595Sure heʼs a pigeon, for he has no gall.

[To Candido] Come, come, youʼre angry, though you smother it;

1.5.87597Youʼre vexed, iʼfaith – confess.

Youʼre vexed, iʼfaith – confess. Why, gentlemen,

1.5.88598Should you conceit me to be vexed or moved?

1.5.89599He has my ware, I have his money forʼt;

1.5.90600And thatʼs no argument I am angry. No,

1.5.91601The best logician cannot prove me so.

O, but the hateful name of a pennyworth of lawn,

1.5.93603And then cut out iʼthʼ middle of the piece!

1.5.94604Pah, I guess it by myself. ʼTwould move a lamb,

1.5.95605Were he a linen-draper; ʼtwould, iʼfaith.

Well, give me leave to answer you for that.

1.5.97607We are set here to please all customers,

1.5.98608Their humours and their fancies, offend none;

1.5.99609We get by many if we leese by one.

1.5.100610Maybe his mind stood to no more than that.

1.5.101611A pennʼorth serves him; and ʼmongst trades ʼtis found,

1.5.102612‘Deny a pennʼworth, it may cross a pound.ʼ

1.5.103613O, he that means to thrive with patient eye

1.5.104614Must please the devil if he come to buy.

O wondrous man, patient ʼbove wrong or woe!

1.5.106616How blest were men if women could be so.

And to express how well my breast is pleased

1.5.108618And satisfied in all, George, fill a beaker.

1.5.109619Iʼll drink unto that gentleman who lately

1.5.110620Bestowed his money with me.

Bestowed his money with me. Godʼs my life,

1.5.111621We shall have all our gains drunk out in beakers

1.5.112622To make amends for pennyworths of lawn!

1.5.113623Here, wife, begin you to the gentleman.

I begin to him?

I begin to him? George, fillʼt up again. –

1.5.115625ʼTwas my fault; my hand shook.

[Aside to his friends] How strangely this doth show:

1.5.117627A patient man linked with a waspish shrew!

[Aside] A silver-and-gilt beaker! I have a trick

1.5.119629To work upon that beaker. Sure ʼtwill fret him;

1.5.120630It cannot choose but vex him.

It cannot choose but vex him. [Aside to Castruccio] Signor Castruccio,

1.5.121631In pity to thee I have a conceit

1.5.122632Will save thy hundred ducats yet; ʼtwill doʼt,

1.5.123633And work him to impatience.

And work him to impatience. [Aside to Fluello] Sweet Fluello,

1.5.124634I should be bountiful to that conceit.

Well, ʼtis enough.

Well, ʼtis enough. 636Here, gentleman, to you.

1.5.126637I wish your custom; youʼre exceeding welcome.

I pledge you, Signor Candido. [He drinks to Candido.]

1.5.128Here, to you, that must 639receive a hundred ducats.

Iʼll pledge them deep, iʼfaith, Castruccio. [He drinks.]

1.5.130641Signor Fluello.

Signor Fluello. [To Pioratto] Come, playʼt off – to me;

1.5.131I am your last man.

I am your last man. George, supply the cup.

So, so, good honest George.

1.5.133645Here, Signor Candido;

Here, Signor Candido; all this to you.

O, you must pardon me. I use it not.

Will you not pledge me, then?

Will you not pledge me, then? Yes, but not that;

1.5.136649Great love is shown in little.

Great love is shown in little. Blurt on your sentences!

1.5.137ʼSfoot, you shall pledge 651me all.

ʼSfoot, you shall pledge me all. Indeed I shall not.

Not pledge me? ʼSblood, Iʼll carry away the beaker 654then.

The beaker? O, that at your pleasure, sir.

Now, by this drink, I will.

[To Candido] Pledge him; heʼll doʼt else.

So. I haʼ done you right, on my thumbnail.

1.5.143659What, will you pledge me now?

What, will you pledge me now? You know me, sir,

1.5.144I am not of that sin.

I am not of that sin. Why then, farewell.

1.5.145662Iʼll bear away the beaker, by this light.

Thatʼs as you please; ʼtis very good.

Nay, it doth please me, and as you say ʼtis a very good one.

1.5.148665Farewell, Signor Candido.

Farewell, Candido.

Youʼre welcome, gentlemen.

Youʼre welcome, gentlemen. [Aside] Heart, not moved yet?

1.5.151669[Aside to Fluello] I think his patience is above your wit.

I told you before, mistress, they were all cheaters.

Why, fool; why, husband; why, madman! I hope 672you will not let ʼem sneak away so, with a silver-and-gilt 673beaker, the best in the house, too. – Go, fellows, make hue and 674cry after them.

Pray let your tongue lie still; all will be well. –

1.5.155676Come hither, George. Hie to the constable,

1.5.156677And in calm order wish him to attach them.

1.5.157678Make no great stir, because theyʼre gentlemen;

1.5.158679And a thing partly done in merriment,

1.5.159680ʼTis but a size above a jest, thou knowst.

1.5.160681Therefore pursue it mildly. Go, begone.

1.5.161682The constableʼs hard by, bring him along.

1.5.162Make haste again.

O, youʼre a goodly patient woodcock, are you not 684now? 685See what your patience comes to: everyone saddles you and 686rides you, youʼll be shortly the common stone-horse of 687Milan. A womanʼs well holped up with such a meacock; I 688had rather have a husband that would swaddle me thrice a 689day than such a one, that will be gulled twice in half an 690hour. O, I could burn all the wares in my shop for anger!

Pray wear a peaceful temper, be my wife –

1.5.165692That is, be patient; for a wife and husband

1.5.166693Share but one soul between them. This being known,

1.5.167694Why should not one soul then agree in one?

Hang your agreements! But if my beaker be gone –

O, here they come.

The constable, sir, let ʼem come along with me, 699because there should be no wondering. He stays at door.

Constable, Goodman Abram?

Now, Signor Candido, ʼsblood, why do you attach us?

ʼSheart! Attach us!

ʼSheart! Attach us! Nay, swear not, gallants.

1.5.174704Your oaths may move your souls, but not move me;

1.5.175705You have a silver beaker of my wifeʼs.

You say not true, ʼtis gilt.

You say not true, ʼtis gilt. Then you say true.

1.5.177708And being gilt, the guilt lies more on you.

I hope youʼre not angry, sir.

I hope youʼre not angry, sir. Then you hope right,

1.5.179For I am not angry.

For I am not angry. No, but a little moved.

I moved? ʼTwas you were moved; you were brought hither.

But you, out of your anger and impatience,

1.5.182714Caused us to be attached.

Caused us to be attached. Nay, you misplace it.

1.5.183716Out of my quiet sufferance I did that,

1.5.184717And not of any wrath. Had I shown anger,

1.5.185718I should have then pursued you with the law,

1.5.186719And hunted you to shame, as many worldlings

1.5.187720Do build their anger upon feebler grounds –

1.5.188721The moreʼs the pity. Many lose their lives

1.5.189722For scarce so much coin as will hide their palm,

1.5.190723Which is most cruel. Those have vexèd spirits

1.5.191724That pursue lives. In this opinion rest:

1.5.192725The loss of millions could not move my breast.

Thou art a blest man, and with peace dost deal;

1.5.194727Such a meek spirit can bless a commonweal.

Gentlemen, now ʼtis upon eating-time,

1.5.196729Pray part not hence, but dine with me today.

I never heard a courtier yet say nay

1.5.198731To such a motion. Iʼll not be the first.

Nor I.

Nor I.

The constable shall bear you company.

1.5.202735George, call him in. Let the world say what it can,

1.5.203736Nothing can drive me from a patient man.