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  • Title: The Honest Whore, Part 2 (Quarto 1, 1630)
  • Editor: Joost Daalder
  • ISBN: 978-1-55058-490-5

    Copyright Digital Renaissance Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: Thomas Dekker
    Editor: Joost Daalder
    Not Peer Reviewed

    The Honest Whore, Part 2 (Quarto 1, 1630)

    Enter Matheo, Bellafront, and Orlando.
    Bel. How now, what ayles your Ma ster?
    Orl. Has taken a yonger brothers purge, forsooth, and
    that workes with him.
    1295 Bel. Where is his Cloake and Rapier?
    Orl. He has giuen vp his Cloake, and his Rapier is bound
    to the Peace: If you looke a little higher, you may see that
    another hath entred into hatband for him too. Sixe and
    foure haue put him into this sweat.
    1300 Bel. Where's all his money?
    Orl. 'Tis put ouer by exchange: his doublet was going to
    be tran slated, but for me: if any man would ha lent but
    halfe a ducket on his beard, the haire of it had stuft a paire
    of breeches by this time; I had but one poore penny, and
    1305that I was glad to niggle out, and buy a holly-wand to grace
    him thorow the streete. As hap was, his bootes were on, and
    then I du stied, to make people thinke he had beene riding,
    and I had runne by him.
    Bell. Oh me, how does my sweet Matheo?
    1310 Mat. Oh Rogue, of what deuili sh stuffe are these Dice
    made off? of the parings of the Deuils cornes of his toes,
    that they runne thus damnably.
    Bel. I prethee vex not.
    Mat. If any handy-crafts man was euer suffred to keep
    1315 shop in hell, it will be a Dice-maker; he's able to vndoe
    more soules then the Deuill; I plaid with mine owne Dice,
    yet lo st. Ha you any money?
    Bel. Las I ha none.
    Mat. Mu st haue money, mu st haue some, mu st haue a
    1320Cloake, and Rapier, and things: will you goe set your lime-
    twigs, and get me some birds, some money?
    Bel. What limetwigs should I set?
    Mat. You will not then? Mu st haue ca sh and pictures:
    doe ye heare, (frailty) shall I walke in a Plimouth Cloake, 1325(that's to say) like a rogue, in my hose and doublet, and a
    crabtree cudgell in my hand, and you swimme in your Sat-
    tins? mu st haue money, come.
    Orl. Is't bed-time, Ma ster, that you vndo my Mi stris?
    Bel. Vndoe me? Yes, yes, at these riflings
    1330I haue beene too often.
    Mat. Helpe to flea, Pacheco.
    Orl. Fleaing call you it?
    Mat. Ile pawne you by'th Lord, to your very eye-browes.
    Bel. With all my heart, since heauen will haue me poore,
    1335As good he drown'd at sea, as drown'd at shore.
    Orl. Why heare you, sir? yfaith doe not make away her
    Mat. Oh it's Summer, it's Summer; your onely fa shion
    for a woman now, is to be light, to be light.
    1340 Orl. Why, pray sir, employ some of that money you haue
    of mine.
    Mat. Thine? Ile starue fir st, Ile beg fir st; when I touch a
    penny of that, let these fingers ends rot.
    Orl. So they may, for that's pa st touching. I saw my
    1345twenty pounds flye hie.
    Mat. Knowe st thou neuer a damn'd Broker about the
    Orl. Damn'd Broker? yes, fiue hundred.
    Mat. The Gowne stood me in aboue twenty Duckets,
    1350borrow ten of it, cannot liue without siluer.
    Orl. Ile make what I can of it, sir, Ile be your Broker,
    But not your damb'd broker: Oh thou scuruy knaue,
    What makes a wife turne whore, but such a slaue? Exit.
    Mat. How now little chicke, what ayle st, weeping
    1355For a handfull of Taylors shreds? pox on them, are there
    not silkes enow at Mercers?
    Bel I care not for gay feathers, I.
    Mat. What doe st care for then? why doe st grieue?
    Bel. Why doe I grieue? A thousand sorrowes strike
    1360At one poore heart, and yet it liues. Matheo,
    Thou art a Game ster, prethee throw at all,
    Set all vpon one ca st, we kneele and pray,
    And struggle for life, yet mu st be ca st away.
    Meet misery quickly then, split all, sell all,
    1365And when thou ha st sold all, spend it, but I beseech thee
    Build not thy mind on me to coyne thee more,
    To get it would st thou haue me play the whore?
    Mat. 'Twas your profe s sion before I married you.
    Bel. Vmh? it was indeed: if all men should be branded
    1370For sinnes long since laid vp, who could be saued?
    The Quarter day's at hand, how will you doe
    To pay the Rent, Matheo?
    Mat. Why? doe as all of our occupation doe again st
    Quarter daies; breake vp house, remoue, shift your lodg-
    1375ings, pox a your Quarters.
    Enter Lodouico.
    Lod. Where's this Gallant?
    Mat. Signior Lodouico? how does my little Mirror of
    Knight-hood? this is kindly done yfaith: welcome by my
    Lod. And how doe st, frolicke? Saue you faire Lady. Thou
    looke st smug and brauely, Noble Mat.
    Mat. Drinke and feed, laugh and lie warme.
    Lod. Is this thy wife?
    1385 Mat. A poore Gentlewoman, sir, whom I make vse of
    a nights.
    Lod. Pay cu stome to your lips, sweet Lady.
    Mat. Borrow some shells of him, some wine, sweet
    1390 Lod. Ile send for't then yfaith.
    Mat. You send for't? Some wine I prethee.
    Bel. I ha no money.
    Mat. S'blood, nor I: What wine loue you, Signior?
    Lod. Here, or Ile not stay, I prote st; trouble the Gentle-
    1395woman too much? Exit Bellafront.
    And what newes flies abroad, Matheo?
    Mat. Troth, none. Oh Signior, we ha beene merry in our
    Lod. And no doubt shall agen.
    1400The Diuine powers neuer shoot Darts at men
    Mortall, to kill them.
    Mat. You say true.
    Lod. Why should we grieue at want?
    Say the world made thee her Minnion, that
    1405Thy head lay in her lap, and that she danc't thee
    On her wanton knee, she could but giue thee a whole
    World: that's all, and that all's nothing; the worlds
    Greate st part cannot fill vp one corner of thy heart.
    Say, the three corners were all filld, alas!
    1410Of what art thou po s s e st, a thinne blowne gla s s e:
    Such as by Boyes is puft into the aire.
    Were twenty Kingdomes thine, thou'd st liue in care:
    Thou could' st not sleepe the better, nor liue longer,
    Nor merrier be, nor healthfuller, nor stronger.
    1415If then thou want' st, thus make that want thy pleasure,
    No man wants all things, nor has all in measure.
    Mat. I am the mo st wretched fellow: sure some left-
    handed Prie st chri stned me, I am so vnlucky: I am neuer
    out of one puddle or another, still falling.
    1420 Enter Bellafront, and Orlando.
    Mat. Fill out wine to my little finger.
    With my heart yfaith.
    Lod. Thankes, good Matheo.
    To your owne sweet selfe.
    1425 Orl. All the Brokers hearts, sir, are made of flint, I can
    with all my knocking, strike but sixe sparkes of fire out of them, here's sixe duckets, if youle take them.
    Mat. Giue me them: an euill conscience gnaw them all,
    moths and plagues hang vpon their low sie wardrobs.
    1430 Lod. Is this your man, Matheo? An old Seruingman.
    Orl. You may giue me t'other halfe too, sir:
    That's the Begger.
    Lod. What ha st there, gold?
    Mat. A sort of Rascalls are in my debt, (God knowes
    1435what) and they feed me with bits, with crummes, a pox
    choke them.
    Lod. A word, Matheo: be not angry with me,
    Beleeue it that I know the touch of time,
    And can part copper (tho it be gilded o're)
    1440From the true gold: the sailes which thou doe st spread,
    Would show well, if they were not borrowed.
    The sound of thy low fortunes drew me hither,
    I giue my selfe vnto thee, prethee vse me,
    I will be stow on you a suite of Sattin,
    1445And all things else to fit a Gentleman,
    Because I loue you.
    Mat. Thankes, good Noble Knight.
    Lod. Call on me when you please,
    Till then farewell. Exit.
    1450 Mat. Ha st angled? ha st cut vp this fre sh Salmon?
    Bel. Wud st haue me be so base?
    Mat. It's base to steale, it's base to be a whore:
    Thou't be more base, Ile make thee keepe a doore. Exit.
    Orl. I hope he will not sneake away with all the money,
    1455will he?
    Bel. Thou see st he does.
    Orl. Nay then it's well. I set my braines vpon an vpright
    La st; tho my wits be old, yet they are like a witherd pip-
    pin, wholsome. Looke you, Mi stris, I told him I had but sixe
    1460duckets of the (Knaue) Broker, but I had eight, and kept
    these two for you.
    Bel. Thou should st haue giuen him all.
    Orl. What, to flie hie?
    Bel. Like waues, my misery driues on misery. Exit.
    1465 Orl. Sell his wiues cloathes from her backe? does any
    Poulterers wife pull chickins aliue? He Riots all abroad,
    wants all at home; he Dices, whores, swaggers, sweares,
    cheates, borrowes, pawnes: Ile giue him hooke and line,
    a little more for all this.
    1470Yet sure i'th end he'll delude all my hopes,
    And shew me a French tricke danc'd on the ropes. Exit.