891Enter Candido, Lodouico like a Prentice. 892Lod. Come, come, come, what doe yee lacke,
sir? what
D 2 doe
The Honest Whore.
893doe ye lacke,
sir? what is't ye lacke,
sir? is not my Wor
ship
894well
suited? did you euer
see a Gentleman better di
sgui
sed
? 895Cand. Neuer, beleeue me, Signior.
896Lod. Yes: but when he has bin drunke, there be Prenti
- 897ces would make mad Gallants, for they would
spend all, and
898drinke, and whore, and
so forth; and I
see we Gallants could
899make mad Prentices. How does thy wife like me? Nay, I
900mu
st not be
so
sawcy, then I
spoyle all: pray you how does
902Cand. Well: for
she takes you for a very
simple fellow.
903Lod. And they that are taken for
such, are commonly
904the arrante
st knaues: but to our Comedy, come.
905Cand. I
shall not a
ct it, chide you
say, and
fret,
906And grow impatient: I
shall neuer doo't.
907Lod. S'blood, cannot you doe as all the world does?
909Cand. Were I a Painter, that
should liue by drawing no
- 910thing but Pi
ctures of an angry man, I
should not earne my
911colours; I cannot doo't.
912Lod. Remember y'are a Linnen Draper, and that if you
913giue your wife a yard,
she'll take an ell: giue her not there
- 914fore a quarter of your yard, not a nayle.
915Cand. Say I
should turne to Ice, and nip her loue now 'tis
917Lod. Well,
say
she's nipt.
918Cand. It will
so ouerchange her heart with griefe,
919That like a Cannon, when her
sighes goe o
ff,
920She in her duty either will recoyle,
921Or breake in pieces and
so dye: her death,
922By my vnkindne
sse might be counted murther.
923Lod. Dye? neuer, neuer; I doe not bid you beat her, nor
924giue her blacke eyes, nor pinch her
sides: but cro
sse her
925humours. Are not Bakers armes the skales of Iu
stice? yet
926is not their bread light? and may not you I pray bridle her
927with a
sharpe bit, yet ride her gently?
928Cand. Well, I will try your pills, doe you your faithfull
929seruice, and bee ready
still at a pinch to helpe me in this
part,
The Honest Whore.
930part, or el
se I
shall be out cleane.
931Lod. Come, come, Ile prompt you.
932Cand. Ile call her forth now,
shall I?
933Lod. Doe, doe, brauely.
934Cand. Luke, I pray bid your Mi
stris to come hither.
935Lod. Luke, I pray bid your Mi
stris to come hither.
936Cand. Sirra, bid my wife come to me: why, when?
937Luke. Pre
sently,
sir,
she comes.--- ---
within --
938Lod. La you, there's the eccho,
she comes.
Exit Bride. 939Bride. What is your plea
sure with me?
941I haue intent, and (you
see) this
stripling here,
942He beares good will and liking to my trade,
943And meanes to deale in Linnen.
944Lod. Yes indeed,
sir, I would deale in Linnen, if my Mi
- 945stris like me
so well as I like her?
946Cand. I hope to
finde him hone
st, pray good wife looke
947that his bed and chamber be made ready.
948Bride. Y'are be
st to let him hire mee for his maide?
949I looke to his bed? looke too't your
selfe.
951I
sweare to you a great oath.
952Lod. Sweare, cry Zoundes.
953Cand. I will not, goe to wife, I will not.
954Lod. That your great oath?
955Cand. Swallow the
se gudgeons.
957Cand. Then fa
st, then you may choo
se.
959What trickes you played,
swaggerd, broke gla
sses! Fie,
960Fie,
fie,
fie: and now before my Prentice here
961You make an a
sse of me; thou, (what
shall I call thee?)
962Bride. Euen what you will.
963Lod. Call her arrant whore.
964Cand. Oh
fie, by no meanes, then
she'll call me Cuckold,
965sirrah, goe looke to'th
shop: how does this
show?
966Lod. Excellent well, Ile goe looke to the
shop,
sir. Fine
D 3 Cam-
The Honest Whore.
967Cambricks, Lawnes, what doe you lacke.
Exit Lodouico. 968Cand. A cur
st Cowes milke I ha drunke once before,
969And 'twas
so ranke in ta
ste, Ile drinke no more.
971Bride. You may,
sir, if you can,
972But at a wra
stling I haue
seene a fellow
973Limbd like an Oxe, throwne by a little man.
974Cand. And
so you'll throw me. Reach me (Knaues) a yard.
975Lod. A Yard for my Ma
ster.
9761. Prent. My Ma
ster is growne valiant.
977Cand. Ile teach you fencing trickes.
978Omnes. Rare, rare; a prize.
979Lod. What will you doe,
sir?
980Can. Mary, my good Prentice, nothing but breathe my wife.
981Bride. Breathe me with your yard?
982Lod. No, he'll but mea
sure you out, for
sooth.
983Bride. Since you'll needes fence, handle your weapon well,
984For if you take a yard, Ile take an ell.
986Lod. An ell for my Mi
stris.
987Keep the lawes of the Noble Science,
sir, & mea
sure weapons
988with her; your yard is a plaine Heatheni
sh weapon; 'tis too
989short,
she may giue you a handfull, & yet you'l not reach her.
990Cand. Yet I ha the longer arme, come fall too't roundly,
991And
spare not me (wife) for Ile lay't on
soundly.
992If o're husbands their wiues will needes be Ma
sters,
993We men will haue a law to win't at wa
sters
994Lod. 'Tis for the breeches, is't not?
995Cand. For the breeches.
996Bride. Husband I am for you, Ile not
strike in ie
st.
998Bride. But will you
signe to one reque
st?
1000Bride. Let me giue the
fir
st blow.
1001Cand. The
fir
st blow, wife,
shall I?
Prompt? 1003If
she
strike hard, in to her, and breake her pate.
Cand.
The Honest Whore.
1004Cand. A bargaine. Strike.
1005Bride. Then guard you
from this blow,
1006For I play all at legges, but 'tis thus low.
She kneeles. 1007Behold, I am
such a cunning Fencer growne,
1008I keepe my ground, yet downe I will be throwne
1009With the lea
st blow you giue me, I di
sdaine
1010The wife that is her husbands Soueraigne.
1011She that vpon your pillow
fir
st did re
st,
1012They
say, the breeches wore, which I dete
st.
1013The taxe which
she impo
sed vpon you, I abate you,
1014If me you make your Ma
ster, I
shall hate you.
1015The world
shall iudge who o
ffers faire
st play;
1016You win the breeches, but I win the day.
1017Cand. Thou win
st the day indeed, giue me thy hand,
1018Ile challenge thee no more: my patient bre
st 1019Plaid thus the Rebell, onely for a ie
st:
1020Here's the rancke rider that breakes Colts, 'tis he
1021Can tame the mad folkes, and cur
st wiues.
1022Bride. Who, your man?
1023Cand. My man? my Ma
ster, tho his head be bare,
1024But he's
so courteous, he'll put o
ff his haire.
1025Lod. Nay, if your
seruice be
so hot, a man cannot keepe
1026his haire on, Ile
serue you no longer.
1027Bride. Is this your Schoolema
ster?
1028Lod. Yes faith, wench, I taught him to take thee downe:
1029I hope thou can
st take him downe without teaching; you
1030ha got the conque
st, and you both are
friends.
1031Cand. Beare witnes el
se.
1032Lod. My Prenti
ship then ends.
1033Cand. For the good
seruice you to me haue done,
1034I giue you all your yeeres.
1035Lod. I thanke you Ma
ster.
1036Ile ki
sse my Mi
stris now, that
she may
say,
1037My man was bound, and
free all in one day.
Exeunt.