425Cast: Signior Pioratto, signior Fluello, shalls be merry? shalls

426play the wags now?

427Flu: I, any thing that may beget the childe of laughter.

428Cast: Truth I have a prettie sportive conceit new crept into

429my braine, will moove excellent mirth.

430Pio: Let's ha't, let's ha't, and where shall the sceane of mirth (lie?

431Cast. At signior Candidoes house, the patient man; nay the

432monstrous patient man; they say his bloud is immoveable, that

433he haz taken all patience from a man, and all constancie from

434a woman.

435Flu: That makes so many whores nowadaies.

436Cast: I, and so many knaves too.

437Pio: Well sir.

438Cast: To conclude, the report goes, hee's so milde, so affa-

439ble, so suffering, that nothing indeede can move him: now do

440but thinke what sport it will be to make this fellow (the mirror

441of patience) as angry, as vext, and as madde as an English cuc-

442kolde.

443Flu. O, t'were admirable mirth, that: but how wilt be done

444signior?

445Cast: Let me alone, I have a tricke, a conceit, a thing, a de-

446vise will sting him yfaith, if he have but a thimble full of blood

447in's belly, or a spleene not so bigge as a taverne token.

448Pio: Thou stirre him? thou moove him? thou anger him?

449alas, I know his approoved temper: thou vex him? why hee

450haz a patience above mans iniuries: thou maist sooner raise a

451spleene in an Angell, than rough humour in him: why ile give

452you instance for it. This wonderfully temperd signior Candido

453vpon a time invited home to his house certaine Neapolitane

454lords of curious taste, and no meane pallats, conjuring his wife

455of all loves, to prepare cheere fitting for such honourable tren-

456cher-men. She (just of a womans nature, covetous to try the

457vttermost of vexation, and thinking at last to get the starte of

458his humour,) willingly neglected the preparation, and became

459vnfurnisht, not onely of daintie, but of ordinarie dishes. He (ac-

460cording to the mildenesse of his breast,) entertained the lords,

461and with courtly discourse beguiled the time (as much as a Cit-

462tizen might do:) To conclude, they were hungry lordes, for

463there came no meate in; their stomacks were plainely gulld,

464and their teeth deluded, and (if anger could have seizd a man,)

465there was matter enough yfaith to vexe any Citizen in the

466world, if he were not too much made a foole by his wife.

467Flu: I, ile sweare for't: sfoote, had it beene my case, I should

468ha plaide mad trickes with my wife and family: first I would

469ha spitted the men, stewd the maides, and bak't the mistresse,

470and so served them in.

471Pio: Why t'would ha tempted any blood but his,

472And thou to vexe him? thou to anger him

473With some poore shallow jest?

474Cast: Sblood signior Pioratto, (you that disparage my con-

475ceit,) ile wage a hundred duckats vppon the head on't, that it

476mooves him, frets him, and galles him.

477Pio: Done, tis a lay, ioyne golls on't: witnes signior Fluello.

478Cast: Witnes, tis done:

479Come, follow me; the house is not farre off,

480Ile thrust him from his humour, vex his breast,

481And win a hundred duckats by one jest. Exeunt.