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  • Title: The Honest Whore, Part 2 (Quarto 1, 1630)
  • Editor: Joost Daalder

    • ISBN: 978-1-55058-490-5

    Copyright Digital Renaissance Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: Thomas Dekker
    Editor: Joost Daalder
    Not Peer Reviewed

    The Honest Whore, Part 2 (Quarto 1, 1630)

    Enter Matheo, Bellafront, and Orlando.
    Bel. How now, what ayles your Master?
    Orl. Has taken a yonger brothers purge, forsooth, and
    that workes with him.
    Bel.
    The Honest Whore.
    1295Bel. Where is his Cloake and Rapier?
    Orl. He has giuen vp his Cloake, and his Rapier is bound
    to the Peace: If you looke a little higher, you may see that
    another hath entred into hatband for him too. Sixe and
    foure haue put him into this sweat.
    1300Bel. Where's all his money?
    Orl. 'Tis put ouer by exchange: his doublet was going to
    be translated, but for me: if any man would ha lent but
    halfe a ducket on his beard, the haire of it had stuft a paire
    of breeches by this time; I had but one poore penny, and
    1305that I was glad to niggle out, and buy a holly-wand to grace
    him thorow the streete. As hap was, his bootes were on, and
    then I dustied, to make people thinke he had beene riding,
    and I had runne by him.
    Bell. Oh me, how does my sweet Matheo?
    1310Mat. Oh Rogue, of what deuilish stuffe are these Dice
    made off? of the parings of the Deuils cornes of his toes,
    that they runne thus damnably.
    Bel. I prethee vex not.
    Mat. If any handy-crafts man was euer suffred to keep
    1315shop in hell, it will be a Dice-maker; he's able to vndoe
    more soules then the Deuill; I plaid with mine owne Dice,
    yet lost. Ha you any money?
    Bel. Las I ha none.
    Mat. Must haue money, must haue some, must haue a
    1320Cloake, and Rapier, and things: will you goe set your lime-
    twigs, and get me some birds, some money?
    Bel. What limetwigs should I set?
    Mat. You will not then? Must haue cash and pictures:
    doe ye heare, (frailty) shall I walke in a Plimouth Cloake, 1325(that's to say) like a rogue, in my hose and doublet, and a
    crabtree cudgell in my hand, and you swimme in your Sat-
    tins? must haue money, come.
    Orl. Is't bed-time, Master, that you vndo my Mistris?
    Bel. Vndoe me? Yes, yes, at these riflings
    1330I haue beene too often.
    Mat. Helpe to flea, Pacheco.
    Orl.
    The Honest Whore.
    Orl. Fleaing call you it?
    Mat. Ile pawne you by'th Lord, to your very eye-browes.
    Bel. With all my heart, since heauen will haue me poore,
    1335As good he drown'd at sea, as drown'd at shore.
    Orl. Why heare you, sir? yfaith doe not make away her
    Gowne.
    Mat. Oh it's Summer, it's Summer; your onely fashion
    for a woman now, is to be light, to be light.
    1340Orl. Why, pray sir, employ some of that money you haue
    of mine.
    Mat. Thine? Ile starue first, Ile beg first; when I touch a
    penny of that, let these fingers ends rot.
    Orl. So they may, for that's past touching. I saw my
    1345twenty pounds flye hie.
    Mat. Knowest thou neuer a damn'd Broker about the
    Citty?
    Orl. Damn'd Broker? yes, fiue hundred.
    Mat. The Gowne stood me in aboue twenty Duckets,
    1350borrow ten of it, cannot liue without siluer.
    Orl. Ile make what I can of it, sir, Ile be your Broker,
    But not your damb'd broker: Oh thou scuruy knaue,
    What makes a wife turne whore, but such a slaue? Exit.
    Mat. How now little chicke, what aylest, weeping
    1355For a handfull of Taylors shreds? pox on them, are there
    not silkes enow at Mercers?
    Bel I care not for gay feathers, I.
    Mat. What doest care for then? why doest grieue?
    Bel. Why doe I grieue? A thousand sorrowes strike
    1360At one poore heart, and yet it liues. Matheo,
    Thou art a Gamester, prethee throw at all,
    Set all vpon one cast, we kneele and pray,
    And struggle for life, yet must be cast away.
    Meet misery quickly then, split all, sell all,
    1365And when thou hast sold all, spend it, but I beseech thee
    Build not thy mind on me to coyne thee more,
    To get it wouldst thou haue me play the whore?
    Mat. 'Twas your profession before I married you.
    Bel.
    The Honest Whore.
    Bel. Vmh? it was indeed: if all men should be branded
    1370For sinnes long since laid vp, who could be saued?
    The Quarter day's at hand, how will you doe
    To pay the Rent, Matheo?
    Mat. Why? doe as all of our occupation doe against
    Quarter daies; breake vp house, remoue, shift your lodg-
    1375ings, pox a your Quarters.
    Enter Lodouico.
    Lod. Where's this Gallant?
    Mat. Signior Lodouico? how does my little Mirror of
    Knight-hood? this is kindly done yfaith: welcome by my
    1380troth.
    Lod. And how doest, frolicke? Saue you faire Lady. Thou
    lookest smug and brauely, Noble Mat.
    Mat. Drinke and feed, laugh and lie warme.
    Lod. Is this thy wife?
    1385Mat. A poore Gentlewoman, sir, whom I make vse of
    a nights.
    Lod. Pay custome to your lips, sweet Lady.
    Mat. Borrow some shells of him, some wine, sweet
    heart.
    1390Lod. Ile send for't then yfaith.
    Mat. You send for't? Some wine I prethee.
    Bel. I ha no money.
    Mat. S'blood, nor I: What wine loue you, Signior?
    Lod. Here, or Ile not stay, I protest; trouble the Gentle-
    1395woman too much? Exit Bellafront.
    And what newes flies abroad, Matheo?
    Mat. Troth, none. Oh Signior, we ha beene merry in our
    daies.
    Lod. And no doubt shall agen.
    1400The Diuine powers neuer shoot Darts at men
    Mortall, to kill them.
    Mat. You say true.
    Lod. Why should we grieue at want?
    Say the world made thee her Minnion, that
    F Thy
    The Honest Whore.
    1405Thy head lay in her lap, and that she danc't thee
    On her wanton knee, she could but giue thee a whole
    World: that's all, and that all's nothing; the worlds
    Greatest part cannot fill vp one corner of thy heart.
    Say, the three corners were all filld, alas!
    1410Of what art thou possest, a thinne blowne glasse:
    Such as by Boyes is puft into the aire.
    Were twenty Kingdomes thine, thou'dst liue in care:
    Thou could'st not sleepe the better, nor liue longer,
    Nor merrier be, nor healthfuller, nor stronger.
    1415If then thou want'st, thus make that want thy pleasure,
    No man wants all things, nor has all in measure.
    Mat. I am the most wretched fellow: sure some left-
    handed Priest christned me, I am so vnlucky: I am neuer
    out of one puddle or another, still falling.
    1420Enter Bellafront, and Orlando.
    Mat. Fill out wine to my little finger.
    With my heart yfaith.
    Lod. Thankes, good Matheo.
    To your owne sweet selfe.
    1425Orl. All the Brokers hearts, sir, are made of flint, I can
    with all my knocking, strike but sixe sparkes of fire out of them, here's sixe duckets, if youle take them.
    Mat. Giue me them: an euill conscience gnaw them all,
    moths and plagues hang vpon their lowsie wardrobs.
    1430Lod. Is this your man, Matheo? An old Seruingman.
    Orl. You may giue me t'other halfe too, sir:
    That's the Begger.
    Lod. What hast there, gold?
    Mat. A sort of Rascalls are in my debt, (God knowes
    1435what) and they feed me with bits, with crummes, a pox
    choke them.
    Lod. A word, Matheo: be not angry with me,
    Beleeue it that I know the touch of time,
    And can part copper (tho it be gilded o're)
    1440From the true gold: the sailes which thou doest spread,
    Would
    The Honest Whore.
    Would show well, if they were not borrowed.
    The sound of thy low fortunes drew me hither,
    I giue my selfe vnto thee, prethee vse me,
    I will bestow on you a suite of Sattin,
    1445And all things else to fit a Gentleman,
    Because I loue you.
    Mat. Thankes, good Noble Knight.
    Lod. Call on me when you please,
    Till then farewell. Exit.
    1450Mat. Hast angled? hast cut vp this fresh Salmon?
    Bel. Wudst haue me be so base?
    Mat. It's base to steale, it's base to be a whore:
    Thou't be more base, Ile make thee keepe a doore. Exit.
    Orl. I hope he will not sneake away with all the money,
    1455will he?
    Bel. Thou seest he does.
    Orl. Nay then it's well. I set my braines vpon an vpright
    Last; tho my wits be old, yet they are like a witherd pip-
    pin, wholsome. Looke you, Mistris, I told him I had but sixe
    1460duckets of the (Knaue) Broker, but I had eight, and kept
    these two for you.
    Bel. Thou shouldst haue giuen him all.
    Orl. What, to flie hie?
    Bel. Like waues, my misery driues on misery. Exit.
    1465Orl. Sell his wiues cloathes from her backe? does any
    Poulterers wife pull chickins aliue? He Riots all abroad,
    wants all at home; he Dices, whores, swaggers, sweares,
    cheates, borrowes, pawnes: Ile giue him hooke and line,
    a little more for all this.
    1470Yet sure i'th end he'll delude all my hopes,
    And shew me a French tricke danc'd on the ropes. Exit.
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