Peer Reviewed
- Edition: The Honest Whore, Part 2
The Honest Whore, Part 2 (Modern)
- Introduction
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: Acknowledgements
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: Abbreviations
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: Introduction
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: Analysis of the Plays
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: The Plays in Performance
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: Textual Introduction
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- The Honest Whore, Parts 1 and 2: Appendices
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- Texts of this edition
- Facsimiles
890.1[2.2]
2.2.0.1891Enter Candido, Lodovico like a Prentice, [wearing false hair, and two Prentices, in the shop.]
Come, come, come, what do ye lack, sir? What 893do ye lack, sir? What is始t ye lack, sir? Is not my worship 894well suited? Did you ever see a gentleman better disguised?
Never, believe me, signor.
Yes – but when he has been drunk. There be 897prentices would make mad gallants, for they would spend all, and 898drink, and whore, and so forth; and I see we gallants could 899make mad prentices. How does thy wife like me? Nay, I 900must not be so saucy; then I spoil all. Pray you, how does 901my mistress like me?
902Candido
Well; for she takes you for a very simple fellow.
And they that are taken for such are commonly 904the arrantest knaves. But to our comedy, come.
I shall not act it. Chide, you say, and fret,
始Sblood, cannot you do as all the world does: 908counterfeit?
Were I a painter, that should live by drawing
Remember you始re a linen-draper, and that if you 913give your wife a yard, she始ll take an ell. Give her not, 914therefore, a quarter of your yard, not a nail.
Say I should turn to ice, and nip her love
917Lodovico
Well, say she始s nipped.
It will so overcharge her heart with grief
Die? Never, never! I do not bid you beat her, nor 924give her black eyes, nor pinch her sides; but cross her 925humours. Are not bakers始 arms the scales of justice, yet 926is not their bread light? And may not you, I pray, bridle her 927with a sharp bit, yet ride her gently?
Well, I will try your pills.
2.2.23Or else I shall be out clean.
931Lodovico
Come, come, I始ll prompt you.
I始ll call her forth now, shall I?
933Lodovico
Do, do, bravely.
[Calling out] Luke, I pray, bid your mistress to come hither.
[Calling out] Luke, I pray, bid your mistress to come hither.
[Calling out] Sirrah, bid my wife come to me. Why, when?
(Within) Presently, sir. She comes.
La you, there始s the echo. She comes.
2.2.29.1Enter [the] Bride.
What is your pleasure with me?
940Candido
Marry, wife,
Yes indeed, sir, I would deal in linen, if my 945mistress like me so well as I like her.
I hope to find him honest. Pray, good wife,
You始re best to let him hire me for his maid.
950Candido
Even so?
952Lodovico
[Aside to him] Swear, cry ‘zounds始!
I will not – go to, wife – I will not –
[Aside to him] That your great oath?
– swallow these gudgeons!
[Aside to him] Well said.
Then fast; then you may choose.
958Candido
You know at table
Even what you will.
963Lodovico
[Aside to him] Call her arrant whore.
[Aside to Lodovico] O fie, by no means! Then she始ll call me cuckold.
[Aside to him] How does this show?
[Aside to him] Excellent well. [Aloud] I始ll go look to the shop, sir. – Fine 967cambrics, lawns! What do you lack?
2.2.51.1Exit Lodovico [into the shop].
A curst cow始s milk I ha始 drunk once before,
971Bride
You may, sir, if you can;
And so you始ll throw me? [Calling out] Reach me, knaves, a yard.
[Calling out] A yard for my master.
2.2.58.1Lodovico returns with a yardstick from the shop, followed by the two Prentices.
My master is grown valiant.
[To the Bride] I始ll teach you fencing tricks.
Rare, rare! A prize!
What will you do, sir?
Marry, my good prentice, nothing but breathe my wife.
Breathe me with your yard?
No, he始ll but measure you out, forsooth.
Since you‘ll needs fence, handle your weapon well,
986Lodovico
An ell for my mistress.
2.2.68.1[He fetches an ell-wand from the shop.]
2.2.69987[Aside to Candido] Keep the laws of the noble science, sir, and measure weapons 988with her. Your yard is a plain heathenish weapon. 始Tis too 989short. She may give you a handful, and yet you始ll not reach her.
[Aside to him] Yet I ha始 the longer arm.
[Aloud to the Bride] Come, fall to始t roundly,
始Tis for the breeches, is始t not?
995Candido
For the breeches.
Husband, I am for you. I始ll not strike in jest.
Nor I.
998Bride
But will you sign to one request?
What始s that?
1000Bride
Let me give the first blow.
The first blow, wife?
[Aside to Lodovico] Shall I? Prompt.
1002Lodovico
[Aside to Candido] Let her ha始t;
[Aloud to the Bride] A bargain. Strike.
1005Bride
Then guard from you this blow;
Thou winst the day indeed. Give me thy hand.
2.2.92.1[He takes her by the hand and raises her.]
1022Bride
Who, your man?
My man? My master, though his head be bare;
Nay, if your service be so hot a man cannot keep 1026his hair on, I始ll serve you no longer.
2.2.99.1[He takes off his false hair.]
Is this your schoolmaster?
Yes, faith, wench; I taught him to take thee down. 1029I hope thou canst take him down without teaching. You 1030ha始 got the conquest, and you both are friends.
Bear witness else.
1032Lodovico
My prenticeship then ends.
For the good service you to me have done
1035Lodovico
I thank you, master.
2.2.106.1[Kisses her.] Exeunt.