424424Enter Castruchio, Pioratto, and Fluello. 425425Cast: Signior
Pioratto,
signior
Fluello,
shalls be merry?
shalls
427427Flu: I, any thing that may beget the childe of laughter.
428428Cast: Truth I have a pretty
sportive conceit new crept into
429429my braine, will moove excellent mirth.
430430Pio: Lets ha't, lets ha't, and where
shall the
sceane of mirth (lie?
431431Cast. At
signior
Candidoes hou
se, the patient man, nay the
432432mon
strous patient man; they
say his bloud is immoveable, that
433433he haz taken all patience
from a man, and all con
stancie
from
435435Flu. That makes
so many whoores nowadayes.
436436Cast. I, and
so many knaves too.
438438Cast. To conclude, the reporte goes, hees
so milde,
so a
ffa
- 439439ble,
so
su
ffering, that nothing indeede can moove him: now do
440440but thinke what
sport it will be to make this fellow (the mirror
441441of patience) as angry, as vext, and as madde as an Engli
sh cuc
- 443443Flu. O, twere admirable mirth, that
: but how wilt be done
445445Cast. Let me alone, I have a tricke, a conceit, a thing, a de
- 446446vice will
sting him yfaith, if he have but a thimblefull of blood
447447ins belly, or a
spleene not
so bigge as a taverne token.
448448Pio. Thou
stirre him? thou moove him? thou anger him?
449449alas, I know his approoved temper: thou vex him? why hee
450450haz a patieuce above mans iniuries
: thou maie
st sooner rai
se a
spleane
The Honest Whore.
451451spleene in an Angell, than rough humour in him
: why ile give
452452you in
stance for it. This wonderfully temperd
signior
Candido 453453vppon a time invited home to his hou
se certaine Neapolitane
454454lordes of curious ta
ste, and no meane pallats, conjuring his wife
455455of all loves, to prepare cheere
fitting for
such honourable tren
- 456456cher-men. Shee (ju
st of a womans nature, covetous to trie the
457457vttermo
st of vexation, and thinking at la
st to gette the
starte of
458458his humour) willingly negle
cted the preparation, and became
459459vnfurni
sht, not onely of dainty, but of ordinary di
shes. He (ac
- 460460cording to the mildene
sse of his brea
st) entertained the lordes,
461461and with courtly di
scour
se beguiled the time (as much as a Cit
- 462462tizen might doe:) to conclude, they were hungry lordes, for
463463there came no meate in; their
stomackes were plainely gulld,
464464and their teeth deluded, and (if anger could have
seizd a man)
465465there was matter enough yfaith to vex any citizen in the
466world,
466if hee were not too much made a foole by his wife.
467467Flu. I, Ile
sweare for't: sfoote, had it beene my ca
se, I
should
468468ha playde mad trickes with my wife and family:
fir
st I woulde
469469ha
spitted the men,
stewd the maides, and bak't the mi
stre
sse,
471471Pio. Why twould ha tempred any bloud but his,
472472And thou to vex him? thou to anger him
473473With
some poore
shallow jea
st?
474474Cast. Sbloud
signior
Pioratto, (you that di
sparage my con
- 475475ceit) ile wage a hundred duckats vppon the head on't, that it
476476mooves him,
fretts him, and galles him.
477477Pio. Done, tis a lay, ioyne golls on't: witnes
signior
Fluello.
479479Come, follow mee: the hou
se is not farre o
ff,
480480Ile thru
st him
from his humour, vex his brea
st,
481481And winne a hundred duckats by one iea
st.
Exeunt.