0.1The Honest Whore, [Part One]

9Behold, yon comet shows his head again!

1.1.210Twice hath he thus at cross-turns thrown on us

1.1.311Prodigious looks; twice hath he troubled

1.1.412The waters of our eyes. See, heʼs turned wild. –

1.1.513Go on, in Godʼs name.

Go on, in Godʼs name. [To Attendants] On afore there, ho!

Kinsmen and friends, take from your manly sides

1.1.716Your weapons to keep back the despʼrate boy

1.1.817From doing violence to the innocent dead.

I prithee, dear Mattheo –

I prithee, dear Mattheo – Come, youʼre mad.

[To the Duke] I do arrest thee, murderer.

[To the Duke] I do arrest thee, murderer. [To Attendants] Set down,

1.1.1121Villains, set down that sorrow; ʼtis all mine.

[To the Gentlemen] I do beseech you all, for my bloodʼs sake

1.1.1323Send hence your milder spirits, and let wrath

1.1.1424Join in confederacy with your weaponsʼ points;

1.1.1525If he proceed to vex us, let your swords

1.1.1626Seek out his bowels. Funeral grief loathes words.

[To Attendants] Set on.

[To Attendants] Set on. [To Attendants] Set down the body.

[To Attendants] Set on. [To Attendants] Set down the body. O my lord,

1.1.1830Youʼre wrong! Iʼthʼ open street? You see sheʼs dead.

I know she is not dead.

I know she is not dead. Frantic young man,

1.1.2033Wilt thou believe these gentlemen? Pray speak.

1.1.2134Thou dost abuse my child, and mockst the tears

1.1.2235That here are shed for her. If to behold

1.1.2336Those roses withered that set out her cheeks,

1.1.2437That pair of stars that gave her body light

1.1.2538Darkened and dim for ever, all those rivers

1.1.2639That fed her veins with warm and crimson streams

1.1.2740Frozen and dried up – if these be signs of death,

1.1.2841Then is she dead. Thou unreligious youth,

1.1.2942Art not ashamed to empty all these eyes

1.1.3043Of funeral tears, a debt due to the dead

1.1.3144As mirth is to the living? Shamʼst thou not

1.1.3245To have them stare on thee? Hark, thou art curst

1.1.3346Even to thy face by those that scarce can speak.

My lord –

My lord – What wouldst thou have? Is she not dead?

O, you haʼ killed her by your cruelty!

Admit I had, thou killst her now again,

1.1.3751And art more savage than a barbarous Moor.

Let me but kiss her pale and bloodless lip.

O fie, fie, fie!

Or if not touch her, let me look on her.

As you regard your honour –

As you regard your honour – Honour? Smoke!

Or if you loved her living, spare her now.

Ay, well done, sir; you play the gentleman.

1.1.4459[Aside to Attendants] Steal hence. ʼTis nobly done. Away.

[Aside to Attendants] Steal hence. ʼTis nobly done. Away. [To Mattheo] Iʼll join

1.1.4560My force to yours, to stop this violent torrent.

1.1.4661[To Attendants] Pass on.

[To Attendants] Pass on. Mattheo, thou dost wound me more.

I give you physic, noble friend, not wounds.

O, well said, well done; a true gentleman!

1.1.4965Alack, I know the sea of loversʼ rage

1.1.5066Comes rushing with so strong a tide it beats

1.1.5167And bears down all respects of life, of honour,

1.1.5268Of friends, of foes. [To Hippolito] Forget her, gallant youth.

Forget her?

Forget her? Nay, nay, be but patient,

1.1.5471Forwhy deathʼs hand hath sued a strict divorce

1.1.5572ʼTwixt her and thee. Whatʼs beauty but a corse?

1.1.5673What but fair sand-dust are earthʼs purest forms?

1.1.5774Queensʼ bodies are but trunks to put in worms.

[Aside to Duke] Speak no more sentences, my good lord, but slip 76hence. You see they are but fits; Iʼll rule him, I warrant ye. Ay, so, 77tread gingerly; your Grace is here somewhat too long already.

1.1.5978[Aside] ʼSblood, the jest were now, if having taʼen some knocks 79oʼthʼ pate already, he should get loose again, and, like a mad 80ox, toss my new black cloaks into the kennel. I must humour 81his lordship. [To Hippolito] My lord Hippolito, is it in your stomach to 82go to dinner?

Where is the body?

The body, as the Duke spake very wisely, is gone 85to be wormed.

I cannot rest. Iʼll meet it at next turn.

1.1.6387Iʼll see how my love looks.

How your love looks? Worse than a scarecrow. 89Wrestle not with me; the great fellow gives the fall for a ducat.

I shall forget myself!

Pray do so; leave yourself behind yourself, and 92go whither you will. ʼSfoot, do you long to have base rogues, 93that maintain a Saint Anthonyʼs fire in their noses by nothing 94but twopenny ale, make ballads of you? If the Duke had but so 95much mettle in him as is in a cobblerʼs awl, he would haʼ been a 96vexed thing; he and his train had blown you up but that their 97powder has taken the wet of cowards. Youʼll bleed three pottles 98of Alicant, by this light, if you follow ʼem, and then we 99shall have a hole made in a wrong place, to have surgeons roll 100thee up like a baby in swaddling clouts.

What day is today, Mattheo?

Yea, marry, this is an easy question. Why, today is – 103let me see – Thursday.

O, Thursday.

Hereʼs a coil for a dead commodity! ʼSfoot, women 105when they are alive are but dead commodities, for you 106shall have one woman lie upon many menʼs hands.

She died on Monday, then.

And thatʼs the most villainous day of all the week 109to die in; and she was well, and ate a mess of water-gruel on 110Monday morning.

Ay, it cannot be

1.1.74112Such a bright taper should burn out so soon.

O yes, my lord, so soon. Why, I haʼ known them 114that at dinner have been as well, and had so much health, that they 115were glad to pledge it, yet before three oʼclock have been found 116dead drunk.

On Thursday buried, and on Monday died!

1.1.77118Quick haste, byʼr Lady; sure her winding sheet

1.1.78119Was laid out ʼfore her body, and the worms

1.1.79120That now must feast with her were even bespoke,

1.1.80121And solemnly invited like strange guests.

Strange feeders they are indeed, my lord, and, like 123your jester or young courtier, will enter upon any manʼs trencher 124without bidding.

Curst be that day for ever that robbed her

1.1.83126Of breath, and me of bliss! Henceforth let it stand

1.1.84127Within the wizardʼs book, the calendar,

1.1.85128Marked with a marginal finger, to be chosen

1.1.86129By thieves, by villains, and black murderers

1.1.87130As the best day for them to labour in.

1.1.88131If henceforth this adulterous, bawdy world

1.1.89132Be got with child with treason, sacrilege,

1.1.90133Atheism, rapes, treacherous friendship, perjury,

1.1.91134Slander (the beggarʼs sin), lies (sin of fools),

1.1.92135Or any other damned impieties,

1.1.93136On Monday let ʼem be deliverèd!

1.1.94137I swear to thee, Mattheo, by my soul,

1.1.95138Hereafter weekly on that day Iʼll glue

1.1.96139Mine eyelids down, because they shall not gaze

1.1.97140On any female cheek. And being locked up

1.1.98141In my close chamber, there Iʼll meditate

1.1.99142On nothing but my Infeliceʼs end,

1.1.100143Or on a dead manʼs skull draw out mine own.

Youʼll do all these good works now every Monday, 145because it is so bad; but I hope upon Tuesday morning I 146shall take you with a wench.

If ever, whilst frail blood through my veins run,

1.1.103148On womanʼs beams I throw affection

1.1.104149Save her thatʼs dead, or that I loosely fly

1.1.105150To thʼshore of any other wafting eye,

1.1.106151Let me not prosper, heaven! I will be true,

1.1.107152Even to her dust and ashes. Could her tomb

1.1.108153Stand, whilst I lived, so long that it might rot,

1.1.109154That should fall down, but she be neʼer forgot.

If you have this strange monster, Honesty, in 156your belly, why, so: jig-makers and chroniclers shall pick something 157out of you. But, an I smell not you and a bawdy-house 158out within these ten days, let my nose be as big as an English 159bag-pudding. Iʼll follow your lordship, though it be to 160the place aforenamed.