435.1[1.3]
Enter Dorido and Cosimo.
Dorido
Dost hear, Cosimo?
Cosimo
What say’st thou?
Dorido
I prithee, stay. Why, slip but her aside
440And thou shalt see the most resplendent fop
That ever did discredit nature: signor
Lothario, a country gentleman,
But now the court baboon, who persuades himself,
Out of a new kind of madness, to be
445The Duke’s favourite.
Enter Lothario [and] Borachio.
He comes. Th’other is
A bundle of proverbs, whom he seduced
From the plough to serve him for preferment.
[Dorido and Cosimo stand aside to listen furtively.]
Lothario
Borachio.
450Borachio
My lord?
Lothario
Survey my garments round, and then declare
If I have hit it.
Borachio
You have sir, but not the mark.
Lothario
What mark, thou bold parishioner of hell?
455Borachio
Why, sir, the mark I aim at: perferment.
After a storm comes a calm. The harder
You blow, the sooner your cheeks will ache. And he
That cares for your anger may have more of’t
5When he list. For my part, I know my mother.
Lothario
The forward sisters have conspired. Slave! Dog!
460Wilt thou never leave this immense folly?
Can nothing serve these dull lips but proverbs?
Borachio
Sir, I know none of your proverbs. First come,
First served: these words that are nearest the tongue,
Have opportunity soonest to leave
465The mouth.
Lothario
Is it, then, decreed I must grow mad?
Borachio
I’ll be no more flouted nor bruised, not I.
What need my lord be beholding to me
For’s mirth, when he may laugh at‘s own folly?
470Besides, though motion and exercise
Be good for gross bodies, therefore must they
Of the guard pitch me up and down like a bar?
Lothario
Sa, sa, sa! A mutiny in heaven!
Borachio
If there be, you are not likely to come
475Thither to appease it. First, end this quarrel
Upon earth. I have served you this six months
In hope of an office, and am no more
An officer than she that bore me.
Lothario
Alas, poor fool!
480I pity thee. Thou wilt believe nothing
But that which may be seen or understood.
I say thou art an officer. Or if thou art not,
Thou shalt be, which is better. For that fame
Which we now enjoy is in some danger
485To be lost, but that which we never had
Cannot be lost before we have it.
Borachio
O rare conclusion!
Lothario
Besides, look here and then rejoice: is the count –
Whom they call my rival i’th’ Duke’s favour –
490Is he – I say – accoutred like to me?
Why, his sleeves fit like stockings on his arms!
His breeches are like two cloak-bags, half sewed
Together in the twist, and his other
Garments sewn like plasters on him. Follow,
495And make thy fortune fat.
Borachio
Well, he that still expects but tires his hope,
What one cannot, another can. ’Tis so
With days and hours too. And for my part
Let the glass run out.
Exit Lothario [and] Borachio.
500Dorido
His man’s as full of proverbs
As a constable: he coins ‘em himself!
Cosimo
And such another headpiece filled with whey
As is the master here the sun ne’er saw!
Dorido
He walks like a Zealand stork!
505Cosimo
But sure the Duke
Enables error in their fancy by some
Behaviour equivalent to what
The master and the man expect? For else
Folly cannot be so sickly-eyed, but time
510Will give it strength to know itself.
Dorido
Why, sir, this dignifies the jest. They scarce
Ever saw the Duke, and are less known
Unto the world. His grace well apprehends
These voluntary mistakes of nature,
515In preservation of their intellects,
Are fitter subjects for accidental mirth
Then a comical continuance. It is
A levity too humble in a prince
To heed such trifles.
520Cosimo
Nay! Prithee, lead the way.
Exeunt [Dorido and Cosimo].