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  • Title: An Humorous Day's Mirth (Modern)
  • Editor: Eleanor Lowe
  • ISBN: 978-1-55058-513-1

    Copyright Digital Renaissance Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: George Chapman
    Editor: Eleanor Lowe
    Peer Reviewed

    An Humorous Day's Mirth (Modern)

    30.1[Scene 2]
    Enter Lemot and Colinet.
    Lemot
    How like thou this morning, Colinet? What, shall we have a fair day?
    Colinet
    The sky hangs full of humour, and I think 35we shall have rain.
    Lemot
    Why, rain is fair weather when the ground is dry and barren, especially when it rains humour, for then do men like hot sparrows and pigeons open all their wings ready to receive them.
    40Colinet
    Why, then, we may chance to have a fair day, for we shall spend it with so humorous acquaintance as rains nothing but humour all their lifetime.
    Lemot
    True, Colinet, over which will I sit like an old king in an old-fashion play, having his wife, his council, his children, 45 and his fool about him, to whom he will sit and point very learnedly as followeth:
    My council grave, and you my noble peers,
    My tender wife, and you my children dear,
    And thou my fool —
    Colinet
    Not meaning me, sir, I hope.
    50Lemot
    No, sir, but thus will I sit, as it were, and point out all my humorous companions.
    Colinet
    You shall do marvellous well, sir.
    Lemot
    I thank you for your good encouragement. But, Colinet, thou shalt see Catalian bring me hither an odd gentleman55 presently to be acquainted withal, who in his manner of taking acquaintance will make us excellent sport.
    Colinet
    Why, Lemot, I think thou sendest about of purpose for young gallants to be acquainted withal, to make thyself merry in the manner of taking acquaintance.
    60Lemot
    By heaven I do, Colinet, for there is no better sport than to observe the complement, for that’s their word, complement, do you mark, sir?
    Colinet
    Yea, sir, but what humour hath this gallant in his manner of taking acquaintance?
    65Lemot Marry thus, sir: he will speak the very selfsame word to a syllable after him of whom he takes acquaintance, as if I should say, ‘I am marvellous glad of your acquaintance’, he will reply, ‘I am marvellous glad of your acquaintance’. 70‘I have heard much good of your rare parts and fine carriage’; ‘I have heard much good of your rare parts and fine carriage’. So long as the complements of a gentleman last, he is your complete ape.
    Colinet
    Why, this is excellent.
    75Lemot
    Nay, sirrah, here’s the jest of it: when he is past this gratulation, he will retire himself to a chimney or a wall standing folding his arms thus; and go you and speak to him so far as the room you are in will afford you, you shall never get him from that most gentlemanlike set or behaviour.
    80Colinet
    This makes his humour perfect. I would he would come once.
    Enter Catalian and Blanvel.
    Lemot
    [Aside to Colinet] See where he comes. Now must I say, Lupus est in fabula, for these Latin ends are part of a gentleman and a 85good scholar.
    Catalian
    Oh, good morrow Monsieur Lemot. Here is the gentleman you desired so much to be acquainted withal.
    Lemot
    He is marvellous welcome. [To Blanvel] I shall be exceeding proud of your acquaintance.
    90Blanvel
    I shall be exceeding proud of your acquaintance.
    Lemot
    I have heard much good of your rare parts and fine carriages.
    Blanvel
    I have heard much good of your rare parts and fine carriages.
    95Lemot
    I shall be glad to be commanded by you.
    Blanvel
    I shall be glad to be commanded by you.
    Lemot
    I pray do not you say so.
    Blanvel
    I pray do not you say so.
    Lemot
    Well, gentlemen, this day let’s consecrate to mirth.100 And Colinet, you know, no man better, that you are mightily in love with lovely Martia, daughter to old Foyes.
    Colinet
    I confess it. Here are none but friends.
    Lemot
    Well then, go to her this morning in Countess Moren’s name, and so perhaps you may get her company, though 105the old churl be so jealous that he will suffer no man to come at her but the vain gull Labesha for his living sake, and he, as yet, she will not be acquainted withal.
    Colinet
    Well, this I’ll do, whatsoever come on it.
    Lemot
    Why nothing but good will come of it, ne’er doubt 110it man.
    Catalian
    [Aside to Lemot] He hath taken up his stand. Talk a little further and see an you can remove him.
    Lemot
    [Aside] I will, Catalian. [Aloud] Now, Monsieur Blanvel, mark, I pray.
    Blanvel
    I do, sir, very well, I warrant you.
    115Lemot
    You know the old Count Labervele hath a passing fair young lady, that is a passing foul Puritan?
    Blanvel
    I know her very well, sir. She goes more like a milkmaid than a countess, for all her youth and beauty.
    120Lemot
    True, sir. Yet of her is the old Count so jealous that he will suffer no man to come at her. Yet I will find a means that two of us will have access to her, though before his face, which shall so heat his jealous humour till he be stark mad. But, Colinet, go you first to lovely Martia, for ’tis 125too soon for the old lord and his fair young lady to rise.
    Colinet
    Adieu, Monsieur Blanvel.
    Blanvel
    Adieu, good Monsieur Colinet.
    Exit Colinet.
    Lemot
    Monsieur Blanvel, your kindness in this will bind me much to you.
    130Blanvel
    Monsieur Lemot, your kindness in this will bind me much to you.
    Lemot
    I pray you do not say so, sir.
    Blanvel
    I pray you do not say so sir.
    Lemot
    Will’t please you to go in?
    135Blanvel
    Will’t please you to go in?
    Lemot
    I will follow you.
    Blanvel
    I will follow you.
    Lemot
    It shall be yours.
    Blanvel
    It shall be yours.
    140Lemot
    Kind Monsieur Blanvel.
    Blanvel
    Kind Monsieur Lemot.
    Exeunt.