0.004The Humours of the Patient Man,
0.005and the Longing Wife.
0.008Printed by V. S. and are to be
solde by Iohn
0.009Hodgets at his
shoppe in Paules
0.011The converted Curtezan 1ACTVS PRIMVS. SCAENA PRIMA. 2Enter at one doore a Funerall, a Coronet lying on the Hearse, Scut- 3 chins and Garlands hanging on the sides, attended by Gasparo 4 Trebatzi, Duke of Millan, Castruchio, Sinezi. Pioratto 5 Fluello, and others at an other doore. Enter Hipolito in discon- 6 tented apparance: Matheo a Gentleman his friend, labouring 9BEhold, yon Commet
shewes his head againe;
10Twice hath he thus at cro
sse-turnes throwne on vs
11Prodigious lookes: Twice hath he troubled
12The waters of our eyes. See, hee's turnde wilde;
15Duke Kin
smen and
friends, take
from your manly
sides
16Your weapons to keepe backe the de
sprate boy
17From doing violence to the innocent dead.
18Hipolito I pry thee deere
Matheo.
19Matheo Come, y'are mad.
20Hip: I do are
st thee murderer:
set downe.
21Villaines
set downe that
sorrow, tis all mine.
22Duke I do be
seech you all, for my bloods
sake
23Send hence your milder
spirits, and let wrath
24Ioine in confederacie with your weapons points;
25If he proceede to vexe vs, let your
swordes
26Seeke out his bowells: funerall griefe loathes words.
28Hip. Set downe the body.
30Y'are wrong
: i'th open
streete
? you
see
shees dead.
31Hip: I know
shee is not dead.
32Duke Franticke yong man,
33Wilt thou beleeve the
se gentlemen? pray
speake:
A 2
The converted Curtezan.
34Thou doo
st abu
se my childe, and mock
st the teares
35That heere are
shed for her: If to behold
36Tho
se ro
ses withered, that
set out her cheekes:
37That paire of
starres that gave her body light,
38Darkned and dim for ever
: All tho
se rivers
39That fed her veines with warme and crim
son
streames,
40Frozen and dried vp: If the
se be
signes of death,
41Then is
she dead. Thou vnreligious youth,
42Art not a
shamde to emptie all the
se eyes
43Of funerall teares, (a debt due to the dead,)
44As mirth is to the living: Sham'
st thou not
45To have them
stare on thee? harke, thou art cur
st 46Even to thy face, by tho
se that
scarce can
speake.
48Duke What would
st thou have? is
she not dead
? 49Hip. Oh, you ha killd her by your crueltie.
50Duke Admit I had, thou kill
st her now againe;
51And art more
savage then a barbarous Moore.
52Hip. Let me but ki
sse her pale and bloodle
sse lip.
54Hip. Or if not touch her, let me looke on her.
55Math. As you regard your honour.
57Math. Or if you lov'de hir living,
spare her now.
58Duke I, well done
sir, you play the gentleman:
59Steale hence
: tis nobly done
: away
: Ile ioyne
60My force to yours, to
stop this violent torment:
61Pa
sse on.
Exeunt with funerall. 62Hip. Matheo, thou doo
st wound me more.
63Math. I give you phi
sicke noble
friend, not wounds,
64Duke Oh well
said, well done, a true gentleman:
65Alacke, I know the
sea of lovers rage
66Comes ru
shing with
so
strong a tide
: it beates
67And beares downe all re
spe
cts of life, of honour,
68Of
friends, of foes, forget her gallant youth.
70Duke Na, na, be but patient
: 71For why deaths hand hath
sued a
stri
ct divor
se
Twixt
The converted Curtezan.
72Twixt her and thee: whats beautie but a coar
se?
73What but faire
sand-du
st are earths pure
st formes:
74Queenes bodies are but trunckes to put in wormes.
75Matheo Speake no more
sentences, my good lord, but
slip
76hence; you
see they are but
fits, ile rule him I warrant ye. I,
so,
77treade gingerly, your Grace is heere
somewhat too long alrea
- 78dy. Sbloud the jea
st were now, if having tane
some knockes
79o'th pate already, he
should get loo
se againe, and like a madde
80Oxe, to
sse my new blacke cloakes into the kennell. I mu
st hu
- 81mour his lord
ship
: my lord
Hipolito, is it in your
stomacke to
83Hipolito Where is the body?
84Matheo The body, as the Duke
spake very wi
sely, is gone
86Hipolito I cannot re
st, ile meete it at next turne,
87Ile
see how my love lookes,
Mathaeo holds him ins armes 88Mathaeo How your love lookes
? wor
se than a
scarre-crowe,
89wra
stle not with me
: the great felow gives the fall for a duckat.
90Hipolito I
shall forget my
selfe.
91Mathaeo Pray do
so, leave your
selfe behinde your
selfe, and
92go whither you will. Sfoote, doe you long to have ba
se roags
93that maintaine a
saint
Anthonies fire in their no
ses (by nothing
94but two peny Ale) make ballads of you? if the Duke had but
so
95much mettle in him, as is in a coblers awle, he would ha beene a
96vext thing: he and his traine had blowne you vp, but that their
97powlder haz taken the wet of cowards
: youle bleed three pot
- 98tles of Aligant, by this light, if you follow em, and then wee
99shall have a hole made in a wrong place, to have Surgeons roll
100thee vp like a babie in
swadling clowts.
101Hipolito What day is to day, M
athaeo? 102Mathaeo Yea mary, this is an ea
sie que
stion
: why to day is,
103let me
see, thur
seday.
Hipolito Oh, thur
seday.
104Mathaeo Heeres a coile for a dead commoditie, sfoote wo
- 105men when they are alive are but dead commodities, for you
106shall have one woman lie vpon many mens hands.
107Hipolito Shee died on monday then.
108Mathaeo And thats the mo
st villainous day of all the weeke
109to die in
: and
she was wel, and eate a me
sse of water-grewel on
A 3 monday
The converted Curtezan.
111Hipolito I, it cannot be,
112Such a bright taper
should burne out
so
soone.
113Mathaeo O yes my Lord,
so
soone: why I ha knowne them,
114that at dinner have bin a
swell, and had
so much health, that they
115were glad to pledge it, yet before three a clocke have bin found
117Hipolito On thur
seday buried! and on monday died,
118Quicke ha
ste birlady:
sure her winding
sheete
119Was laide out fore her bodie, and the wormes
120That now mu
st fea
st with her, were even be
spoke,
121And
solemnely invited like
strange gue
sts.
122Mathaeo Strange feeders they are indeede my lord, and like
123your jea
ster or yong Courtier, will enter vpon any mans tren
- 125Hipolito Cur
st be that day for ever that robd her
126Of breath, and me of bli
sse, hencefoorth let it
stand
127Within the Wizardes booke (the kalendar)
128Markt with a marginall
finger, to be cho
sen
129By theeves, by villaines, and blacke murderers,
130As the be
st day for them to labour in.
131If hencefoorth this adulterous bawdy world
132Be got with childe with trea
son,
sacrilege,
133Athei
sme, rapes, treacherous
friend
ship, periurie,
134Slaunder, (the beggars
sinne) lies, (
sinne of fooles)
135Or anie other damnd impieties,
136On
Monday let em be delivered
: 137I
sweare to thee Math
aeo, by my
soule.
138Heereafter weekely on that day ile glew
139Mine eie-lids downe, becau
se they
shall not gaze
140On any female cheeke. And being lockt vp
141In my clo
se chamber, there ile meditate
142On nothing but my
Infaelices end,
143Or on a dead mans
scull drawe out mine owne.
144Mathaeo Youle doe all the
se good workes now every mon
- 145day, becau
se it is
so bad
: but I hope vppon tue
sday morning I
146shall take you with a wench.
147Hipolito If ever whil
st fraile bloud through my veins runne,
On
The converted Curtezan.
148On womans beames I throw a
ffe
ction,
149Save her thats dead: or that I loo
sely
flie
150To'th
shoare of any other wafting eie,
151Let me not pro
sper heaven. I will be true,
152Even to her du
st and a
shes
: could her tombe
153Stand whil
st I livde,
so long that it might rot,
154That
should fall downe, but
she be ne're forgot.
155Mathaeo If you have this
strange mon
ster, Hone
stie, in
156your belly, why
so Iig-makers and chroniclers
shall picke
som
- 157thing out of you
: but and I
smell not you and a bawdy hou
se
158out within the
se tenne daies, let my no
se be as bigge as an En
- 159gli
sh bag-pudding
: Ile followe your lord
ship, though it be to
160the place aforenamed.
Exeunt. 161Enter Fustigo in some fantastike Sea-suite at one 162doore, a Porter meets him at another. 163Fust. How now porter, will
she come?
164Porter If I may tru
st a woman
sir,
she will come.
165Fust. Theres for thy paines, godamercy, if ever I
stand in
166neede of a wench that will come with a wet
finger, Porter, thou
167shalt earne my mony before anie
Clarissimo in Millane; yet
so
168god
sa mee
shees mine owne
sister body and
soule, as I am a
169chri
stian Gentleman; farewell, ile ponder till
shee come: thou
170ha
st bin no bawde in fetching this woman, I a
ssure thee.
171Porter No matter if I had
sir, better men than Porters are
173Fust. O God
sir, manie that have borne o
ffices. But Por
- 174ter, art
sure thou went
st into a true hou
se
? 175Porter I thinke
so, for I met with no thieves.
176Fust. Nay but arte
sure it was my
sister
Viola.
177Porter I am
sure by all
super
scriptions it was the partie you (ciphered.
179Porter Nor very lowe, a midling woman.
180Fust. Twas
she faith, twas
she, a prettie plumpe cheeke like (mine.
181Porter At a blu
sh, a little very much like you.
182Fust. Gods
so, I would not for a duckat
she had kickt vp hir
183heeles, for I ha
spent an abomination this voyage, marie I
184did it among
st sailers and gentlemen
: theres a little modicum
more
The converted Curtezan.
185more porter for making thee
stay, farewell hone
st porter.
186Porter I am in your debt
sir, God pre
serve you.
Exit. 188Fu. Not
so neither, good porter, gods lid, yonder
she coms.
189Si
ster
Viola, I am glad to
see you
stirring: its newes to have mee
190heere, i
st not
sister
? 191Viola Yes tru
st me: I wondred who
should be
so bolde to
192send for me, you are welcome to
Millan brother.
193Fust. Troth
sister I heard you were married to a verie rich
194chu
ffe, and I was very
sorie for it, that I had no better clothes,
195and that made me
send: for you knowe wee Millaners love to
196strut vpon Spani
sh leather. And how does all our
friends?
197Viola Very well; you ha travelled enough now, I trowe, to
198sowe your wilde oates.
199Fust. A pox on em; wilde oates, I ha not an oate to throw
200at a hor
se, troth
sister I ha
sowde my oates, and reapt 200.
201duckats if I had em, heere, mary I mu
st intreate you to lend me
202some thirty or forty till the
ship come, by this hand ile di
scharge
203at my day, by this hand.
204Viola The
se are your olde oaths.
205Fust. Why
sister, doe you thinke ile for
sweare my hand?
206Viola Well, well, you
shall have them: put your
selfe into
207better fa
shion, becau
se I mu
st imploy you in a
serious matter.
208Fust. Ile
sweare like a hor
se if I like the matter.
209Uiola You ha ca
st o
ff all your olde
swaggering humours.
210Fust. I had not
sailde a league in that great
fish-pond (the
211sea) but I ca
st vp my very gall.
212Viola I am the more
sory, for I mu
st imploy a true
swagge
- 214Fust. Nay by this yron
sister, they
shall
finde I am powlder
215and touch-box, if they put
fire once into me.
216Uiola Then lend me your eares.
217Fust. Mine eares are yours deere
sister.
218Uiola I am married to a man that haz wealth enough, and
220Fust. A linnen Draper I was tolde
sister.
221Viola Very true, a grave Cittizen; I want nothing that a
222wife can wi
sh from a husband: but heeres the
spite, hee haz
not
The converted Curtezan.
223not all things belonging to a man.
224Fust: Gods my life, hees a very mandrake, or el
se (God ble
sse
225vs,) one a the
se whiblins, and thats woor
se, and then all the chil
- 226dren that he gets lawfully of your body
sister, are ba
stards by
228Vio. O you runne over me too fa
st brother; I have heard it
229often
said, that he who cannot be angry, is no man. I am
sure
230my husband is a man in print, for all things el
se,
save onely in
231this, no tempe
st can move him.
232Fust. Slid, would he had beene at
sea with vs, hee
should ha
233beene movde and movde agen, for Ile be
sworne la, our drun
- 234ken
ship reelde like a Dutchman.
235Viola No lo
sse of goods can increa
se in him a wrinckle, no
236crabbed language make his countenance
sowre, the
stubburn
- 237nes of no
servant
shake him, he haz no more gall in him than a
238Dove, no more
sting than an Ant
: Mu
sitian will he never bee,
239(yet I
finde much mu
sicke in him,) but he loves no
frets, and is
240so
free
from anger, that many times I am readie to bite o
ff my
241tongue, becau
se it wants that vertue which all womens tongues
242have (to anger their hu bands:) Brother, mine can by no thun
- 243der turne him into a
sharpenes.
244Fust. Belike his blood
sister, is well brewd then.
245Uiola I prote
st to thee
Fustigo, I love him mo
st a
ffe
cti
- 246onately, but I know not ---- I ha
such a tickling with
- 247in mee ----
such a
strange longing; nay, verily I doo
249Fustigo Then y'are with childe
sister; by all
signes and
250tokens; nay, I am partly a Phi
sitian, and partly
something
251el
se. I ha read
Albertus Magnus, and
Aristotles em
- 253Uiola Y'are wide ath bow hand
still brother: my longings
254are not wanton, but wayward: I long to have my patient hus
- 255band eate vp a whole Porcupine, to the intent, the bri
stling
256quills may
sticke about his lips like a
flemi
sh mu
stacho, and be
257shot at mee: I
shall be leaner than the new Moone, vnle
sse I
258can make him horne mad.
259Fust: Sfoote halfe a quarter of an houre does that: make him
B Viola
The converted Curtezan.
261Wife: Puh, he would count
such a cut no vnkindenes.
262Fust. The hone
ster Cittizen he; then make him drunke and
264Wife Fie,
fie, idle, idle, hee's no French-man to
fret at the
265lo
sse of a little
scalde haire. No brother, thus it
shall be, you mu
st 267Fu: As your Mid-wife I prote
st sister, or a Barber-
surgeon.
268Wife Repaire to the
Tortoys heere in S.
Christophers streete,
269I will
send you mony; turne your
selfe into a brave man: in
steed
270of the armes of your mi
stris, let your
sword and your militarie
271scarfe hang about your necke.
272Fust. I mu
st have a great Hor
se-mans French feather too
274Wife O, by any meanes to
shew your light head, el
se your
275hat will
sit like a coxcombe: to be briefe, you mu
st bee in all
276points a mo
st terrible wide-mouth'd
swaggerer:
277Fust: Nay, for
swaggering points let me alone.
278Wife Re
sort then to our
shop, & (in my husbands pre
sence)
279ki
sse me,
snatch rings, jewells, or any thing,
so you give it backe
280agen brother in
secret.
281Fust: By this hand
sister.
282Wife Sweare as if you came but new
from knight
- 284Fust. Nay, ile
sweare after 400. a yeare.
285Wife Swagger wor
se then a Lievetenant among
fre
sh water
286souldiers, call me your love, your yngle, your coo
sen, or
so; but
288Fust: No, no, it
shall be coo
sen, or rather cuz, thats the gul
- 289ling word betweene the Cittizens wives & their mad-caps,
290that man em to the garden; to call you one a my naunts
sister,
291were as good as call you arrant whoore: no, no, let me alone to
293Wife H'az heard I have a brother, but never
saw him, there
- 294fore put on a good face.
295Fust: The be
st in
Millan I warrant.
296Wife Take vp wares, but pay nothing, ri
fle my bo
some, my
297pocket, my pur
se, the boxes for mony to dice with all; but bro
- 298ther, you mu
st give all backe agen in
secret.
Fustigo
The converted Curtezan.
299Fustigo By this welkin that heere roares I will, or el
se
300let mee never know what a
secret is: why
sister do you thinke
301Ile cunni-catch you, when you are my coo
sen, Gods my life,
302then I were a
starke A
sse; if I
fret not his guts, beg me for a
304Wife Be circum
spe
ct, and do
so then, farewell.
305Fust: The
Tortoys sister! Ile
stay there; fortie duckats.
Exit. 306Wife Thither Ile
send: this law can none deny,
307Women mu
st have their longings, or they die.
Exit. 308Gasparo the Duke, Doctor Benedict, two seruants. 309Duke Give charge that none do enter, locke the doores;
310And fellowes, what your eies and eares receave,
311Vpon your lives tru
st not the gadding aire:
312To carrie the lea
st part of it, the gla
sse, the houre-gla
sse,
314Duke. Ah, tis meere
spent.
315But Do
ctor
Benedick, does your Art
speake truth?
316Art
sure the
soporiferous
streame will ebbe,
317And leave the Chri
stall banks of her white body
318(Pure as they were at
fir
st,) iu
st at the houre?
319Doctor Iu
st at the houre my Lord.
321Softly,
see Do
ctor what a coldi
sh heate
322Spreads over all her bodie.
324The vitall
spirits that by a
sleepie charme
325Were bound vp fa
st and threw an icie ru
st 326On her exterior parts, now gin to breake:
327Trouble her not my Lord.
328Duke Some
stooles, you calld
329For mu
sicke, did you not
? Oh ho, it
speakes,
330It
speakes, watch
sirs her waking, note tho
se
sands,
331Do
ctor
sit downe: A Dukedome that
should wey
332Mine owne downe twice, being put into one
scale,
333And that fond de
sperate boy
Hipolito,
334Making the weight vp,
should not (at my hands)
335Buy her i'th tother, were her
state more light
336Than hers, who makes a dowrie vp with almes.
B 2 Doctor
The converted Curtezan.
337Do
ctor Ile
starve her on the Appenine
338Ere he
shall marry her: I mu
st confe
sse,
339Hipolito is nobly borne, a man;
340Did not mine enemies blood boile in his veines,
341Whom I would court to be my
sonne in law?
342But Princes who
se high
spleenes for empery
swell,
343Are not with ea
sie Arte made paralell.
3442 Ser. She wakes my Lord.
Duke Looke Do
ctor
Benedict.
345I charge you on your lives maintaine for truth,
346What ere the Do
ctor or my
selfe averre,
347For you
shall beare her hence to
Bergamo 348Inf: Oh God, what fearefull dreames?
351Why
Infaelica, how i
st now, ha,
speake?
352Inf. I'me well, what makes this Do
ctor heere? I'me well.
353Duke Thou wert not
so even now,
sicknes pale hand
354Laid hold on thee even in the mid
st} of fea
sting;
355And when a cup crownde with thy lovers health
356Had toucht thy lips, a
sencible cold dew
357Stood on thy cheekes, as if that death had wept
358To
see
such beautie alter.
360I
sate at banquet, but felt no
such change.
361Duke Thou ha
st forgot then how a me
ssenger
362Came wildely in with this vn
savorie newes,
364Inf. What me
ssenger? whoes dead?
365Duke Hipolito, alacke, wring not thy hands.
366Inf. I
saw no me
ssenger, heard no
such newes.
367Doctor Tru
st me you did
sweete Lady.
368Duke La you now.
2 Servants Yes indeede Madam.
369Duke La you now, tis well good knaves.
370Inf. You ha
slaine him, and now you'le murder me.
371Duke Good
Infelica vexe not thus thy
selfe,
372Of this the bad report before did
strike
373So coldly to thy heart, that the
swift currents
374Of life were all
frozen vp.
It
The converted Curtezan.
376Tis mo
st vntrue, O mo
st vnnaturall father!
377Duke And we had much to do by Arts be
st cunning,
378To fetch life backe againe.
379Doctor Mo
st certaine Lady.
380Duke Why la you now, you'le not beleeve mee,
friends,
381Sweate we not all
? had we not much to do?
3822 Ser. Yes indeede my Lord, much.
383Duke Death drew
such fearefull pi
ctures in thy face,
384That were
Hipolito alive agen,
385I'de kneele and woo the noble gentleman
386To be thy husband: now I fore repent
387My
sharpenes to him, and his family;
388Nay, do not weepe for him, we all mu
st die:
389Do
ctor, this place where
she
so oft hath
seene
390His lively pre
sence, hurts her, does it not?
391Doctor Doubtle
sse my Lord it does.
392Duke It does, it does:
393Therefore
sweete girle thou
shalt to
Bergamo.
394Inf. Even where you will, in any place theres woe.
395Duke A Coach is ready,
Bergamo doth
stand
396In a mo
st whole
some aire,
sweete walkes, theres diere,
397I, thou
shalt hunt and
send vs veni
son,
398Which like
some godde
sse in the
Ciprian groves,
399Thine owne faire hand
shall
strike;
sirs, you
shall teach her
400To
stand, and how to
shoote, I,
she
shall hunt:
401Ca
st o
ff this
sorrow. In girle, and prepare
402This night to ride away to
Bergamo.
403Inf. O mo
st vnhappie maid.
Exit. 404Duke Follow her clo
se.
405No words that
she was buried on your lives,
406Or that her gho
st walkes now after
shees dead;
407Ile hang you if you name a funerall.
4081 Ser. Ile
speake Greeke my Lord, ere I
speake that dead
- 4102 Ser. And Ile
speake Welch, which is harder then Greek.
( Exeunt. 411Duke Away, looke to her; Do
ctor
Benedict,
412Did you ob
serve how her complexion altered
B 3 Vpon
The converted Curtezan.
413Vpon his name and death, O would t'were true.
414Doctor It may my Lord.
415Duke May
? how? I wi
sh his death.
416Doctor And you may have your wi
sh;
say but the word,
417And tis a
strong Spell to rip vp his grave:
418I have good knowledge with
Hipolito;
419He calls me
friend, ile creepe into his bo
some,
420And
sting him there to death; poi
son can doo't.
421Duke Performe it; ile create thee halfe mine heire.
422Doctor It
shall be done, although the fa
ct be fowle.
423Duke Greatnes hides
sin, the guilt vpon my
soule.
Exeunt 424Enter Castruchio, Pioratto, and Fluello. 425Cast: Signior
Pioratto,
signior
Fluello,
shalls be merry?
shalls
427Flu: I, any thing that may beget the childe of laughter.
428Cast: Truth I have a prettie
sportive conceit new crept into
429my braine, will moove excellent mirth.
430Pio: Let's ha't, let's ha't, and where
shall the
sceane of mirth (lie?
431Cast. At
signior
Candidoes hou
se, the patient man; nay the
432mon
strous patient man; they
say his bloud is immoveable, that
433he haz taken all patience
from a man, and all con
stancie
from
435Flu: That makes
so many whores nowadaies.
436Cast: I, and
so many knaves too.
438Cast: To conclude, the report goes, hee's
so milde,
so a
ffa
- 439ble,
so
su
ffering, that nothing indeede can move him: now do
440but thinke what
sport it will be to make this fellow (the mirror
441of patience) as angry, as vext, and as madde as an Engli
sh cuc
- 443Flu. O, t'were admirable mirth, that: but how wilt be done
445Cast: Let me alone, I have a tricke, a conceit, a thing, a de
- 446vi
se will
sting him yfaith, if he have but a thimble full of blood
447in's belly, or a
spleene not
so bigge as a taverne token.
448Pio: Thou
stirre him? thou moove him? thou anger him?
449alas, I know his approoved temper: thou vex him
? why hee
450haz a patience above mans iniuries: thou mai
st sooner rai
se a
spleene
The converted Curtezan.
451spleene in an Angell, than rough humour in him: why ile give
452you in
stance for it. This wonderfully temperd
signior
Candido 453vpon a time invited home to his hou
se certaine Neapolitane
454lords of curious ta
ste, and no meane pallats, conjuring his wife
455of all loves, to prepare cheere
fitting for
such honourable tren
- 456cher-men. She (ju
st of a womans nature, covetous to try the
457vttermo
st of vexation, and thinking at la
st to get the
starte of
458his humour,) willingly negle
cted the preparation, and became
459vnfurni
sht, not onely of daintie, but of ordinarie di
shes. He (ac
- 460cording to the mildene
sse of his brea
st,) entertained the lords,
461and with courtly di
scour
se beguiled the time (as much as a Cit
- 462tizen might do:) To conclude, they were hungry lordes, for
463there came no meate in; their
stomacks were plainely gulld,
464and their teeth deluded, and (if anger could have
seizd a man,)
465there was matter enough yfaith to vexe any Citizen in the
466world, if he were not too much made a foole by his wife.
467Flu: I, ile
sweare for't: sfoote, had it beene my ca
se, I
should
468ha plaide mad trickes with my wife and family:
fir
st I would
469ha
spitted the men,
stewd the maides, and bak't the mi
stre
sse,
470and
so
served them in.
471Pio: Why t'would ha tempted any blood but his,
472And thou to vexe him
? thou to anger him
473With
some poore
shallow je
st? 474Cast: Sblood
signior
Pioratto, (you that di
sparage my con
- 475ceit,) ile wage a hundred duckats vppon the head on't, that it
476mooves him,
frets him, and galles him.
477Pio: Done, tis a lay, ioyne golls on't: witnes
signior
Fluello.
478Cast: Witnes, tis done:
479Come, follow me; the hou
se is not farre o
ff,
480Ile thru
st him
from his humour, vex his brea
st,
481And win a hundred duckats by one je
st.
Exeunt. 482Enter Candidoes wife, George, and two prentices 484Wife Come, you put vp your wares in good order heere, do
485you not thinke you? one peece ca
st this way, another that way,
486you had neede have a patient ma
ster indeede.
George
The converted Curtezan.
487George I, ile be
sworne, for we have a cur
st mi
stris.
488Wife You mumble, do you mumble
? I would your mai
ster
489or I could be a note more angry
: for two patient folkes in a
490hou
se,
spoile all the
servants that ever
shall come vnder them.
4911 Prentise You patient! I,
so is the divell when he is horne
493Enter Castruchio, Fluello, and Pioratto. 494All three Gentlemen, what do you lacke? what i
st you buy?
495See
fine hollands,
fine cambrickes,
fine lawnes.
496George What i
st you lacke?
4972 Pren. What i
st you buy
? 498Cast. Wheres
signior
Candido thy ma
ster?
499George Faith
signior hees a little negotiated, hee'le appeare (pre
sently.
500Cast. Fellow, lets
see a lawne, a choi
se one
sirra.
501George The be
st in all
Millan Gentlemen, and this is the
502peece. I can
fit you Gentlemen with
fine callicoes too for dub
- 503lets, the onely
sweete fa
shion now, mo
st delicate and courtly, a
504meeke gentle callico, cut vpon two double a
ffable ta
ffataes, ah,
505mo
st neate, feate, and vnmatchable.
506Flu. A notable-voluble tongde villaine.
507Pio. I warrant this fellow was never begot without much
509Cast. What, and is this
she
sai
st thou?
510George I, and the pure
st she that ever you
fingerd
since you
511were a gentleman: looke how even
she is, look how cleane
she
512is, ha, as even as the browe of
Cinthia, and as cleane as your
sons
513and heires when they ha
spent all.
514Cast. Puh, thou talk
st, pox on't tis rough.
515George How? is
she rough? but if you bid pox on't
sir, t'will
516take away the roughnes pre
sently.
517Flu. Ha
signior; haz he
fitted your French cur
se
? 518GeorgeLooke you Gentleman, heeres another, compare
519them I pray,
compara Virgilium cum Homero, compare virgins
521Cast. Puh, I ha
seene better, and as you terme them, evener
George
CVRTIZAN.
523Geo. You may
see further for your minde, but tru
st me
524you
shall not
finde better for your bodie.
Enter Candido. 525Cast. O heere he comes, lets make as tho we pa
sse:
526Come, come, weele try in
some other
shop.
527Can. How now? what's the matter?
528Geo. The gentlemen
find fault with this lawne, fall out
529with it, and without a cau
se too.
531And that makes you to let em pa
sse away,
532Ah, may
I craue a word with you gentlemen?
534Cast. Makes the better for the ie
st.
535Can. I pray come neare, y'are very welcome gallants,
536Pray pardon my mans rudenes, for
I feare me
537H'as talkt aboue a prenti
se with you, ---- Lawnes
! 538Looke you kind gentlemen, -- this! no
: -- I this:
539Take this vpon my hone
st-dealing faith,
540To be a true weaue, not too hard, nor
slack,
541But euen as farre
from fal
shood, as
from blacke.
542Cast. Well, how doe you rate it?
543Can. Very con
scionable, 18. a yard.
544Cast. That's too deare: how many yards does the whole
545piece containe thinke you?
546Cand. Why
some 17. yardes I thinke, or there abouts:
547How much would
serue your tutne,
I pray?
548Cast. Why let me
see, -- would it were better too.
549Cand. Truth, tis the be
st in
Millan at few words.
550Cast. Well: let me haue then - a whole penny-worth.
551Cand. Ha, ha, y'are a merrie gentleman,
552Cast. A pennorth
I say.
554Cast. Of lawne?
I of lawne, a pennorth, sblood doo
st not
555heare? a whole pennorth, are you deafe?
556Cand. Deafe? no
Syr: but I mu
st tell you,
557Our wares do
seldome meete
such cu
stomers.
558Cast. Nay, and you and your lawnes bee
so
squemi
sh,
560Cand. Pray
stay, a word, pray Signior for what purpo
se
C Cast.
THE CONVERTED
562Cast. Sblood, whats that to you?
Ile haue a penny-worth.
563Can. A penny-worth! why you
shall:
Ile
serue you pre
-(
sently.
5642. Pren. Sfoot, a penny-worth mi
stris!
565Mist. A penny-worth
! call you the
se gentlemen?
566Cast. No, no, not there.
567Can. What then kinde gentleemen, what at this corner (heere?
568Cast. No nor there neither
: 569Ile haue it iu
st in the middle, or el
se not.
570Can. Iu
st in the middle
:- ha - you
shall too: what?
571Haue you a
single pennie?
572Cast. Yes, heeres one.
Can. Lend it me
I pray.
573Flu. An exlent followed ie
st.
574Wife. What will he
spoile the lawne now
? 575Can. Patience good wife.
576Wife. I, that patience makes a foole of you: Gentlemen,
577you might ha found found
some other Cittizen to haue
578made a kinde gull on, be
sides my husband.
579Can. Pray Gentlemen take her to be a woman,
580Do not regard her language.----O kinde
soule:
581Such words will driue away my cu
stomers.
582Wif Cu
stomers with a murren: call you the
se cu
stomers?
583Can. Patience, good wife.
Wife. Pax a your patience.
584Geor. Sfoot mi
stri
sse, I warrant the
se are
some cheating
586Can. Looke you Gentlemen, theres your ware, I thanke
587you, I haue your mony: heere, pray know my
shop, let me (haue your cu
stome.
588Wife. Cu
stome puoth a.
589Can. Let me take more of your mony.
590Wife. You had neede
so.
591Pio. Harke in thine eare, tha'
st lo
st a hundred duckets.
592Cast. Well, well,
I know't: i
st po
ssible that
Homo 593Should be nor man, nor woman: not once mou'd:
594No not at
such an iniurie, not at all!
595Sure hees a pigeon, for he haz no gall.
596Ful Come, come, y'are angry tho you
smother it
: 597Y'are vext yfaith,- confe
sse.
Can. Why Gentlemen,
598Should you conceit me to be vext or mou'd?
599He has my ware, I haue his money fort,
600And thats no Argument
I am angry
: no,
The
CVRTIZAN
601The be
st Logitian can not proue me
so.
602Flu. oh, but the hatefull name of a pennyworth of lawne,
603And then cut out ith middle of the peece:
604Pah,
I gue
sse it by my
selfe, twould moue a Lambe
605Were he a Lynnen-draper - twould ifaith.
606Can. Well, giue me leaue to an
swere you for that,
607We are
set here to plea
se all cu
stomers,
608Their humours and their fancies: -o
ffend none:
609We get by many, if we lee
se by one.
610May be his minde
stood to no more then that,
611A penworth
serues him, and mong
st trades tis (found.
612Deny a pennorth, it may cro
sse a pound.
613Oh, he that meanes to thriue with patient eye,
614Mu
st plea
se the diuell, if he come to buy.
615Flu. O wondrous man, patient boue wrong or wo,
616How ble
st were men, if women could be
so.
617Can. And to expre
sse how well my bre
st is plea
sde,
618And
satis
fied in all: -
George,
fill a beaker.
Exit George. 619Ile drinke vnto that Gentleman, who lately
620Be
stowed his mony with me.
Wife. Gods my life,
621We
shall haue all our gaines drunke out in beakers,
622To make amends for pennyworths of lawne.
Enter Georg. 623Can. Here wife, begin you to the Gentleman.
624Wife. I begin to him.
Can. George,
filt vp againe:
625Twas my fault, my hand
shooke.
Exit George. 626Pio. How
strangely this doth
showe?
627A patient man linkt with a wa
spi
sh shrowe.
628Flu. A
siluer and gilt beaker: I haue a tricke
629To worke vpon that beaker,
sure twil
fret him,
630It cannot choo
se but vexe him,
Seig. C
astruchio,
631In pittie to thee,
I haue a cōceit,
632Wil
saue thy 100. Duckets yet, twil doot,
633And worke him to impatience.
634Cast. Sweet
Fluello, I
should be bountiful to that conceit.
635Flu. Well tis enough.
Enter George. 636Can. Here Gentleman to you,
637I wi
sh your cu
stome, yare exceeding welcome.
638Cast. I pledge you
Seig. C
andido, heere you, that mu
st re
- 639ceiue a 100. Duccats.
C 2
Pio.
THE CONVERTED
640Pior. Ile pledge them deepe yfaith
Castruchio,
642Flu. Come play't o
ff: to me,
I am your last man.
643Cand. George,
supply the cup.
644Flu. So,
so, good hone
st George,
645Heere Signior
Candido, all this to you.
646Cand. Oh you mu
st pardon me,
I v
se it not.
647Flu. Will you not pledge me then?
648Cand. Yes, but not that:
649Great loue is
showne in little.
650Flu. Blurt on your
sentences, - Sfoot you
shall pledge
652Cand. Indeede I
shall not.
653Flu. Not pledge mee? Sblood Ile carry away the beaker
655Cand. The beaker!
Oh! that at your plea
sure
sir.
656Flu. Now by this drinke
I will.
657Cast. Pledge him, hee'le do't el
se.
658Ful. So,
I ha done you right, on my thumbenaile,
659What will you pledge me now?
660Cand. You know me
sir,
I am not of that
sin.
661Flu. Why then farewellr
662Ile beare away the beaker by this light.
663Cand. Thats as you plea
se, tis very good.
664Flu. Nay it doth plea
se me, and as you
say tis a very good (one:
665Farewell Signior
Candido.
666Pio. Farewell
Candido.
667Cand. Y'are welcome gentlemen.
668Cast. Heart not mou'd yet?
669I thinke his patience is aboue your wit.
Exeunt. 670Geor. I tolde you before mi
stre
sse, they were all cheaters.
671Wife Why foole, why husband, why mad-man,
I hope
672you will not let 'em
sneake away
so with a
siluer and gilt
673beaker, the be
st in the hou
se too: goe fellowes make hue and
675Cand. Pray let your tongue be
still, all will be well:
676Come hither
George, hie to the Con
stable,
677And in all calme order wi
sh him to attach them:
Make
CVRTIZAN.
678Make no great
stirre, becau
se they're gentlemen,
679And a thing partly done in meriment.
680Tis but a
size aboue a ie
st thou know
st,
681Therefore pur
sue it mildly, goe be gone,
682The Con
stabl's hard by, bring him along, - make ha
st a
-(gaine.
683Wife. O y'are a goodly patient Woodcocke, are you not
685See what your patiēce comes too: euery one
sadles you, and
686rides you, youle be
shortly the common
stone-hor
se of
687Myllan: a womans well holp't vp with
such a meacocke, I
688had rather haue a husband that would
swaddle me thrice a
689day, then
such a one, that will be guld twice in halfe an how
- 690er. Oh I could burne all the wares in my
shop for anger.
691Cand. Pray weare a peacefull temper, be my wife,
692That is, be patient
: for a wife and husband
693Share but one
soule between them: this being knowne
694Why
should not one
soule then agree in one?
Exit. 695Wife Hang your agreements: but if my beaker be gone.
696Enter Castruchio, Fluello, Pioratto, and George. 697Cand. Oh, here they come.
698Geor. The Con
stable
syr, let 'em come along with me,
699becau
se there
should be no wondring, he
staies at dore.
700Cast. Con
stable goodman
Abram.
701Flu. Now
signior
Candido, Sblood why doe you attach (vs?
702Cast. Sheart! attach vs
! 703Cand. Nay
sweare not gallants,
704Your oathes may moue your
soules, but not moue me,
705You haue a
siluer beaker of my wiues.
706Elu. You
say not true: tis gilt.
707Cand. Then you
say true.
708And being gilt, the guilt lyes more on you.
709Cast. I hope y'are not angry
syr.
710Cand. Then you hope right, for I am not angry.
711Pio. No, but a little mou'de.
712Cand. I mou'de! twas you were mou'd, you were brought (hither.
713Cast But you (out of your anger & impatience,)
714Cau
s'd vs to be attacht.
715Cand. Nay you mi
splace it.
C 3 Out
THE CONVERTED
716Out of my quiet
su
fferance I did that,
717And not of any wrath, had I
showne anger,
718I should haue then pur
sude you with the lawe,
719And hunted you to
shame, as many worldlings
720Doe build their anger vpon feebler groundes;
721The mores the pitty, many loo
se their liues
722For
scarce
so much coyne as will hide their palme,
723Which is mo
st cruell, tho
se haue vexed
spirits
724That pur
sue liues: in this opinion re
st,
725The lo
sse of Millions could not moue my bre
st.
726Flu. Thou art a ble
st man, and with peace doe
st deale,
727Such a meeke
spirit can ble
sse a common weale.
728Cand. Gentlemen, now tis vpon eating time,
729Pray part not hence, but dyne with me today.
730Cast. I neuer heard a courtier yet
say nay
731To
such a motion.
Ile not be the
fir
st.
734Cand. The con
stable
shall beare you company,
735George call him in, let the world
say what it can,
736Nothing can driue me
from a patient man.
(Exeunt. 737Enter Roger with a stoole, cushin, looking-glasse and chafing-dish. 738 Those being set downe, he pulls out of his pocket, a violl with 739 white cullor in it. And 2. boxes, one with white, another red 740 painting, he places all things in order & a candle by thē, singing 741 with the ends of old Ballads as he does it. At last Bella- 742 front (as he rubs his cheeke with the cullors, whistles with- 745Bell. What are you playing the roague about?
746Ro. About you for
sooth:
I'me drawing vp a hole in your
748Bell. Is my gla
sse there? and my boxes of complexion?
749Ro. Yes for
sooth: your boxes of complexion are
750here
I thinke: yes tis here: her's your two complexi
- 751ons, and if I had all the foure complexions,
I should
752nere
set a good face vpont,
some men
I see are borne vn
- 753der hard-fauourd plānets as well as women: zounds
I looke
worse
CVRTIZAN.
754wor
se now then
I did before, & it makes her face gli
ster mo
st 755damnably, theres knauery in dawbing I hold my life, or el
se
756this is onely female
Pomatum.
757 Enter Bellafronte not full-ready, without a gowne, shee sits 758downe, with her bodkin curles her haire, cullers her lips. 759Bell. Wheres my ru
ffe and poker you block-head
? 760Ro. Your ru
ffe, and your poker, are ingendring together
761vpon the cup-bord of the Court, or the Court-cup-bord.
762Bel. Fetch e'm: Is the poxe in your hammes, you can goe
764Ro. Wood the pox were in your
fingers, vnle
sse you could
765leaue
flinging; catch.
Exit. 766Bell. Ile catch you, you dog by and by
: do you grumble?
767 Cupid
is a God, as naked as my naile She sings. 768 Ile whip him with a rod, if he my true loue faile.
769Ro. Thers your ru
ffe,
shall I poke it?
770Bel. Yes hone
st Ro no
stay
: pry thee good boy, hold here,
771 Downe, downe, downe, down, I fall downe and arise, I neuer 773Ro. Troth M. then leaue the trade if you
shall neuer ri
se.
774Bell. What trade? good-man
Abram.
775Ro. Why that, of down and ari
se, or the falling trade.
776Bell. Ile fall with you by and by.
777Ro. If you doe,
I know who
shall
smart fort:
778Troth Mi
stris, what do
I looke like now?
779Bell. Like as you are: a panderly Sixpenny Ra
scall.
780Ro. I may thanke you for that: no faith,
I looke like an old
Hold the Candle before the diuell
.
782Bell. Vds life,
Ile
sticke my knife in your Guts and you
783prate to me
so:
Whaat?
She sings. 784 Well met, pug, the pearle of beautie:
umh, umh. 785 How now sir knaue you forget your dutie, umh, umh. 786 Marry muffe Sir, are you growne so daintie;
fa, la, la, &c. 787 Is it you Sir?
the worst of twentie, fa la, la, leera la. 788Pox on you, how doe
st thou hold my gla
sse?
789Ro. Why, as
I hold your doore: with my
fingers.
790Bell. Nay pray thee
sweet hony
Ro. hold vp hand
somely
791Sing prety Wantons warble, &c. We
shall ha gue
sts today.
I lay
THE CONVERTED
792I lay my little meadenhead, my no
se itches
so.
793Ro. I said
so too la
st night, when our Fleas twing'd me.
794Bell. So Poke my ru
ffe now, my gowne. my gown, haue (I my fall?
795Wher's my fall
Roger?
One knocks. 796Ro. Your fall for
sooth is behind.
797Bell. Gods my pittikins,
some foole or other knocks.
798Ro. Shall
I open to the foole mi
stre
sse?
799Bell. And all the
se bables lying thus? away with it quick
- 800ly, I, I, knock & be dambde, who
soeuer you be. So: giue the
801fre
sh Salmon lyne now, let him come a
shoare, hee
shall
802serue for my breakefa
st, tho he goe again
st my
stomack.
803Roger fetches in Fluello, Castruchio, and Pioratto. 805Cast. How does my
sweete acquaintance?
806Pio. Saue thee little Marmo
set: how doe
st thou good pret
- 808Bell. Well, Godamercy good pretty ra
scall.
809Flu. Roger some light
I pry thee.
810Ro. You
shall Signior, for we that liue here in this vale
811of mi
sery, are as darke as hell.
Exit. for a candle. 812Cast. Good Tabacco,
Fluello?
813Flu. Smell?
Enter Roger. 814Pio. It may be tickling geere, for it playes with my no
se (already.
815Ro. Her's another light Angell, Signior.
816Bel. What you pyed curtal, whats that you are neighing?
817Ro. I say God
send vs the light of heauen, or
some more
819Bell. Goe fetch
some wyne, and drinke halfe of it.
820Ro. I mu
st fetch
some wyne gentlemen and drinke halfe (of it.
822Cast. No let me
send pry thee.
823Flu. Hold you canker worme.
824Ro. You
shall
send both, if you plea
se Signiors.
825Pio. Stay, whats be
st to drinke a mornings?
826Ro. Hypocras
sir, for my mi
stres, if
I fetch it, is mo
st deare (to her:
827Flu Hypocras! ther then, her's a te
ston for you, you
snake
828Ro. Right
syr, her's jjj. s. vi. d. for a pottle & a manchet.
Fx. Heer's
CVRTIZAN.
829Cast. Her's mo
st Herculian
Tobacco, ha
some acquaintāce?
830Bel. Fah, not
I, makes your breath
stinke, like the pi
sse of a
831Foxe. Acquaintance, where
supt you la
st night?
832Cast. At a place
sweete acquaintance where your health
833danc'de the
Canaries y'faith: you
should ha ben there.
834Bell. I there among your Punkes, marry fah, hang-em:
835scorn't: will you neuer leaue
sucking of egs in other folkes
837Cast. Why in good troth, if youle tru
st me acquaintance,
838there was not one hen at the board, aske
Fluello.
839Flu. No faith Coz; none but
Cocks,
signior
Malauella 840drunke to thee.
Bel. O, a pure beagle; that hor
se-leach there?
841Flu. And the knight, S.
Oliuer Lollio,
swore he wold be
stow
842a ta
ffata petticoate on thee, but to breake his fa
st with thee.
843Bel. With me! Ile choake him then, hang him Mole-cat
- 844cher, its the dreaming
st snotty-no
se.
845Pio. Well, many tooke that
Lollio for a foole, but he's a
846subtile foole.
Bel. I, and he has fellowes: of all
filthy
847dry-
fisted knights,
I cannot abide that he
should touch me.
848Cast. Why wench, is he
scabbed?
849Bel. Hang him, heele not liue to bee
so hone
st, nor to the
850credite to haue
scabbes about him, his betters haue em: but
851I hate to weare out any of his cour
se knight-hood, becau
se
852hee's made like an Aldermans night-gowne, fac
st all with
853conny before, and within nothing but Foxe: this
sweete
854Oliuer, will eate Mutton till he be ready to bur
st, but the
855leane iawde-
slaue wil not pay for the
scraping of his trēcher.
856Pio. Plague him,
set him beneath the
salt, and let him not
857touch a bit, till euery one has had his full cut.
858Flu. Sordello, the Gentleman-V
sher came into vs too,
859marry twas in our chee
se, for he had beene to borrow mony
860for his Lord, of a Citizen.
861Cast. What an a
sse is that Lord, to borrow money of a
863Bell. Nay, Gods my pitty, what an a
sse is that Citizen to
865 Enter Matheo and Hypolito, who saluting the Com-, 866pany, as a stranger walkes off. Roger comes in sadly behind them. D with
THE CONVERTED
867with a potle-pot, and stands aloofe off. 868Matheo. Saue you Gallants,
signior
Fluello exceedingly
869well met, as
I may
say.
870Flu. Signior
Matheo, exceedingly well met too, as I may
872Ma. And how fares my little prettie Mi
stris?
873Bell. Eene as my little pretie
seruant;
sees three court di
- 874shes before her, and not one good bit in them: how now?
875why the diuell
stand
st thou
so? Art in a trance?
876Ro. Yes for
sooth.
Bell Why do
st not
fil out their wine?
877Ro. For
sooth tis
fild out already: all the wine that the
sig
- 878nior has be
stowde vpon you is ca
st away, a Porter ranne a
879litle at me, and
so fac'
st me downe that
I had not a drop.
880Bel. Ime accurs'd to let
such a withered Artichocke faced
- 881Ra
scall grow vnder my no
se: now you looke like an old he
882cat, going to the gallowes: Ile be hangde if he ha not put vp
883the mony to cony-catch vs all.
884Ro. No truely for
sooth, tis not put vp yet.
885Bell. How many Gentlemen ha
st thou
serued thus?
886Ro. None but
fiue hundred, be
sides prentices and
seruing
-(men.
887Bel. Doe
st thinke
Ile pocket it vp at thy hands?
888Ro. Yes for
sooth,
I feare you will pocket it vp.
889Bel Fye, fye cut my lace good
seruant,
I shall ha the mo
- 890ther pre
sently,
Im'e
so vext at this hor
se-plumme.
891Flu. Plague, not for a
scald pottle of wine.
892Ma. Nay,
sweete
Bellafronte, for a little Pigs wa
sh.
893Cast. Here
Roger, fetch more, a mi
schance. Yfaith Ac
- 895Bell Out of my
sight, thou vngodly puritanical creature.
896Ro. For the tother pottle? yes for
sooth.
Exit. 897Bell. Spill that too: what
Gentleman is that
seruant your
899Ma. Gods
so a
stoole, a
stoole, if you loue me Mi
stris en
- 900tertaine this Gentleman re
spe
ctiuely, & bid him welcome.
901Bell. Hees very welcome, pray Sir
sit.
903Flu. Count
Hypolito, i
st not
? cry you mercie
signior, you
904walke here all this while, and we not heed you? let me be
- stow
CVRTIZAN.
905stowa
stoole vpō you be
seech you, you are a
stranger here,
906we know the fa
shions ath hou
se.
907Cast. Plea
se you be heere my Lord.
Tabacco. 908Hipo. No good
Castruchio.
909Flu. You haue abandoned the Court
I see my lord
since
910the death of your mi
stre
sse, well
she was a delicate piece-be
- 911seech you
sweete, come let vs
serue vnder the cullors of your
912acquaintance
stil: for all that, plea
se you to meete here at the
913lodging of my cuz,
I shall be
stow a banquet vpon you.
914Hipo. I neuer can de
serue this kindne
sse
syr.
915What may this Lady be, whom you call cuz?
916Flu. Faith
syr a poore gentlewoman, of pa
ssing good ca
- 917riage, one that has
some
sutes in law, and lyes here in an At
- 920Flu. Hah, as all your punks are, a captens wife, or
so?
921neuer
saw her before, my Lord.
922Hipo. Neuer tru
st me a goodly creature.
923Flu. By gad when you know her as we do, youle
swear
she is
924the prettie
st, kinde
st,
sweete
st, mo
st bewitching hone
st ape
925vnder the pole. A skin, your
satten is not more
soft, nor
927Hipo. Belike then
shees
some
sale curtizan.
928Flu. Troth as all your be
st faces are, a good wench.
929Hipo. Great pitty that
shees a good wench.
930Ma. Thou
shalt haue it ifaith mi
stre
sse
: how now
signiors?
931what? whi
spering? did not
I lay a wager I
should take you
932within
seuen daies in a hou
se of vanity.
933Hipo. You did, and I be
shrew your heart, you haue won.
934Ma. How do you like my mi
stre
sse?
935Hipo. Well, for
such a mi
stre
sse: better, if your mi
stre
sse
937I mu
st breake manners gentlemen, fare you well.
938Ma. Sfoote you
shall not leaue vs.
939Bell. The gentleman likes not the ta
st of our company,
940Omni. Be
seech you
stay.
941Hipo. Tru
st me my a
ffaires becken for me, pardon me.
942Ma. Will you call for me halfe an houre hence here?
D 2 Hipe.
THE CONVERTED
944Ma. Perhaps
? fah!
I know you can,
sweare to me you wil.
945Hip. Since you will pre
sse me on my word,
I will.
Exit. 946Bell. What
sullen pi
cture is this
seruant?
947Ma. Its Count
Hipolito, the braue Count.
948Pio. As gallant a
spirit, as any in
Millan you
sweete (
Iewe,
949Flu. Oh hees a mo
st e
ssentiall gentleman, coz.
950Cast. Did you neuer heare of Count
Hipolitos ac
- 952Bell. Marymu
ffe a your counts, & be no more life in 'em.
953Ma. Hees
so malcontent!
sirra
Bellafronte, & you be ho
- 954ne
st gallants, lets
sup together, and haue the count with vs:
955thou
shalt
sit at the vpper end puncke.
956Bell. Puncke you
sowcde gurnet?
957Ma. Kings truce: come, ile be
stow the
supper to haue
959Cast. He betraies his youth too gro
sly to that tyrant me
-(lancholy.
960Ma. All this is for a woman.
961Bell. A woman
! some whore! what
sweet
Iewell i
st?
962Pio. Wod
she heard you.
Flu. Troth
so wud
I.
963Cast. And
I by heauen.
964Bell. Nay good
seruant, what woman?
Ma. Pah.
965Bell. Pry thee tell me, abu
sse and tell me:
I warrant hees
966an hone
st fellowe, if hee take on thus for a wench: good
968Ma. Byth Lord
I will not, mu
st not, faith mi
stre
sse: i
st a
969match
sirs? this night, at
Th'antilop:, for thers be
st wine, and (good boyes.
970Omni. Its done at Th'antilop.
971Bell. I cannot be there tonight.
972Ma. Cannot? bith lord you
shall.
973Bell. By the Lady I will not:
shaall
! 974Flu. Why then put it o
ff till
fryday: wut come then cuz?
975Bell. Well.
Enter Roger. 976Ma. Y'are the wa
spi
she
st Ape.
Roger, put your mi
stris in
977minde, your scurny mi
stris heere, to
sup with vs on
friday
978next: y'are be
st come like a mad woman, without a band in
979your wa
stcoate, & the lynings of your kirtle outward, like
980euery common hackny that
steals out at the back gate of her
981sweet knights lodging
Bell.
CVRTIZAN.
982Bell. Goe, goe, hang your
selfe.
Cast. Its dinner time
Matheo, (
shalls hence
? 983Omni. Yes, yes, farewell wench.
Exeunt. 984Bell. Farewell boyes:
Roger what wine
sent they for?
985Ro. Ba
stard wine, for if it had bin truly begotten, it wud
986not ha bin a
shamde to come in, her's vi.s. to pay for nur
sing
988Bell. A company of rookes! O good
sweete
Roger, run to
989the Poulters and buy me
some
fine Larkes.
991Bell. Yes faith a couple, if they be not deare.
992Ro. Ile buy but one, theres one already here.
Exit. 994Hipo. Is the gentleman (my
friend) departed mi
stre
sse?
995Bell. His backe is but new-turnd
syr.
996Hipo. Fare you well.
Bell. I can dire
ct you to him.
998Bell. If you plea
sey heele not be ab
sent long.
999Hipo. I care not much.
1000Bell. Pray
sit for
sooth.
Hipo. I'me hot.
1001If I may v
se your roome, ile rather walke.
1002Bell. At your be
st plea
sure-whew-
some rubbers there.
1003Hipo. Indeed ile none: -Indeed
I will not: thanks.
1004Pretty-
fine-lodging. I perceiue my
friend
1005Is old in your acquaintance.
Bell. Troth
syr, he comes
1006As other gentlemen, to
spend
spare howers;
1007If your
selfe like our roofe (
such as it is)
1008Your owne acquaintance may be as old as his.
1009Hipo. Say
I did like; what welcome
should
I find
? 1010Bell. Such as my pre
sent fortunes can a
fford.
1011Hipo. But would you let me play
Mathaeos part?
1013Hipo. Why imbrace you: dally with you, ki
sse:
1014Faith tell me, will you leaue him, and loue me?
1015Bell. I am in bondes to no man
syr.
Hipo. Why then,
1016Y'are
free for any man: if any, me.
1017But
I mu
st tell you Lady, were you mine,
1018You
should be all mine: I could brooke no
sharers,
1019I should be couetous, and
sweepe vp all.
D 3 I would
THE CONVERTED
1020I
should be plea
sures v
surer: faith I
should.
1022Hipo. Why
sigh you Lady? may I knowe?
1023Bell. T'has neuer bin my fortune yet to
single
1024Out that one man, who
se loue could fellow mine.
1025As
I haue euer wi
sht it: ô my Stars
! 1026Had
I but met with one kind gentleman,
1027That would haue purchacde
sin alone, to him
selfe,
1028For his owne priuate v
se, although
scarce proper:
1029Indi
fferent han
some: meetly legd and thyed:
1030And my allowance rea
sonable-yfaith,
1031According to my body-by my troth,
1032I would haue bin as true vnto his plea
sures,
1033Yea, and as loyall to his afternoones,
1034As euer a poore gentlewoman could be.
1035Hipo. This were well now, to one but newly
fledg'd,
1036And
scarce a day old in this
suttle world:
1037Twere prettie Art, good bird-lime, cunning net:
1038But come, come, faith-confe
sse: how many men
1039Haue drunke this
selfe-
same prote
station,
1040From that red tycing lip?
1041Bell. Indeede not any.
1042Hipo. Indeede? and blu
sh not!
1043Bell. No, in truth not any.
1044Hipo. Indeed
! in truth!-how warily you
sweare?
1045Tis well: if ill it be not: yet had
I 1046The ru
ffian in me, and were drawne before you
1047But in light cullors,
I doe know indeed,
1048You would not
sweare indeede, But thunder oathes
1049That
should
shake heauen, drowne the harmonious
spheres,
1050And pierce a
soule (that lou'd her makers honour)
1051With horror and amazement.
1052Bell. Shall
I sweare?
1053Wil you belieue me then?
1054Hipn. Wor
st then of all,
1055Our
sins by cu
stome,
seeme (at la
st) but
small.
1056Were
I but o're your thre
shold, a nex man,
1057And after him a next, and then a fourth,
Should
CVRTIZAN.
1058Should haue this golden hooke, and la
sciuious baite,
1059Throwne out to the full length, why let me tell you:
1060I ha
seene letters
sent
from that white hand,
1061Tuning
such mu
sicke to
Matheos eare.
1062Bell. Mathaeo! thats true, but if youle beleeue
1063My hone
st tongue, my eyes no
sooner met you,
1064But they conueid and lead you to my heart.
1065Hipo. Oh, you cannot faine with me, why,
I know Lady,
1066This is the common fa
shion of you all,
1067To hooke in a kind gentleman, and then
1068Abu
se his coyne, conueying it to your louer,
1069And in the end you
shew him a french trick,
1070And
so you leaue him, that a coach may run
1071Betweene his legs for bredth.
1073Not I: therein ile proue an hone
st whore,
1074In being true to one, and to no more.
1075Hipo. If any be di
spo
sde to tru
st your oath,
1076Let him: ile not be he, I know you feine
1077All that you
speake, I: for a mingled harlot,
1078Is true in nothing but in being fal
se.
1079What
! shall
I teach you how to loath your
selfe?
1080And mildly too
: not without
sen
se or rea
son.
1081Bell. I am content, I would faine loath my
selfe,
1083Hipo. Then if your gratious blood be not all wa
sted,
1084I
shall a
ssay to doo't.
1085Lend me your
silence, and attention,- you haue no
soule,
1086That makes you wey
so light: heauens trea
sure bought it,
1087And halfe a crowne hath
sold it: for your body
1088Its like the common
shoare, that
still receiues
1089All the townes
filth.
The
sin of many men
1090Tis within you, and thus much
I suppo
se,
1091That if all your committers
stood in ranke,
1092Theide make a lane, (in which your
shame might dwell)
1093And with their
spaces reach
from hence to hell.
1094Nay,
shall
I vrge it more, there has bene knowne,
As
THE CONVERTED
1095As many by one harlot, maym'd and di
smembred,
1096As would ha
stuft an Ho
spitall: this
I might
1097Apply to you, and perhaps doe you right:
1098O y'are as ba
se as any bea
st that beares,
1099Your body is ee'ne hirde, and
so are theirs.
1100For gold and
sparkling iewels, (if he can)
1101Youle let a
Iewe get you with chri
stian:
1102Be he a Moore, a Tartar, tho his face
1103Looke vglier then a dead mans
scull,
1104Could the diuel put on a humane
shape,
1105If his pur
se
shake out crownes, vp then he gets,
1106Whores will be rid to hell with golden bits:
1107So that y'are crueller then Turkes, for they
1108Sell Chri
stians onely, you
sell your
selues away.
1109Why tho
se that loue you, hate you
: and will terme you
1110Lickeri
sh damnation: wi
sh them
selues halfe
sunke
1111After the
sin is laid out; and ee'ne cur
se
1112Their
fruitle
sse riot, (for what one begets
1113Another poi
sons) lu
st and murder hit,
1114A tree being often
shooke, what
fruit can knit?
1116Hip. I can vexe you more;
1117A harlot is like
Dunkirke, true to none,
1118Swallowes both Engli
sh, Spani
sh, ful
some Dutch,
1119Blacke-doord Italian, la
st of all the
French,
1120And he
sticks to you faith
: giues you your diet,
1121Brings you acquainted,
fir
st with mon
sier Do
ctor,
1122And then you know what followes.
1124Ranke,
stinking, and mo
st loath
some mi
sery.
1125Hip. Me thinks a toad is happier then a whore,
1126That with one poi
son
swells, with thou
sands more
1127The other
stocks her veines: harlot?
fie!
fie,
1128You are the mi
serable
st Creatures breathing,
1129The very
slaues of nature: marke me el
se,
1130You put on rich attires, others eyes weare them,
1131You eat, but to
supply your blood with
sin,
1132And this
strange cur
se ee'ne haunts you to your graues.
From
The conuerted Courtizan.
1133From fooles you get, and
spend it vpon
slaues
: 1134Like Beares and Apes, y'are bayted &
shew tricks
1135For money, but your Bawd the
sweetne
sse licks.
1136Indeed you are their Iourney-women, and do
1137All ba
se and damnd workes they li
st set you to:
1138So that you n'ere are rich; for doe but
shew me,
1139In pre
sent memory, or in ages pa
st,
1140The faire
st and mo
st famous Courtizan,
1141Who
se
fle
sh was dear'
st; that rai
sd the price of
sin,
1142And held it vp, to who
se intemperate bo
some,
1143Princes, Earles, Lords, the wor
st has bin a knight,
1144The mean'
st a Gentleman, haue o
ffred vp
1145Whole Hecatombs of
sighs, & raind in
showres
1146Handfuls of gold, yet for all this, at la
st 1147Di
sea
ses
suckt her marrow, then grew
so poore,
1148That
she has begd e'ene at a beggers doore.
1149And (wherin heau'n has a
finger) when this
Idoll,
1150From coa
st to coa
st, has leapt on forraine
shores,
1151And had more wor
ship, thē th'outlandi
sh whores,
1152When
seuerall nations haue gone ouer her,
1153When for each
seuerall City
she has
seene,
1154Her maidenhead has bin new, & bin
sold deare:
1155Did liue wel there, & might haue dide vnknowne
1156And vndefam'd, back comes
she to her owne,
1157And there both mi
serably liues and dyes,
1158Scornd euen of tho
se, that once ador'd her eyes,
1159As if her fatall-circled life thus ranne,
1160Her pride
should end there, where it
fir
st began.
1161What, do you weep, to heare your
story read?
1162Nay, if you
spoyle your cheeks, Ile read no more.
1163Bel. O yes, I pray proceed:
1164Indeed 'twill do me good to weep indeed.
1165Hip. To giue tho
se teares a reli
sh, this I adde,
1166Y'are like the Iewes,
scatterd, in no place certain,
1167Your daies are tedious, your houres burden
some:
1168And wer't not for full
suppers, midnight Reuels,
1169Dauncing, wine, ryotous meetings, which do drowne,
1170And bury quite in you all vertuous thoughts,
E And
The conuerted Courtizan.
1171And on your eye-lids hang
so heauily,
1172They haue no power to looke
so high as heauen,
1173Youde
sit and mu
se on nothing but de
spayre,
1174Cur
se that deuil
Lust, that
so burnes vp your blood,
1175And in ten thou
sand
shiuers breake your gla
sse
1176For his temptation. Say you ta
ste delight,
1177To haue a golden Gull
from rize to Set,
1178To meat you in his hote luxurious armes,
1179Yet your nights pay for all: I know you dreame
1180Of warrants, whips, & Beadles, and then
start
1181At a dores windy creake: thinke euery Weezle
1182To be a Con
stable: and euery Rat
1183A long tayld O
fficer: Are you now not
slaues?
1184Oh you haue damnation without plea
sure for it!
1185Such is the
state of Harlots. To conclude,
1186When you are old, and can well paynt no more,
1187You turne Bawd, and are then wor
se then before
: 1188Make v
se of this: farewell.
1189Bel. Oh, I pray
stay.
1190Hip. I
see
Matheo comes not: time hath bard me,
1191Would all the Harlots in the towne had heard me.
Exit. 1192Bel. Stay yet a little longer. no: quite gone!
1193Cur
st be that minute (for it was no more.
1194So
soone a mayd is chang'd into a Whore)
1195Wherein I
fir
st fell, be it for euer blacke;
1196Yet why
should
sweet
Hipolito shun mine eyes;
1197For who
se true loue I would becom pure-hone
st,
1198Hate the worlds mixtures, & the
smiles of gold:
1199Am I not fayre? Why
should he
flye me then?
1200Faire creatures are de
sir'd, not
scornd of men.
1201How many Gallants haue drunk healthes to me,
1202Out of their daggerd armes, & thought thē ble
st,
1203Enioying but mine eyes at prodigall fea
sts!
1204And does
Hipolito dete
st my loue?
1205Oh,
sure their heedle
sse lu
sts but
flattred me,
1206I am not plea
sing, beautifull nor young.
1207Hipolito hath
spyed
some vgly blemi
sh,
1208Eclip
sing all my beauties: I am foule:
Harlot!
The conuerted Courtizan.
1209Harlot! I, that's the
spot that taynts my
soule:
1210his weapon le
ft heere? O
fit in
strument,
1211To let forth all the poy
son of my
fle
sh!
1212Thy M. hates me, cau
se my bloud hath rang'd:
1213But whē tis forth, then heele beleeue Ime chāg'd.
1214Hip. Mad woman, what art doing?
Enter Hipo. 1216Or cleaue my bo
some on thy Rapiers poynt.
1217Yet doe not neyther; for thou then de
stroy
st 1218That which I loue thee for (thy vertues) here, here,
1219Th'art crueller, and kil
st me with di
sdayne:
1220To die
so,
sheds no bloud, yet tis wor
se payne.
ExitHipol. 1221Not
speake to me! not looke! not bid farewell!
1222Hated! this mu
st not be,
some meanes Ile try.
1223Would all Whores were as hone
st now, as I.
Exeunt. 1225Enter Candido, his wife, George, and two Prentices in the 1226shop: Fustigo enters, walking by. 1227Geor. See Gentlemen, what you lack? a
fine Holland,
1228a
fine Cambrick,
see what you buy.
12291. Pr. Holland for
shirts, Cambrick for bands, what i
st (you lack?
1230Fust. Sfoot, I lack em all, nay more, I lack money to buy
1231em
: let me
see, let me looke agen: ma
sse this is the
shop;
1232What Coz!
sweet Coz! how do
st ifayth,
since la
st night
1233after candlelight? we had good
sport ifayth, had we not?
1234and when
shals laugh agen?
1235Wi. When you will, Cozen.
1236Fust. Spoke like a kind Lacedemoniā: I
see yonders thy (husband.
1237Wi. I, ther's the
sweet youth, God ble
sse him.
1238Fust. And how i
st Cozen? & how? how i
st thou
squall?
1239Wi. Well, Cozen, how fare you?
1240Fust. How fare I? troth, for
sixpence a meale, wench, as
1241wel as heart can wi
sh, with Calues chaldrons and chitter
- 1242lings, be
sides I haue a
Punck after
supper, as good as a ro
-(
sted Apple.
1243Cand. Are you my wiues Cozen?
1244Fust. A am,
sir, what ha
st thou to do with that?
1245Cand. O, nothing but y'are welcome.
E 2 Fust. The
The conuerted Courtizan.
1246Fust. The
Deuils dung in thy teeth: Ile be welcom whe
- 1247ther thou wilt or no, I: What Ring's this Coz? very pretty
1248and fanta
sticall ifayth, lets
see it.
1249Wife. Puh! nay you wrench my
finger.
1250Fust. I ha
sworne Ile ha't, and I hope you wil not let my
1251othes be crackt in the ring, wil you? I hope
sir, you are not
1252mallicolly at this for all your great lookes: are you angry?
1253Cand. Angry? not I
sir, nay, if
she can part
1254So ea
sily with her Ring, tis with my heart.
1255Geo. Su
ffer this,
sir, and
su
ffer all, a whor
son Gull to --,
1256Can. Peace
George, whē
she has reapt what I haue
sowne,
1257Sheele
say, one grayne ta
stes better of her owne,
1258Then whole
sheaues gathered
from anothers land:
1259Wit's neuer good, til bought at a deare hand.
1260Geo. But in the meane time
she makes an A
sse of
some (body.
12612. Pren. See,
see,
see,
sir, as you turne your backe, they
1262do nothing but ki
sse.
1263Cand. No matter, let 'em: when I touch her lip,
1264I
shall not feele his ki
sses, no nor mi
sse
1265Any of her lips: no harme in ki
ssing is.
1266Looke to your bu
sine
sse, pray make vp your wares.
1267Fust. Troth Coz, and well remembred, I would thou
1268would
st giue mee
fiue yards of Lawne, to make my
Punke 1269some falling bands a the fa
shiō, three falling one vpō ano
- 1270ther: for thats the new editiō now:
she's out of linnen hor
- 1271ribly too, troth,
sha's neuer a good
smock to her back ney
- 1272ther, but one that has a great many patches in't, & that I'm
1273fain to weare my
selfe for want of
shift too: prithee put me
1274into hole
some napery, & be
stow
some clean commodities
1275vpō vs.
Wife. Reach me tho
se Cambricks & the Lawnes
1276hither.
Cand. What to doe, wife? to laui
sh out my goods
1278Fust. Foole! Sneales eate the foole, or Ile
so batter your
1279crowne, that it
shall
scarce go for
fiue
shillings.
12802. Pr. Do you heare
sir? y'are be
st be quiet, &
say a foole (tels you
so.
1281Fust. Nailes, I think
so, for thou tel
st me.
1282Can. Are you angry
sir, becau
se I namde the foole?
1283Tru
st me, you are not wi
se, in mine owne hou
se,
And
The conuerted Courtizan.
1284And to my face to play the Anticke thus:
1285If youle needs play the mad man, choo
se a
stage
1286Of le
sser compa
sse, where few eyes may note
1287Your a
ctions errour; but if
still you mi
sse,
1288As heere you doe, for one clap, ten will hi
sse.
1289Fust. Zwounds Cozen, he talks to me, as if I were a
scur
- 12912. Pren. Sirra
George, I ha thought vpon a deuice, how to
1292breake his pate, beat him
soundly, and
ship him away.
1293Geor. Doo't.
2. Pren. Ile go in, pa
sse through the hou
se,
1294giue
some of our fellow Prentices the watch-word when
1295they
shall enter, then come and fetch my ma
ster in by a
1296wile, and place one in the hall to hold him in conference
1297whil
st we cudgell the Gul out of his coxcombe.
1298Geor. Doo't, away, doo't.
1299Wife. Mu
st I call twice for the
se Cambricks & lawnes?
1300Cand. Nay
see, you anger her,
George, prithee di
spatch.
13012. pr. Two of the choi
se
st pieces are in the warehou
se,
sir.
1302Cand. Go fetch them pre
sently.
Exit 1. prentice. 1303Fust. I, do, make ha
ste,
sirra.
1304Cand. Why were you
such a
stranger all this while,
1305being my wiues Cozen?
1306Fust. Stranger? no
sir, Ime a naturall Millaner borne.
1307Can. I perceyue
still it is your naturall gui
se to mi
stake
1308me, but you are welcom
sir, I much wi
sh your acquaintāce.
1309Fust. My acquaintance? I
scorne that ifayth; I hope, my
1310acquaintance goes in chaines of gold three and
fifty times
1311double: you know who I meane, Coz, the po
sts of his gate
1312are a painting to.
Enter the 2. Prentice. 13132. Pr. Signior Pandulfo the Marchāt de
sires conference
1314with you.
Can. Signior Pandulfo? Ile be with him
straight.
1315Attend your mi
stris and the Gentleman.
1316Wife. When do you
shew tho
se pieces?
Exit. 1317Omn. Pre
sently
sir, pre
sently, we are but charging thē.
1318Fust. Come
sirra, you Flat-cap, where be the
se whites?
1319Ge. Flat-cap? heark in your eare
sir, yare a
flat foole, an
1320A
sse, a gull, & Ile thrum you: do you
see this cambrick,
sir?
E 3 Fust. Sfoot,
The conuerted Courtizan.
1321Fust. Sfoot Coz, a good ie
st, did you heare him? he told
1322me in my eare,
I was a
flat foole, an A
sse, a Gull, and
Ile
1323thrumb you: doe you
see this Cambrick
sir?
1324Wi. What, not my men,
I hope?
1325Fust. No, not your men, but one of your men ifayth.
13261. Pr. I pray
sir, come hither, what
say you to this? heres
1327an excellent good one.
1328Fust. I marry, this likes me well, cut me o
ff some halfe (
score yards.
13292. Pr. Let your whores cut, yare an impudent coxcomb,
1330you get none, & yet Ile thrum you.- A very good Cam
- 1332Fust. Agen, agen, as God iudge me: Sfoot, Coz, they
1333stand thrūming here with me all day, & yet
I get nothing.
13341. Pr. A word
I pray
sir, you mu
st not be angry, prentices
1335haue hote blouds, young fellowes,- What
say you to this
1336piece? looke you, tis
so delicate,
so
soft,
so euen,
so
fine a
1337thrid, that a Lady may weare it.
1338Fust. Sfoot
I thinke
so, if a Knight marry my Punck, a
1339Lady
shall weare it: cut me o
ff 20. yards: th'art an hone
st (lad.
13401. Pr. Not without mony, gull, & ile thrū you to.
1341Omn. Gull, weele thrum you.
1342Fust. O Lord,
sister, did you not heare
something cry
1343thump? zounds your men here make a plaine A
sse of me.
1344Wi. What, to my face
so impudent?
1345Geor. I, in a cau
se
so hone
st, weele not
su
ffer
1346Our ma
sters goods to vani
sh monyle
sse.
1347Wife. You will not
su
ffer them.
13482. Pr. No, and you may blu
sh,
1349In going about to vex
so mild a bre
st,
1350As is our ma
sters.
Wi. Take away tho
se pieces.
1351Cozen,
I giue them
freely.
1352Fust. Ma
sse, and
Ile take em as
freely.
1353Om. Weele make you lay em down agen more
freely.
1354Wi. Help, help, my brother wilbe murdered.
Enter Can. 1355Cand. How now, what coyle is here? forbeare,
I say.
1356Geor. He cals vs Flatcaps, and abu
ses vs.
1357Can. Why,
sirs? do
such examples
flow
from me?
1358Wi. They are of your keeping
sir, alas poore brother.
Fust. I
The conuerted Courtizan.
1359Fust. I fayth they ha pepperd me,
sister: looke, doo
st not
1360spin? call you the
se Prentices? Ile nere play at cards more
1361whē clubs is trump: I haue a goodly coxcomb,
sister, haue (I not?
1362Cand. Si
ster and brother, brother to my wife.
1363Fust. If you haue any skill in Heraldry, you may
soone
1364know that, break but her pate, and you
shal
see her blood
1366Can. A Surgeon, run, a Surgeon: Why then wore you
1367that forged name of Cozen?
1368Fust. Becau
se its a common thing to call Coz, and Nin
- 1369gle now adayes all the world ouer.
1370Cand. Cozen! A name of much deceyt, folly and
sin,
1371For vnder that common abu
sed word,
1372Many an hone
st tempred Cityzen
1373Is made a mon
ster, and his wife traynd out
1374To foule adulterous a
ction, full of
fraud.
1375I may well call that word, A Cities Bawd.
1376Fust. Troth, brother, my
sister would needs ha me take
1377vpon me to gull your patience a little: but it has made
1378double Gules on my coxcomb.
1379Wife. What, playing the woman? blabbing now you (foole?
1380Cand. O, my wife did but exerci
se a ie
st vpon your wit.
1381Fust. Sfoot, my wit bleeds for't, me thinks.
1382Cand. Then let this warning more of
sence a
fford.
1383The name of Cozen is a bloudy word.
1384Fnst. Ile nere call Coz agen whil
st I liue, to haue
such
1385a coyle about it: this
should be a Coronation day; for my
1386head runnes Claret lu
stily.
Exit. Enter an Officer. 1387Can. Go with the Surgeon to haue great re
spe
ct.
1388How now, my
friend, what, do they
sit to day?
1389Off. Yes
sir, they expe
ct you at the Senate-hou
se.
1390Can. I thāk your paines, Ile not be la
st man there.
Exit Off. 1391My gowne,
George, goe, my gowne. A happy land,
1392Where graue men meet each cau
se to vnder
stand,
1393Who
se con
sciences are not cut out in brybes,
1394To gull the poore mans right: but in euen
scales,
1395Peize rich & poore, without corruptions veyles.
1396Come, wheres the gowne?
Ge. I cannot
find the key
sir.
1397Cand. Reque
st it of your mi
stris.
E 4 Wife. Come
The conuerted Courtizan.
1398Wife. Come not to me for any Key.
1399Ile not be troubled to deliuer it.
1400Cand. Good wife, kind wife, it is a needfull trouble,
1402Wi. Mothes
swallow downe your Gowne:
1403You
set my teeth an edge with talking on't.
1404Cand. Nay prythee
sweet, I cannot meet without it,
1405I
should haue a great Fyne
set on my head.
1406Wi. Set on your Coxcomb: tu
sh, Fine me no Fines.
1407Can. Beleeue me
sweet, none greets the Senate-hou
se,
1408Without his Robe of reuerence, that's his Gowne.
1409Wi. Well, then y'are like to cro
sse that cu
stome once,
1410You get nor key, nor gowne, and
so depart:
1411This trick will vexe him
sure, and
fret his heart.
Exit. 1412Cand. Stay, let me
see, I mu
st haue
some deuice,
1413My cloke's too
short: fye, fye, no cloke will doo't:
1414It mu
st be
something fa
shioned like a Gowne,
1415With my armes out
: oh
George, come hither
George,
1416I prythee lend me thine aduice.
1417Geor. Truth
sir, were it any but you, they would breake (open che
st.
1418Cand. O no, break open che
st! thats a theeues o
ffice:
1419Therein you coun
sell me again
st my bloud:
1420'Twould
shew impatience that, any meeke meanes
1421I would be glad to imbrace. Ma
sse,
I haue got it:
1422Go,
step vp, fetch me downe one of the Carpets,
1423The
sadde
st colourd Carpet, hone
st George,
1424Cut thou a hole ith middle for my necke,
1425Two for mine armes, nay prythee looke not
strange.
1426Ge. I hope you doe not thinke
sir, as you meane.
1427Can. Prythee about it quickly, the houre chides me:
1428Warily
George,
softly, take heed of eyes,
Exit George. 1429Out of two euils hee's accounted wi
se,
1430That can pick out the lea
st; the Fine impo
sde
1431For an vngowned Senator, is about
1432Forty Cruzadoes, the Carpet not 'boue foure.
1433Thus haue I cho
sen the le
sser euill yet,
1434Pre
seru'd my patience, foyld her de
sperate wit.
1435Geo. Here
sir, heer's the Carpet.
Enter George. Cand. O
The conuerted Courtizan.
1436Cand. O well done,
George, weele cut it iu
st ith mid
st:
1437Tis very well
I thanke thee, helpe it on.
1438Ge. It mu
st come ouer your head,
sir, like a wenches pe
-(ticoate.
1439Cand. Th'art in the right, good
George, it mu
st indeed.
1440Fetch me a nightcap, for Ile gyrd it clo
se,
1441As if my health were queazy: twill
show well,
1442For a rude carele
sse night-gowne, wil't not, think
st?
1443Ge. Indi
fferent well,
sir, for a night-gowne, being girt & (pleated.
1444Cand. I, and a night-cap on my head.
1445Ge. Thats true
sir, Ile run & fetch one, & a
sta
ffe.
Exit Ge. 1446Can. For thus they cannot chu
se but con
ster it,
1447One that is out of health, takes no delight,
1448Weares his apparell without appetite,
1449And puts on heedles rayment without forme.
Enter Geo. 1450So,
so, kind
George, be
secret now: & prithee do not laugh
1451at me till Ime out of
sight.
Geor. I laugh? not I,
sir.
1452Cand. Now to the Senate-hou
se:
1453Methinks, Ide rather weare without a
frowne,
1454A patient Carpet, then an angry Gowne.
Exit. 1455Ge. Now looks my M. iu
st like one of our Carpet knights,
1456only hee's
somewhat the hone
ster of the two.
Enter Can-didoes wife. 1457Wi. What, is your ma
ster gone?
1458Geo. Yes for
sooth, his back is but new turnd.
1459Wi. And in his cloke? did he not vexe and
sweare?
1460Geo. No, but heele make you
sweare anon: no indeed,
1461he went away like a lambe.
1462Wi. Key,
sinke to hell:
still patient, patient
still!
1463I am with child to vexe him
: prythee
George,
1464If e're thou look
st for fauour at my hands,
1465Vphold one Ie
st for me.
Geor. Again
st my ma
ster?
1466Wi. Tis a meere Ie
st in fayth:
say, wilt thou doo't?
1467Geor. Well, what i
st?
1468Wi. Heere, take this key, thou know
st where all things (lie,
1469Put on thy ma
sters be
st apparell, Gowne,
1470Chayne, Cap, Ru
ffe, euery thing, be like him
selfe,
1471And 'gayn
st his comming home, walke in the
shop,
1472Fayne the
same cariage, and his patient looke,
1473'Twill breed but a ie
st thou know
st,
speake, wilt thou?
1474Geor. 'Twill wrong my ma
sters patience.
F Wi. Pry-
The conuerted Courtizan.
1475Wi. Prythee
George.
Geor. Well, if youle
saue me
1476harmle
sse, and put me vnder couert barne, I am content to
1477plea
se you, prouided it may breed no wrong again
st him.
1478Wi. No wrong at all: here take the Key, be gone:
1479If any vex him, this: if not this, none
Exeunt. 1481Enter a Bawd and Roger. 1482Bawd. O R
oger, R
oger, where's your mi
stris, wher's your
1483mi
stris? there's the
fine
st, neate
st Gentleman at my hou
se,
1484but newly come ouer: O where is
she, where is
she, where
1486Rog. My mi
stris is abroad, but not among
st em: my mi
- 1487stris is not the whore now that you take her for.
1488Baw. How? is
she not a whore? do you go about to take
1489away her good name, R
oger? you are a
fine Pandar indeed.
1490Rog. I tell you,
Madona Finger-locke, I am not
sad for
1491nothing, I ha not eaten one good meale this three & thir
- 1492ty dayes: I had wont to get
sixteene pence by fetching a
1493pottle of Hypocras: but now tho
se dayes are pa
st: we had
1494as good doings,
Madona Finger-locke,
she within dores and
1495I without, as any poore yong couple in Millain.
1496Baw. Gods my life, and is
she chang'd now?
1497Rog. I ha lo
st by her
squeami
shne
sse, more then would
1498haue builded 12. bawdy hou
ses.
1499 And had
she no time to turn hone
st but now? what a vile
1500woman is this? twenty pound a night, Ile be
sworne,
Roger,
1501in good gold and no
siluer: why here was a time, if
she
1502should ha pickt out a time, it could not be better! gold y
- 1503nough
stirring; choyce of men, choyce of haire, choyce of
1504beards, choyce of legs, and choyce of euery, euery, euery
1505thing: it cannot
sink into my head, that
she
should be
such
1506an A
sse. R
oger, I neuer beleeue it.
1507Rog. Here
she comes now.
Enter Bellafronte. 1508Baw. O
sweet
Madona, on with your loo
se gowne, your
1509felt & your feather, there's the
sweete
st, propre
st, gallante
st 1510Gentleman at my hou
se, he
smells all of Muske & Amber
1511greece, his pocket full of Crownes,
flame-colourd dublet,
1512red
satin ho
se, Carnation
silke
stockins, and a leg and a
Bel. Hence
The conuerted Courtizan.
1514Bel. Hence, thou our
sexes mon
ster, poy
sonous Bawd,
1515Lu
sts Fa
ctor, and damnations Orator,
1516Go
ssip of hell, were all the Harlots
sinnes
1517Which the whole world conteynes, numbred together,
1518Thine farre exceeds them all; of all the creatures
1519That euer were created, thou art ba
se
st:
1520What
serpent would beguile thee of thy O
ffice?
1521It is dete
stable: for thou liu'
st 1522Vpon the dregs of Harlots, guard'
st the dore,
1523Whil
st couples goe to dauncing: O cour
se deuill!
1524Thou art the ba
stards cur
se, thou brand
st his birth,
1525The lechers French di
sea
se; for thou dry-
suck
st him:
1526The Harlots poy
son, and thine owne confu
sion.
1527Baw. Mary come vp with a pox, haue you no body to
1528raile again
st, but your Bawd now?
1529Bel. And you, Knaue Pandar, kin
sman to a Bawd.
1530Rog. You and I
Madona, are Cozens.
1531Bel. Of the
same bloud and making, neere allyed,
1532Thou, that
slaue to
sixpence, ba
se-mettald villayne.
1533Rog. Sixpence? nay that's not
so; I neuer took vnder two
1534shillings foure pence, I hope I know my fee.
1535Bel. I know not again
st which mo
st to inueigh:
1536For both of you are damnd
so equally.
1537Thou neuer
spar'
st for oathes:
swear
st any thing,
1538As if thy
soule were made of
shoe-leather.
1539God dam me, Gentleman, if she be within,
1540When in the next roome
she's found dallying.
1541Rog. If it be my vocation to
sweare, euery man in his vo
- 1542cation: I hope my betters
sweare and dam them
selues, and
1543why
should not I?
Bel. R
oger, you cheat kind gentlemen?
1544Rog. The more gulls they.
1545Bel. Slaue, I ca
sheere thee.
1546Baw. And you do ca
sheere him, he
shalbe entertaynd.
1547Rog. Shall I? then blurt a your
seruice.
1548Bel. As hell would haue it, entertaynd by you!
1549I dare the deuill him
selfe to match tho
se two.
Exit. 1550Baw. Mary gup, are you growne
so holy,
so pure,
so ho
- F 2 Rog. Scur-
The conuerted Courtizan.
1552Rog. Scuruy hone
st Punck! But
stay
Madona, how mu
st 1553our agreement be now? for you know I am to haue all the
1554commings in at the hall dore, & you at the chamber dore.
1555Ba. True
Rog. except my vailes.
Rog. Vailes, what vailes?
1556Ba. Why as thus, if a couple come in a Coach, & light to
1557lie down a little, then
Roger, thats my fee, & you may walke
1558abroad; for the Coach-man him
selfe is their Pandar.
1559Ro. Is a
so? in truth I haue almo
st forgot, for want of ex
- 1560erci
se: But how if I fetch this Citizens wife to that Gull, &
1561that
Madona to that Gallant, how then?
1562Ba. Why then,
Roger, you are to haue
sixpence a lane,
1563so many lanes,
so many
sixpences.
1564Ro. I
st so? thē I
see we two
shall agree and liue together.
1565Ba. I
Roger,
so long as there be any Tauernes and baw
- 1566dy hou
ses in Millain.
Exeunt. 1568Enter Bellafronte with a Lute, pen, inke and paper 1569being placde before her. 1571 THe Courtiers flattring Iewels, 1572 (Temptations onely fewels) 1573 The Lawyers ill-got monyes, 1574 That sucke vp poore Bees Honyes: 1575 The Citizens sonne's ryot, 1576 The gallant costly dyet: 1577 Silks and Veluets, Pearles and Ambers, 1578 Shall not draw me to their Chambers. Shee writes. 1579 Silks and Veluets, &c. 1580Oh, tis in vayne to write: it will not plea
se,
1581Inke on this paper would ha but pre
sented
1582The foule blacke
spots that
sticke vpon my
soule,
1583And rather make me loth
somer, then wrought
1584My loues impre
ssion in
Hipolitoes thought.
1585No, I mu
st turne the cha
ste leaues of my bre
st,
1586And pick out
some
sweet meanes to breed my re
st.
1587Hipolito, beleeue me I will be
1588As true vnto thy heart, as thy heart to thee,
And
The conuerted Courtizan.
1589And hate all men, their gifts and company.
1590Enter Matheo, Castruchio, Fluello, and Pioratto. 1591Mat. You, goody Punck,
subandi Cockatrice, O yare a
1592sweet whore of your promi
se, are you not think you? how
1593wel you came to
supper to vs la
st night: mew, a whore &
1594breake her word! nay you may blu
sh, & hold downe your
1595head at it wel ynough: Sfoot, aske the
se gallants if we
staid
1596not till we were as hungry as Seriants.
1597Flu. I, and their Yeoman too.
1598Cast. Nay fayth
Acquaintance, let me tell you, you forgat
1599your
selfe too much: we had excellēt cheere, rare vintage,
1600and were drunke after
supper.
1601Pior. And when wee were in our Woodcocks (
sweete
1602Rogue) a brace of Gulles, dwelling here in the City, came
1603in & payd all the
shot.
Mat. Pox on her, let her alone.
1604Bel. O, I pray doe, if you be Gentlemen:
1605I pray depart the hou
se; be
shrew the dore
1606For being
so ea
sily entreated: fayth,
1607I lent but little eare vnto your talke,
1608My mind was bu
sied otherwi
se in troth,
1609And
so your words did vnregarded pa
sse:
1610Let this
su
ffice,
I am not as
I was.
1611Flu. I am not what
I was! no
Ile be
sworne thou art not:
1612for thou wert hone
st at
fiue, & now th'art a Puncke at
fif
- 1613teene: thou wert ye
sterday a
simple whore, and now thart
1614a cunning Conny catching Baggage to day.
1615Bel. Ile
say Ime wor
se, I pray for
sake me then,
1616I doe de
sire you leaue me, Gentlemen,
1617And leaue your
selues: O be not what you are,
1618(Spendthrifts of
soule and body)
1619Let me per
swade you to for
sake all Harlots,
1620Wor
se then the deadlie
st poi
sons, they are wor
se:
1621For o're their
soules hangs an eternall cur
se,
1622In being
slaue to
slaues, their labours peri
sh,
1623Th'are
seldome ble
st with
fruit; for e're it blo
ssom,
1624Many a worme confounds it.
1625They haue no i
ssue but foule vgly ones,
1626That run along with them, e'ene to their graues:
1627For
stead of children, they breed ranke di
sea
ses,
F 3 And
The conuerted Courtizan.
1628And all, you Gallants, can be
stow on them,
1629Is that French Infant, which n'ere a
cts but
speaks:
1630What
shallow
sonne & heire then, fooli
sh gallāt,
1631Would wa
ste all his inheritance, to purcha
se
1632A
filthy loathd di
sea
se? and pawne his body
1633To a dry euill: that v
surie's wor
st of all,
1634When th'intere
st will eate out the principall.
1635Mat. Sfoot,
she guls em the be
st: this is alwaies
1636her fa
shion, when
she would be rid of any com
- 1637pany that
she cares not for, to inioy mine alone.
1638Flu. Whats here? in
stru
ctions, Admonitions, and Caue
- 1639ats? come out, you
scabberd of vengeance.
1640Mat. Fluello,
spurne your hounds when they fy
ste, you
1641shall not
spurne my Punk, I can tell you my bloud is vext.
1642Flu. Pox a your bloud: make it a quarrell.
1643Mat. Y'are a Slaue, will that
serue turne?
1644Omn. Sbloud, hold, hold.
1645Cast. Matheo,
Fluello, for
shame put vp.
1646Mat. Spurne my
sweet Varlet!
1648Mou'd with a little folly, haue let out
1649Their
soules in Brothell hou
ses, fell downe and dyed
1650Iu
st at their Harlots foot, as 'twere in pride.
1651Flu. Matheo, we
shall meet.
1652Mat. I, I, any where,
sauing at Church: pray take heed
1654Flu. Adue, Damnation.
1655Cast. Cockatrice, farewell.
1656Pi. There's more deceit in women, then in hel.
Exeunt. 1657Mat. Ha, ha, thou doe
st gull em
so rarely,
so naturally: if
1658I did not think thou had
st bin in earne
st: thou art a
sweet
1660Bel. Why are not you gone to, Signior
Matheo?
1661I pray depart my hou
se: you may beleeue me,
1662In troth I haue no part of Harlot in me.
1664Bel. Indeed I loue you not: but hate you wor
se
1665Then any man, becau
se you were the
fir
st Gaue
The conuerted Courtizan.
1666Gaue money for my
soule; you brake the Ice,
1667Which after turnd a puddle: I was led
1668By your temptation to be mi
serable:
1669I pray
seeke out
some other that will fall,
1670Or rather (I pray)
seeke out none at all.
1671Mat. I
st po
ssible, to be impo
ssible, an hone
st whore! I
1672haue heard many hone
st wenches turne Strumpets with
1673a wet
finger; but for a Harlot to turne hone
st, is one of
Her- 1674cules labours: It was more ea
sie for him in one night to
1675make
fifty queanes, then to make one of them hone
st a
- 1676gen in
fifty yeeres: come, I hope thou doo
st but ie
st.
1677Bel. Tis time to leaue o
ff ie
sting, I
had almo
st 1678Ie
sted away Saluation: I
shall loue you,
1679If you will
soone for
sake me.
1681Bel. Oh, tempt no more womē
: shun their weighty cur
se,
1682Women (at be
st) are bad, make them not wor
se,
1683You gladly
seeke our
sexes ouerthrow:
1684But not to ray
se our
states for all your wrongs.
1685Will you vouch
safe me but due recompence,
1687Mat. How, marry with a Punck, a Cockatrice, a Har
- 1688lot? mary foh, Ile be burnt thorow the no
se
fir
st.
1689Bel. Why la? the
se are your othes you loue to vndo vs,
1690To put heauen from vs, whil
st our be
st houres wa
ste:
1691You loue to make vs lewd, but neuer cha
ste.
1692Mat. Ile heare no more of this: this ground vpon,
1693Th'art damn'd for altring thy Religion.
Exit. 1694Bel. Thy lu
st and
sin
speake
so much: go thou my ruine,
1695The
fir
st fall my
soule tooke; by my example
1696I hope few maydens now will put their heads
1697Vnder mens girdels: who lea
st tru
sts, is mo
st wi
se:
1698Mens othes do ca
st a mi
st before our eyes.
1699My be
st of wit be ready: now I goe,
1700By
some deuice to greet
Hipolito.
F 4 SCENA
The conuerted Courtizan.
SCENA 10.
1702Enter a seruant setting out a Table, on which he places 1703a scull, a picture, a booke and a Taper. 1704Ser. So, this is Monday morning, and now mu
st I to my
1705hu
swi
fry: would I had bin created a Shoomaker; for all the
1706gentle craft are gentlemen euery Monday by their Copy,
1707&
scorne (then) to worke one true
stitch. My M. meanes
1708sure to turne me into a
student; for here's my booke, here
1709my deske, here my light; this my clo
se chamber, and heere
1710my Punck:
so that this dull drowzy
fir
st day of the weeke,
1711makes me halfe a Prie
st, halfe a Chandler, halfe a paynter,
1712halfe a Sexton, I & halfe a Bawd: for (all this day) my o
ffice
1713is to do nothing but keep the dore. To proue it, looke you,
1714this good-face & yonder gentleman (
so
soone as euer my
1715back's turnd) wilbe naught together.
Enter Hipolito. 1716Hip. Are all the windowes
shut?
Ser. Clo
se
sir, as the
fist 1717of a Courtier that hath
stood in three raignes.
1718Hip. Thou art a faythfull
seruant, and ob
seru'
st 1719The Calender, both of my
solemne vowes,
1720And ceremonious
sorrow: Get thee gone,
1721I charge thee on thy life, let not the
sound
1722Of any womans voyce pierce through that dore.
1723Ser. If they do, my Lord, Ile pearce
some of them.
1724What will your Lord
ship haue to breakfa
st?
1725Hip. Sighs.
Ser. What to dinner?
Hip. Teares.
1726Ser. The one of them, my Lord, will
fill you too full of
1727wind, the other wet you too much. What to
supper?
1728Hip. That which (now) thou can
st not get me, the con
- 1730Ser. Indeed thats harder to come by then euer was
1733Ser. Ile make away my
selfe pre
sently, which few Ser
- 1734uants will doe for their Lords; but rather helpe to make
1735them away: Now to my dore-keeping, I hope to picke
1736something out of it.
Exit. 1737Hip. My Infelices face: her brow, her eye,
1738The dimple on her cheeke: and
such
sweet skill,
Hath
CVRTIZAN.
1739Hath
from the cunning workemans pencill
flowne,
1740The
se lippes looke
fre
sh and liuely as her owne
1741Seeming to mooue and
speake. Las! now I
see,
1742The rea
son why fond women loue to buy
1743Adulterate complexion: here tis read,
1744Fal
se coulours la
st after the true be dead.
1745Of all the Ro
ses grafted on her cheekes,
1746Of all the graces dauncing in her eyes,
1747Of all the Mu
sick
set vpon her tongue,
1748Of all that was pa
st womans excellence,
1749In her white bo
some, looke! a painted board,
1750Circum
scribes all: Earth can no bli
sse a
fford.
1751Nothing of her, but this? this cannot
speake,
1752It has no lap for me to re
st vpon,
1753No lip worth ta
sting: here the wormes will feed,
1754As in her co
ffin: hence then idle Art,
1755True loue's be
st pi
ctur'de in a true-loues heart.
1756Here art thou drawne
sweet maid, till this be dead,
1757So that thou liu'
st twice, twice art buried.
1758Thou
figure of my
friend lye there. Whats here?
1759Perhaps this
shrewd pate was mine enimies:
1760Las
! say it were: I need not feare him now.
1761For all his braues, his contumelious breath,
1762His
frownes (tho dagger-pointed) all his plots
1763(Tho 'nere
so mi
schieuous) his Italian pilles,
1764His quarrels, and (that common fence) his law,
1765See,
see, they're all eaten out; here's not left one?
1766How cleane they're pickt away
! to the bare bone
! 1767How mad are mortals then to reare great names
1768On tops of
swelling hou
ses? or to weare out
1769Their
fingers ends (in durt,) to
scrape vp gould
! 1770Not caring
so (that Sumpter-hor
se) the back
1771Be hung with gawdy trappings, with what cour
se:
1772Yea rags mo
st beggerly, they cloath the
soule
: 1773Yet (after all) their
Gay-nes lookes thus foule.
1774What fooles are men to build a gari
sh tombe,
1775Onely to
saue the carca
sse whil
st it rotes,
1776To maintein't long in
stincking, make good carion,
G But
THE CONVERTED
1777But leaue no good deeds to pre
serue them
sound,
1778For good deedes keepe men
sweet, long aboue ground,
1779And mu
st all come to this: fooles; wi
se, all hether,
1780Mu
st all heads thus at la
st be laid together:
1781Draw me my pi
cture then, thou graue neate workman,
1782After this fa
shion, not like this: the
se coulours
1783In time ki
ssing but ayre, will be ki
st o
ff,
1784But heres a fellow; that which he layes on,
1785Till doomes day alters not complexion.
1786Death's the be
st Painter then: They that draw
shapes,
1787And liue by wicked faces, are but Gods Apes,
1788They come but neere the life, and there they
stay,
1789This fellow drawes life to: his Art is fuller,
1790The pi
ctures which he makes are without coulour.
1792Ser. Heres a per
son would
speake with you
sir.
1794Ser. A par
son
sir would
speake with you.
1796Ser. Vicar
? no
sir, has too good a face to be a Vicar yet, a
1798Hip. What youth? of man or woman
? lock the dores.
1799Ser. If it be a woman, mary-bones and Potato pies keepe
1800me for medling with her, for the thing has got the breeches,
1801tis a male-varlet
sure my Lord, for a womans tayler neare
1803Hip. Let him giue thee his me
ssage and be gone:
1804Ser, He
sayes hees
signior
Mathaeos man, but I know he
1806Hip. How doe
st thou know it?
1807Ser. Cau
se has nere a beard
: tis his boy I thinke
sir, who
- 1808soere paide for his nur
sing.
1809Hip. Send him and keepe the doore.
Reades. 1811Fingere arbitrio meo, 1812Temperem Zephyro leuivela. 1813Ide
saile were I to choo
se, not in the Ocean,
Cedars
CVRTTIZAN.
1814Cedars are
shaken, when
shrubs doe feele no bruize.
1815Enter Bellafronte like a Page. 1819Bell. Not all in health my Lord.
1822Hard fate when women are compeld to wooe.
1823Hip. This paper does
speake nothing.
1825Matter of life it
speakes, and therefore writ
1826In hidden Cara
cter; to me in
stru
ction
1827My mai
ster giues, And (le
sse you plea
se to
stay
1828Till you both meet) I can the text di
splay.
1829Hip. Doe
so: read out.
1830Bell. I am already out
: 1831Looke on my face, and read the
strange
st story
! 1832Hip. What villaine, ho?
Enter his Seruant. 1833Ser. Call you my Lord?
1834Hip. Thou
slaue, thou ha
st let in the diuell.
1835Ser. Lord ble
sse vs, where? hees not clouen my Lord that
1836I can
see
: be
sides the diuell goes more like a Gentleman
1837than a Page: good my Lord
Boon couragio.
1838Hip. Thou ha
st let in a woman, in mans
shape.
1839And thou art dambd for't.
1840Ser. Not dambd I hope for putting in a woman to a Lord.
1841Hip. Fetch me my Rapier,--do not: I
shall kill thee.
1842Purge this infe
cted chamber of that plague,
1843That runnes vpon me thus
: Slaue, thru
st her hence.
1844Ser. Alas my Lord, I
shall neuer be able to thru
st her hence
1845without helpe
: come Mermaid you mu
st to Sea agen.
1846Bell. Here me but
speake, my words
shall be all Mu
sick:
1848Hip. Another beates the dore,
1849T'other Shee-diuell, looke.
1850Ser. Why then hell's broke loo
se.
1851Hip. Hence, guard the chamber
: let no more come on,
G 2 One
THE CONVERTED
1852One woman
serues for mans damnation,
1853Be
shrew thee, thou doo
st make me violate,
1854The cha
ste
st and mo
st san
ctimonious vow,
1855That ere was entred in the court of heauen:
1856I was on meditations
spottles wings,
1857vpon my iourney thither; like a
storme
1858Thou beat
st my ripened cogitations,
1859flat to the ground: and like a theife doo
st stand,
1860To
steale deuotion
from the holy land.
1861Bell. If woman were thy mother; if thy hart,
1862Bee not all Marble, (or ift Marble be)
1863Let my teares
soften it, to pitty me,
1864I doe be
seech thee doe not thus with
scorne,
1866Hip. Woman I be
seech thee,
1867Get thee
some other
suite, this
fits thee not,
1868I would not grant it to a kneeling Queene,
1869I cannot loue thee, nor I mu
st not
: See,
1870The copy of that obligation,
1871Where my
soul's bound in heauy penalties.
1872Bell. She's dead you told me,
shele let fal her
suite.
1873Hip. My vowes to her,
fled after her to heauen,
1874Were thine eyes cleere as mine, thou mighte
st behold her,
1875Watching vpon yon battlements of
starres,
1876How I ob
serue them:
should I breake my bond,
1877This bord would riue in twaine, the
se wooden lippes
1878Call me mo
st periurde villaine let it
su
ffice,
1879I ha
set thee in the path; I
st not a
signe,
1880I loue thee, when with one
so mo
st mo
st deare,
1881Ile haue thee fellowes? All are fellowes there.
1882Bell. Be greater then a king,
saue not a body,
1883But from eternall
shipwracke keepe a
soule,
1884If not, and that againe,
sinnes path I tread,
1885The griefe be mine, the guilt fall on thy head.
1886Hip. Stay and take Phi
sicke for it, read this booke,
1887Aske coun
sell of this head whats to be done,
1888Hele
strike it dead that tis damnation,
1889If you turne turke againe, oh doe it not,
The
CVRTIZAN.
1890The heauen cannot allure you to do well
1891From doing ill let hell
fright you: and learne this,
1892The
soule who
se bo
some lu
st did neuer touch,
1893Is Gods faire bride, and maidens
soules are
such:
1894The
soule that leauing cha
stities white
shore,
1895Swims in hot
sen
suall
streames, is the diuels whore,
1896How now: who comes.
Enter his seruant. 1897Ser. No more knaues my Lord that weare
smocks
: heres
1898a letter
from do
ctor
Benedict; I would not enter his man, tho
1899he had haires at his mouth, for feare he
should be a woman, for
1900some women haue beardes, mary they are halfe witches,
1901Slid you are a
sweete youth to weare a codpeece, and haue no
1902pinnes to
stick vpont.
1903Hip. Ile meete the do
ctor, tell him, yet too night
1904I cannot: but at morrow ri
sing Sunne
1905I will not faile: goe woman fare thee well.
Exeunt. 1906Bel. The lowe
st fall can be but into hell,
1907It does not moue him. I mu
st therefore
flie,
1908From this vndoing Cittie, aud with teares,
1909Wa
sh o
ff all anger
from my fathers brow.
1910He cannot
sure but ioy
seeing me new borne,
1911A woman hone
st fir
st and then turne whore,
1912Is (as with me) common to thou
sands more,
1913But
from a
strumpet to turne cha
st: that
sonnd,
1914Has oft bin heard, that woman hardly found.
Exit. 191511. SCE. Enter Fustigo, Crambo and Poh. 1916Fus. Hold vp your hands gentlemen: heres one, two, three,
1917(nay I warrant they are
sound pi
stols, and without
flawes, I
1918had them (of my
sister, and I know
she v
ses to put nothing
1919thats crackt,) three, foure,
fiue,
sixe,
seauen, eight and nine, by
1920this hand bring me but a piece of his bloud. And you
shall
1921haue 9. more. Ile lurke in a tauerne not far o
ff & prouide
sup
- 1922per to clo
se vp the end of the Tragedy, the linnen drapers re
- 1923mēber-
stand toot I be
seech you, & play your parts perfe
ctly.
1924Cram. Looke you Signior, tis not your golde that we way.
1925Fust. Nay, nay, way it and
spare not, if it lacke one graine of (corne;
1926Ile giue you a bu
shell of wheate to make it vp.
1927Cram. But by your fauour Signior, which of the
seruants
G 3 is
THE CONVERTED
1928is it becau
se weele puni
sh iu
stly.
1929Fust. Mary tis the head man; you
shall ta
st him by his
1930tongue a pretty tall prating felow, with a
Tuscalonian beard.
1931Po Tuscalonian? very good.
1932Fust. Cods life I was neere
so thrumbd
since I was a gentle
- 1933man: my coxcombe was dry beaten as if my haire had beene
1934hemp.
Cram. Weele dry beate
some of them.
1935Fust. Nay it grew
so high, that my
sister cryed murder out
1936very manfully: I haue her con
sent in a manner to haue him
1937pepperd, els ile not doot to win more then ten cheaters do at a
1938ri
fling: breake but his pate or
so, onely his mazer, becau
se
1939ile haue his head in a cloth a
swell as mine, hees a linnen dra
- 1940per and may take enough. I could enter mine a
ction of batte
- 1941ry again
st him, but we may haps be both dead and rotten be
- 1942fore the lawyers would end it.
1943Cram, No more to doe, but in
sconce your
selfe i'th tauern;
1944prouide no great cheare, couple of Capons,
some Phe
santes,
1945Plouers, an Oringeado-pie or
so
: but how bloudy
soere the
1946day be,
sally you not forth.
1947Fust. No, no, nay if I
stir,
some body
shal
stinke: ile not budge:
1948ile lie like a dog in a manger.
1949Cram. Well, well, to the tauerne, let not our
supper be raw,
1950for you
shall haue blood enough-your belly full.
1951Fust. Thats all
so god
sa me, I thir
st after, bloud for bloud,
1952bump for bump, no
se for no
se, head for head, pla
ster for pla
- 1953ster, and
so farewell: what
shall I call your names becau
se ile
1954leaue word, if any
such come to the barre.
1955Cram. My name is Corporall
Crambo.
1956Poh. And mine, Lieutenant
Poh.
Exeunt. 1957Cram. Poh is as tall a man as euer opened Oy
ster: I would
1958not be the diuell to meete
Poh, farewell.
1959Fust: Nor I by this light, if
Poh be
such a
Poh.
Exeunt. 1960Enter Candidoes wife, in her shop, and the 1962Wife. Whats a clocke now?
19632. Pren. Tis almo
st twelue.
Wife.
CVRTIZAN.
1965The Senate will leaue wording pre
sently,
19672. Pre. Yes for
sooth, hees furbu
sht.
1968Wife. Now as you euer hope to win my fauour,
1969Thtow both your duties and re
spe
cts on him,
1970With the like awe as if he were your mai
ster,
1971Let not your lookes betray it with a
smile,
1972Or ieering glaunce to any cu
stomer,
1973Keepe a true
setled countenance, and beware,
1974You laugh not what
soeuer you heare or
see.
19752. Pren. I warrant you mi
stris, let vs alone for keeping our
1976countenance: for if I li
st, theres neuer a foole in all
Millan shal
1977make me laugh, let him play the foole neuer
so like an A
sse,
1978whether it be the fat Court foole, or the leane Cittie foole.
1979Wife. Enough then, call downe
George.
19802. Pren. I heare him comming.
1982Wife. Be ready with your legs then, let me
see,
1983How curtzy would become him: gallantly!
1984Be
shrew my bloud a proper
seemely man,
1985Of a choice carriage walkes with a good port,
1986Geo. I thanke you mi
stris, my back's broad enough, now
1987my Mai
sters gown's on,
1988Wif. Sure I
should thinke it were the lea
st of
sinne,
1989To mi
stake the mai
ster, and to let him in.
1990Geo. Twere a good Comedy of errors that yfaith.
19912. Pre. Whi
st, whi
st, my mai
ster.
1992Enter Candido, and Exit presently. 1993Wif. You all know your taskes: gods my life, whats that
1994hee has got vpon's backe
? who can tell
? 1995Geo. That can I, but I will not.
1996Wife. Girt about him like a mad-man: what: has he lo
st 1997his cloake too; this is the madde
st fa
shion that ere I
sawe:
1998what
said he
George when he pa
sde by thee
? G 4 Geor.
THE CONVERTED
1999Geo. Troth Mi
stris, nothing: not
so much as a Bee, he did
2000not hum
: not
so much as a bawd he did not hem: not
so
2001much as a Cuckhold he did not ha: neither hum, hem, nor ha,
2002onely
star'de me in the face, pa
st along, and made ha
st in, as if
2003my lookes had workt with him, to giue him a
stoole.
2004Wi. Sure hees vext now, this trick has mou'd his
speene.
2005Hees angred now, becau
se he vttered nothing:
2006And wordle
sse wrath breakes out more violent,
2007May be heele
striue for place, when he comes downe,
2008But if thou lou'
st me
George, a
ffoord him none.
2009Geo. Nay let me alone to play my mai
sters prize, as long as
2010my Mi
stri
sse warrants me: Ime
sure I haue his be
st cloathes
2011on, and I
scorne to giue place to any that is inferiour in appa
- 2012rell to me, thats an Axiom, a principle, & is ob
seru'd as much
2013as the fa
shion; let that per
swade you then, that Ile
shoulder
2014with him for the vpper hand in the
shop, as long as this
2015chaine will maintaine it.
2016Wif. Spoke with the
spirit of a Mai
ster, tho with the
2017tongue of a Prenti
se.
2018Enter Candido like a Prentise. 2019Why how now mad man
? what in your trick
sicoates!
2020Cand. O peace good Mi
stri
sse
: 2021Enter Crambo and Poh. 2022See what you lack, what i
st you buy? pure Callicoes,
fine
2023Hollands, choi
se Cambrickes, neate Lawnes:
see what you
2024buy? pray come neere, my Mai
ster will v
se you well, hee can
2025a
ffoord you a pennyworth.
2026Wi. I that he can, out of a whole peece of Lawne yfaith.
2027Cand. Pray
see your choi
se here Gentlemen.
2028Wi. O
fine foole? what a mad-man? a patient mad-man?
2029who euer heard of the like? well
sir Ile
fit you and your hu
- 2030mour pre
sently: what? cro
sse-points, Ile vntie em all in a trice,
2031Ile vex you faith. Boy take your cloake, quick, come.
Exit. 2032Cand. Be couered
George, this chaine, and welted gowne,
2033Bare to this coate: then the worlds vp
side downe.
2035Cram. Thats the
shop, and theres the fellow.
2036Poh. I but the Mai
ster is walking in there.
Cram.
CVRTIZAN.
2037Cram. No matter, weele in.
2038Poh. Sbloud doe
st long to lye in Limbo?
2039Cram. And Limbo be in hell, I care not.
2040Cand. Looke you Gentlemen, your choi
se: Cambricks?
2041Cramb. No
sir,
some
shirting.
2043Cram. Haue you none of this
strip'd Canuas for doublets.
2044Cand. None
strip'd
sir, but plaine.
20452. Pren. I thinke there be one peece
stri'pd within.
2046Geo. Step
sirra and fetch it, hum, hum, hum.
2047Cand. Looke you Gentlemen, Ile make but one
spred
- 2048ding, heres a peece of cloth.
fine, yet
shall weare like Yron, tis
2049without fault, take this vpon my word, tis without fault.
2050Cram. Then tis better than you
sirra.
2051Cand. I, and a number more. ô that each
soule
2052Were but as
spotle
sse as this Innocent white,
2053And had as few brakes in it.
2054Cram. Twould haue
some then: there was a
fray here la
st 2056Cand. There was indeed a little
flea-biting.
2057Poh. A Gentleman had his pate broake, call you that but
2060Cram. Zownes doe you
stand in't
He strikes him. 2061Geo. Sfoot clubs, clubs, prentices, downe with em, ah you
2062roagues,
strike a Cittizen in's
shop.
2063Cand. None of you
stir I pray, forbeare good
George.
2064Cram. I be
seech you
sir, we mi
stooke our markes, deliuer
2066Geo. Your head bleeds
sir, crie clubes.
2067Cand. I
say you
shall not, pray be patient,
2068Giue them their weapons,
sirs you're be
st be gone.
2069I tell you here are boyes more tough then Beares:
2070Hence. lea
st more
fists do walke about your eares.
2071Both. We thanke you
sir.
Exeunt. 2072Can. You
shall not follow them.
2073Let them alone pray, this did me no harme,
2074Troth I was cold, and the blow made me warme,
H I thanke
THE CONVERTED
2075I thanke em for't
: be
sides I had decreed
2076To haue a vaine prickt, I did meane to bleede,
2077So that theres mony
sau'd
: they are hone
st men,
2078Pray v
se em well, when they appeare agen.
2079Geo. Yes
sir, weele v
se em like hone
st men.
2080Cand. I well
said
George, like hone
st men, tho they be ar
- 2081rant knaues, for thats the phra
se of the citty; helpe to lay vp
2083Enter Candido's wife, with Officers. 2084Wife. Yonder he
stands.
2085Off What in a Prenti
se-coate?
2086Wif. I, I, mad, mad, pray take heed.
2087Cand. How now? what newes with them? what make they
2088with my wife
? o
fficers
? is
she attachd? looke to your wares.
2089Wif. He talkes to him
selfe, oh hees much gone indeed.
2090Off. Pray pluck vp a good heart, be not
so fearfull,
2091Sirs hearke, weele gather to him by degrees.
2092Wi. I, I. by degrees I pray: oh me! what makes he with
2093the Lawne in his hand, heele teare all the ware in my
shop.
2094Off. Feare not weele catch him on a
sudden.
2095Wi. O you had need do
so, pray take heed of your warrant
2096Off. I warrant mi
stris. -- Now Signior
Candido? 2097Cand. Now
sir, what newes with you
sir?
2098Wi. What newes with you he
sayes: oh hees far gon.
2099Off. I pray feare nothing, lets alone with him,
2100Signior, you looke not like your
selfe me thinkes,
2101(Steale yon a tother
side) y'are changde, y'are altred.
2102Cand. Changde
sir, why true
sir, is change
strange, tis not
2103the fa
shion vnle
sse it alter: Monarkes turne to beggers; beg
- 2104gers creepe into the ne
sts of Princes, Mai
sters
serue their
2105prenti
ses: Ladies their Seruingmen, men turne to women.
2106Off. And women turne to men.
2107Cand. I, and women turne to men, you
say true, ha ha, a
2108mad world, a mad world.
2109Off. Haue we caught you
sir?
2110Cand. Caught me
: well, well: you haue caught: me.
2111Wi. Hee laughes in your faces.
Geo
CVRTIZAN.
2112Geo. A re
scue Prenti
ses, my mai
ster's catch-pold.
2113Off. I charge you keepe the peace, or haue your legs gar
- 2114tered with Yrons, we haue
from the Duke a warrant
strong
2115enough for what we doe.
2116Cand. I pray re
st quiet, I de
sire no re
scue.
2117Wi. La: he de
sires no re
scue, las poore heart,
2118He talkes again
st him
selfe.
2119Cand. Well, whats the matter?
2120Off. Looke to that arme,
2121Pray make
sure worke, double the cord.
2123Wi. Looke how his head goes!
should he get but loo
se,
2124Oh twere as much as all our liues were worth.
2125Off. Feare not, weele make all
sure for our owne
safetie.
2126Cand. Are you at lei
sure now? well, whats the matter
? 2127Why do I enter into bonds thus? ha?
2128Off. Becau
se y'are mad, put feare vpon your wife.
2129Wi. Oh I, I went in danger of my life, euery minute.
2130Cand. What? am I mad
say you, and I not know it?
2131Off. That proues you mad, becau
se you know it not.
2132Wi. Pray talke as little to him as you can,
2133You
see hees too farre
spent.
2134Cand. Bound with
strong corde
! 2135A Si
sters thred yfaith had beene enough,
2136To lead me any where
: Wife do you long?
2137You are mad too, or els you do me wrong.
2138Geo. But are you mad indeed Mai
ster?
2139Cand. My Wife
sayes
so,
2140And what
she
sayes;
George, is all trueth you know:
2141And whether now? to
Bethlem Monastery? -- ha! whether?
2142Off. Faith eene to the mad-mens pound.
2143Cand. A Gods name,
still I feele my patience
sound.
Exe. 2144Geo. Come weele
see whether he goes, if the mai
ster be
2145mad, we are his
seruants, and mu
st follow his
steps, weele
2146be mad caps too; Farewell mi
stri
sse, you
shall haue vs all in
2148Wi. I thinke, I ha
fitted now, you and your clothes,
2149If this moue not his patience, nothing can,
H 2 Ile
THE CONVERTED
2150Ile
sweare then I haue a
saint, and not a man.
Exit. 2152Enter Duke: Doctor, Fluello, Castruchio, Pioratto. 2153Duk. Giue vs a little leaue: Do
ctor your newes,
2154Doc. I
sent for him my Lord
: at la
st he came,
2155And did receiue all
speech that went
from me,
2156As gilded pilles made to prolong his health:
2157My credit with him wrought it: for,
some men,
2158Swallow euen empty hookes, like fooles, that feare
2159No drowning where tis deepe
st, cau
se tis cleare:
2160In th'end we
sat and eate: a health I dranke
2161To
Infaelices sweete departed
soule,
2162(This traine I knew would take.)
2164Doc. He fell with
such deuotion on his knees.
2166Duk. Fond
super
stitious foole?
2167Doc. That had he beene in
flam'd with zeale of prayer;
2168He could not power't out with more reuerence:
2169About my necke he hung, wept on my cheeke.
2170Ki
st it, and
swore, he would adore my lippes,
2171Becau
se they brought forth
Infaelices name.
2172Duk. Ha, ha, alack, alack.
2173Doc. The cup he lifts vp high, and thus he
said,
2174Here noble maid: drinkes, and was poi
soned.
2176Doc. And dyed my Lord.
2177Duk. Thou in that word,
2178Ha
st peec'd mine aged houres out with more yeares,
2179Than thou ha
st taken
from
Hipolito,
2180A noble youth he was, but le
sser branches
2181Hindring the greaters growth, mu
st be lopt o
ff,
2182And feede the
fier: Do
ctor w'are now all thine,
2183And v
se vs
so
: be bold.
2184Doc. Thankes gracious Lord:
Doc.
CVRTIZAN.
2187Doc. I doe be
seech your grace to bury deepe,
2188This bloudy a
ct of mine.
2189Duk. Nay, nay, for that,
2190Do
ctor looke you toot: me it
shall not moue,
2191Thei'r curs'de that ill doe, not that ill do loue,
2192Doc. You throw an angry forehead on my face,
2193But be you pleas'd, backward thus far to looke,
2194That for your good this euill I vndertooke,
2195Duk. I, I, we con
ster
so
: 2196Doc. And onely for your loue.
2197Duk. Confe
st: tis true.
2198Doc. Nor let it
stand again
st me as a bar,
2199To thru
st me
from your pre
sence: nor beleeue
2200(As Princes haue quicke thoughts,) that now my
finger
2201Being dipt in blood, I will not
spare the hand,
2202But that for gold (as what can golde not doe?)
2203I may be hi'rde to worke the like on you,
2204Duk. Which to preuent--.
2205Doc. Tis
from my hart as far.
2206Duk. No matter Do
ctor, cau
se ile feareles
sleepe,
2207And that you
shall
stand cleare of that
su
spition
2208I bani
sh thee for euer
from my court.
2209This principle is old but true as fate,
2210Kings may loue trea
son, but the traitor hate,
Exit. 2211Doc. I
st so? nay then Duke, your
stale principle
2212With one as
stale, the Do
ctor thus
shall quit,
2213He fals him
selfe that dig anothers pit,
2214How now: where is he
? will he meete me
: 2215Enter the Doctors man. 2216Doc. man. meete you
sir? he might haue met with three
2217fencers in this time and haue receiued le
sse hurt then by mee
- 2218ting one Do
ctor of Phi
sicke: why
sir has walkt vnder the old
2219Abbey wall yonder this houre, till hees more colde then a
2220Citizens country hou
se in Ianiuere, you may
smell him be
- 2221hinde
sir; la you: yonder he comes.
2222Doc. leaue me.
Enter Hipolito. 2223Doc. man. Ith lurch if you will.
Exit. 2224Do. O my mo
st noble
friend.
H 3 Hip. Few
THE CONNVERTED
2225Hip. Few but your
selfe,
2226Could haue inticd me thus, to tru
st the Aire,
2227With my clo
se
sighes, you
send for me: what newes
? 2228Doc. Come you mu
st do
ff this blacke
: die that pale cheeke,
2229Into his owne colour; goe
: Attire your
selfe
2230Fre
sh as a bridegroome, when he meetes his bride,
2231The Duke has done much trea
son to thy loue,
2232Tis now reuealed, tis now to be reuengde,
2233Be mery honord
friend, thy Lady liues.
2235Doc. Infaelice, Shees reuiude;
2236Reuiude: alacke! death neuer had the hart,
2237To take breath
from her.
2238Hip. Vmh: I thanke you
sir,
2239Phi
sicke prolongs life, when it cannot
saue,
2240This helpes not my hopes. mine are in their graue:
2241You doe
some wrong to mocke me.
2243Which I haue euer borne you, what I
speake
2244Is trueth: the maiden liues: that funerall,
2245Dukes teares, the mourning, was all counterfet,
2246A
sleepy draught cozend the world and you,
2247I was his mini
ster and then chambred vp,
2249Hip. O trecherous Duke:
2250Doc. He cannot hope
so certainely for bli
sse:
2251As he beleeues that I haue poy
sond you,
2252He woode me toot, I yeelded, and con
firm'd him,
2253In his mo
st bloudy thoughts.
2255Doc. Her did he clo
sely coach to
Bergamo,
2257Hip. Will I ride,
stood
Bergamo,
2258In the low countries of blacke hell, ile to her.
2259Doc. You
shall to her, but not to
Bergamo,
2260How pa
ssion makes you
fly beyond your
selfe.
2261Much of that weary iourney I'ha cut o
ff,
2262For
she by letters hath intelligence,
Of
CVRTIZAN.
2263Of your
suppo
sed death, her owne interment,
2264And all tho
se plots, which that fal
se Duke, (her father)
2265Has wrought again
st you
: And
sheele meete you.
2267Doc. Nay
see: how couetous are your de
sires,
2268Earely to morrow morne.
2269Hip. O where good father.
2270Doc. At
Bethlem mona
sterie: are you plea
sd now
? 2271Hip, At
Bethlem mona
sterie: the place well
fits,
2272It is the
scoole where tho
se that loo
se their wits,
2273Pra
cti
se againe to get them: I am
sicke
2274Of that di
sea
se, all loue is lunaticke.
2275Doc. Weele
steale away (this night) in
some di
sgui
se,
2276Father
Anselmo, a mo
st reuerend Frier,
2277Expe
cts our comming, before whom weele lay,
2278Rea
sons
so
strong, that he
shall yeeld, in bands,
2279Of holy wedlocke, to tie both your hands.
2280Hip. This is
such happine
sse
: 2281That to beleeue it. tis impo
ssible.
2282Doc. Let all your ioyes then die in misbeliefe,
2283I will reueale no more.
2284Hip. O yes good father,
2285I am
so well acquainted with de
spaire,
2286I know not how to hope: I beleeue all.
2287Doc. Weele hence this night, much mu
st be done, much (
said
2288But if the Do
ctor faile not in his charmes,
2289Your Lady
shall ere morning
fill the
se armes.
2290Hip. heauenly Phi
sition: far thy fame
shall
spred,
2291That mak'
st two louers
speake when they be dead.
2293Candido's wife, and George: Pioratto 2295Wi. O watch good
George, watch which way the Duke (comes.
2296Geo. Here comes one of the butter
flies, aske him.
2297Wi. Pray
sir, comes the duke this way.
2298Pio. He's vpon comming mi
stris.
Exit. 2299Wi. I thanke you
sir:
Geroge are there many madfolkes,
2300where thy Mai
ster lies.
H 4 Geor
THE CONVERTED
2301Geo. O yes, of all countries
some, but e
specially mad greekes
2302they
swarme: troth mi
stris, the world is altered with you,
2303you had not wont to
stand thus with a paper humbly com
- 2304playning: but you're well enough
seru'd: prouander prickt
2305you, as it does many of our Citty-wiues be
sides.
2306Wif. Do
st thinke
George we
shall get him forth.
2307Geo. Truly mi
stris I cannot tel, I thinke youle hardly get him
2308forth: why tis
strange! Sfoot I haue known many womē that
2309haue had mad ra
scals to their husbāds, whom they would be
- 2310labour by all meanes po
ssible to keepe em in their right wits,
2311but of a woman to long to turne a tame mā into a madman.
2312why the diuell him
selfe was neuer v
sde
so by his dam.
2313Wif. How does he talke
George! ha! good
George tell me.
2314Geo. Why youre be
st go
see.
2315Wif. Alas I am a
fraid.
2316Geo. A
fraid! you had more need be a
shamd
: he may ra
- 2317ther be a
fraid of you.
2318Wif. But
George hees not
starke mad, is hee? hee does not
2319raue, hees not horne-mad
George is he?
2320Geo. Nay I know not that, but he talkes like a Iu
stice of
2321peace. of a thou
sand matters and to no purpo
se.
2322Wif. Ile to the mona
stery
: I
shall be mad till I inioy him,
2323I
shalbe
sick till I
see him, yet when I doe
see him, I
shall
2325Geo. I ide faine
see a woman weepe out her eyes; thats as
2326true, as to
say, a mans cloake burnes; when it hangs in the
2327water: I know youle weepe mi
stri
sse: but what
saies the pain
- 2328ted cloth.
Trust not a woman when she cries. 2329 For sheele pump water from her eyes. 2330 With a wet finger, and in faster showers, 2331 Then Aprill when he raines downe flowers. 2332Wif. I but
George, that painted cloath is worthy to be
2333hangd vp for lying, all women haue not teares at will, vnle
sse
2334they haue good cau
se.
2335Geo. I but mi
stri
sse how ea
sily will they
find a cau
se, and
2336as one of our Chee
se-trenchers
sayes very learnedly
: 2337 As out of Wormwood Bees suck Hony, 2338 As from poore clients Lawyers firke mony, As
CVRTIZAN.
2339 As Parsley from a roasted cunny. 2340 So tho the day be nere so sunny, 2341 If wiues will haue it raine, downe then it driues, 2342 The calmest husbands make the stormest wiues. 2343Wif. Tame
George, but I ha don
storming now.
2344Geo. Why thats well done, good mi
stris throw a
side this
2345fa
shion of your humor, be not
so phanta
sticall in wearing it,
2346storme no more, long no more.-This longing has made you
2347come
short of many a good thing that you might haue had
2348from my Mai
ster
: Here comes the Duke.
2349Enter Duke, Fluello, Pioratto, Sinere. 2350Wife. Oh I be
seech you pardon my o
ffence,
2351In that I dur
st abu
se your Graces warrant,
2352Deliuer foorth my husband good my Lord.
2353Duke. Who is her husband?
2354Flu. Candido my Lord.
Duke. Where is he?
2355Wife. Hees among the lunaticks,
2356He was a man made vp without a gall,
2357Nothing could moue him, nothing could conuert
2358His meeke bloud into fury, yet like a mon
ster,
2359I often beat at the mo
st con
stant rock
2360Of his vn
shaken patience, and did long
2361To vex him.
Duke. Did you
so
? 2362Wife. And for that purpo
se,
2363Had warrant
from your Grace, to cary him
2364To
Bethlem Monastery whence they will not
free him,
2365Without your Graces hand that
sent him in.
2366Duke. You haue longd fayre; tis you are mad I feare,
2367Its
fit to fetch him thence, and keepe you there:
2368If he be mad, why would you haue him forth?
2369Geo. And plea
se your grace, hees not
starke mad, but one
- 2370ly talkes like a young Gentleman;
somewhat phanta
stically,
2371thats all: theres a thou
sand about your court, citty and
2372countrie, madder then he.
2373Duke. Prouide a warrant, you
shall haue our hand.
2374Geo. Heres a warrant ready drawne my Lord.
2375Cast. Get pen & inck, get pen & inck:
Enter Castruchio. 2376Cast Where is my Lord the Duke?
2377Duke. How now? more mad men.
I Cast.
THE CONVERTED
2378Cast. I haue
strange newes my Lord.
2379Duk. Of what? of whom
? 2380Cast. Of
Infaelice, and a mariage.
2381Du. Ha! where? with whom.
2382Cast. Hipolito.
Geo. Here my Lord.
2383Du. Hence with that woman, voyd the roome.
2384Flu. Away, the Duke's vext.
2385Geo. Whoop, come mi
stris the Duke's mad too.
Exeunt. 2386Du. Who told me that
Hipolito was dead?
2387Cast. He that can make any man dead, the Do
ctor: but
2388my Lord, hees as full of life as wilde-
fire; and as quick:
Hipo- 2389lito, the Do
ctor, and one more rid hence this euening; the
2390Inne at which they light is
Bethlem Monastarie: Infaeliche 2391comes
from
Bergamo, and meetes them there
: Hipolito is
2392mad, for he meanes this day to be maryed, the after-noone is
2393the houre, and Frier
Anselmo is the knitter.
2394Du. From
Bergamo? i
st po
ssible? it cannot be,
2396Cast. I will not
sweare my Lord,
2397But this intelligence I tooke
from one,
2398Who
se braines workes in the plot.
2399Du. Whats he?
Cast. Mathaeo.
2400Flu. Mathaeo knowes all.
Pio. Hees
Hipolitoes bo
some.
2401Duke. How farre
stands
Bethlem hence?
2402Omn. Six or
seauen miles.
2403Duke. I
st euen
so, not maried till the afternoone you
say
? 2404Stay,
stay, lets worke out
some preuention: how:
2405This is mo
st strange, can none but mad-men
serue
2406To dre
sse their wedding dinner? All of you,
2407Get pre
sently to hor
se; di
sgui
se your
selues
2408Like Countrie-Gentlemen,
2409Or riding cittizens, or
so: and take
2410Each man a
seuerall path, but let vs meete,
2411At
Bethlem Monasterie,
some
space of time
2412Being
spent betweene the arriuall each of other,
2413As if we came to
see the Lunaticks.
2414To hor
se, away, be
secret on your liues,
2415Loue mu
st be puni
sht that vniu
stly thriues.
Exeunt. 2416Flu. Be
secret on your liues!
Castruchio Y'are
CVRTIZAN.
2417Y'are but a
scuruy Spaniell; hone
st Lord,
2418Good Lady: Zounds their loue is iu
st, tis good,
2419And Ile preuent you, tho I
swim in bloud.
Exit. 2420Enter Frier Anselmo, Hipolito, Mathaeo, Infaeliche. 2421Hip. Nay, nay, re
solue good father, or deny.
2422Ans. You pre
sse me to an a
ct, both full of danger,
2423And full of happine
sse, for I behold.
2424Your fathers
frownes, his threats, nay perhaps death,
2425To him that dare doe this, yet noble Lord,
2426Such comfortable beames breake through the
se clowdes,
2427By this ble
st mariage, that your honord word
2428Being pawnd in my defence) I will tie fa
st,
2429The holy wedding Knot.
Hip. Tu
sh feare not the Duke.
2430Ans. O
sonne, wi
sely to feare: Is to be
free
from feare.
2431Hip. You haue our words, and you
shall haue our liues,
2432To guard you
safe
from all en
suing danger.
2433Ma. I, I, chop em vp and away.
2434Ans. Stay, when i
st fit for me,
safe
st for you,
2435To entertaine this bu
sines.
2436Hip. Not till the euening.
2437Ans. Be't
so, there is a chappell
stands hard by,
2438Vpon the We
st end of the Abbey wall,
2439Thether conuay your
selues, and when the
sunne
2440Hath turnd his back vpon this vpper world,
2441Ile mary you, that done, no thnndring voice,
2442Can breake the
sacred bond, yet Lady here you are mo
st safe.
2443Infae. Father your lou's mo
st deere.
2444Mat. I well
said locke vs into
some little roome by our
2445selues that we may be mad for an houre or two.
2446Hip. O good
Mathaeo no, lets make no noi
se.
2447Mat. How! no noi
se! do you know where you are: sfoot
2448amon
st all the mad-caps in
Millan:
so that to throw the hou
se
2449out at window will be the better, & no man will
su
spe
ct that
2450we lurke here to
steale mutton: the more
sober we are, the
2451more
scuruy tis. And tho the Frier tell vs, that heere we are
2452safe
st, i'me not of his minde, for if tho
se lay here that had lo
st 2453there mony, none would euer looke after them, but heare are
2454none but tho
se that haue lo
st their wits, o that if hue and cry
2455be made, hether theile come, and my rea
son is, becau
se none
I 2 goes
THE CONVERTED
2456goes to be married till he be
starke mad.
2457Hip. Mu
ffle your
selues yonders
Fluello.
Enter Fluello. 2459Flu. O my Lord the
se cloakes are not for this raine, the
2460tempe
st is too great
: I come
sweating to tell you of it, that
2461you may get out of it.
2462Mat. Why whats the matter.
2463Flu. Whats the matter! you haue matterd it faire: the (Duk's at hand.
2466Hip. Then all our plots
2467Are turnd vpon our heads; and we are blown vp:
2468With our own vnderminings. Sfoot how comes he,
2469What villaine dur
st betray our being here.
2470Flu: Castruchio,
Castruchio tolde the Duke, and
Mathaeo 2471here told
Castruchio.
2472Hip. Would you betray me to
Castruchio,
2473Ma. Sfoot he dambd him
selfe to the pit of hell if he
spake (ont agen.
2474Hip. So did you
sweare to me,
so were you dambd.
2475Mat. Pox on em, & there be no faith in men, if a man
shall
2476not beleeue oathes: he tooke bread and
salt by this light, that
2477he would neuer open his lips.
Hip. Oh God, oh God.
2478Ans. Sonne be not de
sperate,
2479Haue patience, you
shal trip your enemy downe:
2480By his owne
sleights, how far is the Duke hence.
2481Flu. Hees but new
set out
: Castruchio,
Pioratto and
Sinezi 2482come along with him: you haue time enough yet to preuent
2483them if you haue but courage.
2484Ans. You
shall
steale
secretly into the Chappell,
2485And pre
sently be maried, if the duke
2486Abide here
still,
spite of ten thou
sand eyes,
2487You
shall
scape hence like Friers.
2488Hip. O ble
st di
sgui
se: O happy man.
2489Ans. Talke not of happine
sse till your clo
sde hand,
2490Haue her bith'forhead, like the locke of time,
2491Be not to
slow, nor ha
sty, now you clime,
2492Vp to the towre of bli
sse, onely be wary
2493And patient, thats all, if you like my plot
2494Build and di
spatch, if not, farewell, then not.
Hip.
CVRTIZAN.
2495Hip. O Yes, we doe applaud it, weele di
spute
2496No longer, but will hence and execute.
2497Fluello youle
stay here, let vs be gon,
2498The ground that
frighted louers tread vpon,
2499Is
stucke with thornes.
2500Ans. Come then, away
: tis meete,
2501To e
scape tho
se thornes, to put on winged feete.
Exeunt. 2502Mat. No words I pray
Fluello, for it
stands vs vpon.
2503Flu. Oh
sir, let that be your le
sson.
2504Alas poore louers, on what hopes and feares,
2505Men to
sse them
selues for women, when
shees got
2506The be
st has in her that which plea
seth not.
2507Enter to Fluello, the Duke, Castruchio, Pioratto and 2508Sinezi from seuerall dores muffled. 2509Duk. Who
se there
! Cast. My Lord.
2510Duk. Peace,
send that Lord away,
2511A Lord
ship will
spoile all, lets be all fellowes.
2512Whats he.
Cast. Fluello, or els
Sinezi by his little legs.
2513Omn. All
friends, all
friends.
2514Duk. What
! met vpon the very point of time,
2515Is this the place.
Pio. This is the place my Lord.
2516Duke. Dreame you on Lord
ships! come no more Lordes: (pray,
2517You haue not
seene the
se louers yet.
Omn. Not yet.
2518Duk. Castruchio art thou
sure this wedding feate,
2519Is not till afternoone?
2520Cast. So tis giuen out my Lord.
2521Duk. Nay, nay, tis like, theeues mu
st ob
serue their houres,
2522Louers watch minuts like A
stronomers,
2523How
shall the
Interim houres by vs be
spent.
2524Flu. Lets all goe
see the mad-men.
2525Omn. Mas content.
Enter Towne like a sweeper. 2526Duk. Oh here comes one, que
stion him, que
stion him.
2527Flu. How now hone
st fellow do
st thou belong to the hou
se.
2528Tow. Yes for
sooth, I am one of the implements; I
swepe the
2529madmens roomes, and fetch
straw for em, and buy chaines
2530to tie em, & rods to whip em, I was a mad wag my
selfe here
2531once, but I thanke father
Anselm he la
sht me into my right (minde agen.
2532Duk. Anselmo is the Frier mu
st marry them
2533Que
stion him where he is
I 3 Cast.
THE CONVERTED
2534Cast. And where is father
Anselmo now?
2535Tow. Mary hees gon but eene now.
2536Duk. I, well done, tell me, whether is he gone?
2537Tow. Why to God a mighty.
2538Flu. Ha, ha, this fellow is a foole, talkes idlelie.
2539Pio. Sirra are all the mad folkes in
Millan brought hither
? 2540Tow. How all, theres a wi
se que
stion indeede
: why if al the
2541mad folkes in
Millan should come hither, there would not be
2542left ten men in the Citty.
2543Duk. Few gentlemen or Courtiers here, ha.
2544Tow. Oh yes? abundance, aboundance, lands no
sooner fall
2545into their hands, but
straight they runne out a their wits: Ci
- 2546tizēs
sons & heires are
free of the hou
se by their fathers copy
: 2547Farmers
sons come hither like gee
se (in
flocks) & when they
2548ha
sould all their corne
fields, here they
sit & picke the
straws.
2549Sin. Me thinks you
should haue women here a
swel as men.
2550Tow. Oh, I: a plague on em, theres no ho with them, they are
2551madder then march haires.
2552Flu. Are there no lawyers here among
st you?
2553Tow. Oh no, not one: neuer any lawyer, we dare not let a
2554lawyer come in, for heele make em mad fa
ster than we can
2556Du. And how long i
st er'e you recouer any of the
se.
2557Tow. Why according to the quantitie of the Moone thats
2558got into em, an Aldermans
sonne will be mad a great while
2559a very great while, e
specially if his
friends left him well, a
2560whore will hardly come to her wits agen: a puritane ther's no
2561hope of him, vnle
sse he may pull downe the
steeple and hang
2562him
selfe it'h bell-ropes.
2563Flu. I perceiue all
sorts of
fish come to your net.
2564Tow. Yes intruth, we haue blockes for all heads, we haue
2565good
store of wilde oates here: for the Courtier is mad at
2566the Cittizen, the Cittizen is madde at the Country man, the
2567shoomaker is mad at the cobler, the cobler at the carman, the
2568punke is mad that the Marchants wife is no whore, the Mar
- 2569chants wife is mad that the puncke is
so common a whore
: 2570gods
so, heres father
Anselmo, pray
say nothing that I tel tales
2571out of the
schoole.
Exit. 2572Omn. God ble
sse you father.
Enter Anselmo. Ans.
CVRTIZAN.
2573Ans. Thanke you gentlemen.
2574Cast. Pray may we
see
some of tho
se wretched Soules,
2575That here are in your keeping?
Ans. Yes
: you
shall,
2576 But gentlemen I mu
st di
sarme you then,
2577There are of mad men, as there are of tame,
2578All humourd not alike
: we haue here
some,
2579So api
sh and phanta
stike, play with a fether,
2580And tho twould greeue a
soule, to
see Gods image,
2581So blemi
sht and defac'd, yet do they a
ct 2582Such anticke and
such pretty lunacies,
2583That
spite of
sorrow they will make you
smile:
2584Others agen we haue like hungry Lions,
2585Fierce as wilde Buls, vntameable as
flies,
2586And the
se haue oftentimes
from
strangers
sides
2587Snatcht rapiers
suddenly, and done much harme,
2588Whom if youle
see, you mu
st be weaponle
sse.
2589Omn. With all our harts.
2590Ans. Here: take the
se weapons in,
2591Stand of a little pray,
so,
so, tis well:
2592Ile
shew you here a man that was
sometimes,
2593A very graue and wealthy Cittizen,
2594Has
serud a prenti
ship to this misfortune,
2595Bin here
seuen yeares, and dwelt in
Bergamo.
2596Duke. How fell he
from him
selfe?
2597Ans. By lo
sse at Sea:
2598Ile
stand a
side, que
stion him you alone,
2599For if he
spy me, heele not
speake a word,
2600Vnle
sse hees throughly vext.
Discouers an old man, wrapt in a Net. 2601Flu. Alas poore
soule.
2602Cast. A very old man.
Duk. God
speed father.
26031. Mad. God
speed the plough: thou
shalt not
speed me.
2604Pio. We
see you old man, for all you daunce in a net.
26051. Mad. True, but thou wilt daunce in a halter, & I
shal not (
see thee.
2606Ans. O, doe not vex him pray.
2607Cast. Are you a Fi
sherman father?
26081. Mad. No, i'me neither
fish nor
fle
sh.
2609Flu. What do you with that net then
? 26101. Mad. Doe
st not
see foole! theres a
fre
sh Salmon in't: if
2611you
step one foot furder, youle be ouer
shoes, for you
see ime
I 4 oue
THE CONVERTED
2612ouer head & ear in the
salt-water: & if you fall into this whirl
- 2613poole where I am, y'are drownd: y'are a drownd rat. -- I am
2614fishing here for
fiue
ships, but I cannot haue a good draught,
2615for my net breakes
still, and breakes, but Ile breake
some of
2616your necks & I catch you in my clutches. Stay,
stay,
stay,
stay,
2617stay - wheres the wind, wheres the wind, wheres the winde
: 2618wheres the winde: out you guls, you goo
se-caps, you
2619gudgeon eaters! do you looke for the wind in the heauens?
2620ha ha ha ha, no no, looke there, looke there, looke there, the
2621winde, is alwayes at that doore: hearke how it blowes, poo
ff 2622poo
ff, poo
ff.
Omn. Ha ha ha.
26231. Mad. Do you laught at Gods creatures
? do you mock old
2624age you roagues? is this gray beard and head counterfet, that
2625you cry ha ha ha?-- Sirra, art not thou my elde
st sonne
? 2626Pior. Yes indeed father.
26271. Mad. Then th'art a foole, for my elde
st sonne had a polt
2628foote, crooked legs, a vergis face, and a peare-collourd beard;
2629I made him a
scholler, and he made him
selfe a foole.-- Sirra!
2630thou there
? hould out thy hand.
Duk. My hand, wel, here tis.
26311. Mad. Looke, looke, looke, looke: has he not long nailes,
2632and
short haire?
Flu. Yes mon
strous
short haire, and abho
- 2633minable long nailes.
1. Mad. Ten-peny nailes are they not
? 2634Flu. Yes ten-peny nailes.
26351. Mad. Such nailes had my
second boy: kneele downe
2636thou varlet, and aske thy father ble
ssing. Such nailes had my
2637middlemo
st sonne and I made him a Promoter: & he
scrapt,
2638&
scrapt, &
scrapt, till he got the diuell and all: but he
scrapt
2639thus and thus, & thus, and it went vnder his legs, till at length
2640a company of Kites taking him for carion,
swept vp all, all, all,
2641all, all, all, all.--If you loue your liues, looke to your
selues,
2642see,
see,
see,
see, the Turkes gallies are
fighting with my
ships,
2643Bownce goes the guns-oooh
! cry the men
: romble romble
2644goe the waters--Alas
! there
! tis
sunke--tis
sunck: I am vn
- 2645don, I am vndon, you are the dambd Pirates haue vndone
2646me,-- you are bith Lord, you are, you are,
stop em, you are.
2647Ans. Why how now Syrra, mu
st I fall to tame you?
26481. Mad. Tame me? no: ile be madder than a roa
sted Cat:
2649see,
see, I am burnt with gunpowder, the
se are our clo
se
fights.
2650Ans. Ile whip you if you grow vnruly thus.
1. Mad.
THE HONEST WHORE.
26511. Mad. Whip me? out you toad:- whip me
? what iu
stice
2652is this, to whip me becau
se Ime a begger?--Alas
? I am a
2653poore man: a very poore man: I am
starud, and haue had no
2654meate by this light, euer
since the great
floud, I am a poore
2655man.
Ans. Well, well; be quiet and you
shall haue meate.
26561. Mad. I, I, pray do, for looke you, here be my guts: the
se
2657are my ribs,-you may looke through my ribs,--
see how my
2658guts come out--the
se are my red guttes, my very guts, oh, oh!
2659Ansel. Take him in there.
2660Omn. A very pitious
sight.
2661Cast. Father I
see you haue a bu
sie charge.
2662Ans. They mu
st be v
sde like children, plea
sd with toyes,
2663And anon whipt for their vnruline
sse:
2664Ile
shew you now a paire quite di
fferent
2665From him thats gon; he was all words: and the
se
2666Vnle
sse you vrge em,
seldome
spend their
speech,
2667But
saue their tongues-la you-this hithermo
st 2668Fell
from the happy quietne
sse of mind,
2669About a maiden that he loude, and dyed
: 2670He followed her to church, being full of teares,
2671And as her body went into the ground,
2672He fell
starke mad. That is a maryed man,
2673Was iealous of a faire, but (as
some
say)
2674A very vertuous wife, and that
spoild him.
26752. Mad. All the
se are whoremongers & lay with my wife:
2676whore, whore, whore, whore, whore.
26782. Mad. Ga
ffer
shoomaker, you puld on my wiues pumps,
2679and then crept into her panto
fles: lye there, lye there,--this
2680was her Tailer,-you cut out her loo
se-bodied gowne, and put
2681in a yard more then I allowed her, lye there by the
shomaker:
2682ô, mai
ster Do
ctor! are you here
: you gaue me a purgation,
2683and then crept into my wiues chamber, to feele her pul
ses,
2684and you
said, and
she
sayd, and her mayd
said, that they went
2685pit a pat-pit a pat-pit a pat,-Do
ctor Ile put you anon into my
2686wiues vrinall:-heigh, come a loft Iack
? this was her
school
- 2687mai
ster and taught her to play vpon the Virginals, and
still
2688his Iacks leapt vp, vp: you prickt her out nothing but bawdy
K lessons,
THE CONVERTED
2689le
ssons, but Ile prick you all,-Fidler-Do
ctor-Tayler-Shoo
- 2690maker,-Shoomaker-Fidler-Do
ctor-Tayler-
so! lye with my
2692Castr. See how he notes the other now he feedes.
26932. Mad. Giue me
some porridge.
26943. Mad. Ile giue thee none.
26952. Mad. Giue me
some porridge.
26963. Mad. Ile not giue thee a bit,
26972. Mad. Giue me that
flap-dragon.
26983. Mad. Ile not giue thee a
spoonefull: thou lie
st, its no
2699Dragon tis a Parrat, that I bought for my
sweete heart, and
27012. Mad. Heres an Almond for Parrat.
27023. Mad. Hang thy
selfe.
27032. Mad. Heres a roape for Parrat.
27043. Mad. Eate it, for ile eate this.
27052. Mad. Ile
shoote at thee and thow't giue me none.
27072. Mad. Ile run a tilt at thee and thow't giue me none.
27083. Mad. Wut thou? doe and thou dar'
st.
27103. Mad. Ooh! I am
slaine-murder, murder, murder, I am
2711slaine, my braines are beaten out.
2712Ans. How now you villaines, bring me whips: ile whip you
27133. Mad. I am dead, I am
slaine, ring out the bel, for I am dead,
2714Duk. How will you do now
sirra? you ha kild him.
27152. Mad. Ile an
swer't at Se
ssions: he was eating of Almond
2716Butter, and I longd for't: the child had neuer bin deliuered
2717out of my belly, if I had not kild him, Ile an
swer't at
se
ssions,
2718so my wife may be burnt ith hand too.
2719Ans. Take em in both: bury him, for hees dead.
27203. Mad. I indeed, I am dead, put me I pray into a good pit (hole.
27212. Mad. Ile an
swer't at Se
ssions.
Exeunt. 2722Enter Bellafronte mad. 2723Ans. How now hu
swife, whether gad you
? 2724Bell. A nutting for
sooth: how doe you ga
ffer? how doe
2725you ga
ffer? theres a French cur
sie for you too.
2726Flu. Tis
Bellafronte.
Pio.
CVRTIZAN.
2727Pio. Tis the puncke bith Lord.
2728Duk. Father whats
she I pray?
2729Ans. As yet I know not,
2730She came but in this day, talkes little idlely
2731And therefore has the
freedome of the hou
se,
2732Bell. Doe not you know me
? nor you? nor you, nor you?
2734Bell. Then you are an A
sse, and you are an A
sse, and you
2735are an A
sse, for I know you.
2736Ans. Why, what are they
? come
: tell me what are they?
2737Bell. Three
fish-wiues: will you buy any gudgeons! gods
2738santy yonder come Friers, I know them too, how doe you
2740Enter Hipolito, Mathaeo, and Infaeliche disguisde 2741in the Habets of Friers. 2742Ans. Nay, nay, away, you mu
st not trouble Friers.
2743The duke is here
speake nothing.
2744Bell. Nay indeed you
shall not goe: weele run at barlibreak
2745fir
st, and you
shalbe in hell.
2746Mat. My puncke turnd mad whore, as all her fellowes are?
2747Hip. Speake nothing, but
steale hence, when you
spie time.
2748Ans. Ile locke you vp if y'are vnruly
fie
2749Bell. fie! mary fo: they
shall not goe indeed till I ha tolde
2751Duk. Good Father giue her leaue.
2752Bell. I pray, good father, ad Ile giue you my ble
ssing.
2753Ans. Wel then be briefe, but if you are thus vnruly,
2754Ile haue you lockt vp fa
st.
2755Pio. come, to their fortunes.
2756Bell. Let me
see 1. 2. 3. and 4. ile begin with the little Fri
- 2757er
fir
st, heres a
fine hand indeed, I neuer
saw Frier haue
such
2758a dainty hand
: heres a hand for a Lady, you ha good fortune (now
2759O
see,
see what a thred heres
spun,
2760You loue a Frier better then a Nun,
2761Yet long youle loue no Frier, nor no Friers
sonne.
2762Bow a little, the line of life is out, yet i'me a
fraid,
2763For all your holy, youle not die a maide, God giue you ioy.
2764Now to you Frier
Tucke.
2765Mat, God
send me good lucke.
K 2 Bell.
THE CONVERTED
2766Bell. You loue one, and one loues you.
2767You are a fal
se knaue, and
shees a Iew.
2768Here is a Diall that fal
se euer goes.
2769Mat. O your wit drops.
2770Bell. Troth
so does your no
se: nay lets
shake hands with you (too
2771Pray open, hers a
fine hand,
2772Ho Fryer ho, God be here,
2773So he had need: youle keepe good cheere.
2774Heers a
free table, but a
frozen brea
st,
2775For youle
starue tho
se that loue you be
st.
2776Yet you haue good fortune. for if I am no liar,
2777Then you are no Frier, nor you, nor you no Frier
discouers them. 2779Dukd. Are holy habits cloakes for villanie?
2780Draw all your weapons.
2781Hip. doe, draw all your weapons.
2782Duke. Where are your weapons, draw.
2783Omn, The Frier has guld vs of em.
2785You ha learnt one mad point of Arithmaticke.
2786Hip. Why
swels your
spleene
so hie? again
st what bo
some,
2787Would you your weapons draw? hers! tis your daughters:
2788Mine tis your
sonnes?
2790Mat. Sonne, by yonder Sunne.
2791Hip. You cannot
shed bloud here, but tis your owne,
2792To
spill your owne bloud were damnation,
2793 Lay
smooth that wrinckled brow, and I will throw
2794My
selfe beneath your feete,
2795Let it be rugged
still and
flinted o're,
2796What can come forth but
sparkles, that will burne,
2797Your
selfe and vs
? Shees mine; my claimes mo
st good,
2798Ansel: Shees mine by marriage: tho
shees yours by bloud.
2799I haue a hand deare Lord, deepe in this a
ct.
2800For I fore
saw this
storme, yet willingly
2801Put fourth to meete it? Oft haue I
seene a father
2802Wa
shing the wounds of his deare
sonne in teares,
2803A
sonne to cur
se the
sword that
strucke his father.
Both
CVRTIZAN.
2804Both
slaine ith quarrell of your families,
2805Tho
se
scars are now tane o
ff: And I be
seech you,
2806To
seale our pardon, all was to this end
2807To turne the ancient hates of your two hou
ses
2808To
fre
sh greene
friend
ship: that your Loues might looke:
2809Like the
springes forehead, comfortably
sweete,
2810And your vext
soules in peacefull vnion meete.
2811Their bloud will now be yours, yours will be theirs,
2812And happine
sse
shall crowne your
siluer haires.
2813Flu. You
see my Lord theres now no remedy.
2814Omn. Be
seech your Lord
ship.
2815Duk. You be
seech faire, you haue me in place
fit
2816To bridle me, ri
se Frier, you may be glad
2817You can make madmen tame, and tame men mad,
2818Since fate hath conquered, I mu
st re
st content,
2819To
striue now would but ad new puni
shment:
2820I yeeld vnto your happine
sse, be ble
st,
2821Our families,
shall henceforth breath in re
st.
2823Duk. Yours now is my con
sent.
2824I throw vpon your ioyes my full con
sent.
2825Bell. Am not I a
fine fortune-teller
? gods me you are a
2826braue man: will not you buy me
some Suger plums, for tel
- 2827ling how the frier was ith well, will you not?
2828Duk. Would thou had
st wit thou pretty
soule to aske,
2829As I haue will to giue.
2830Bell. Pretty
soule! a pretty
soule is better than a prety body:
2831do not you know my prety
soule?
2833Bell. Looke
fine man, nay? I know you all by your no
ses, he
2834was mad for me once, and I was mad for him once, and he
2835was mad for her once, & were you neuer mad
? yes I warrāt.
2836Is not your name
Matheo.
Mat. Yes Lamb.
2837Bell: Lamb! baa! am I Lamb? there you lie for I am Mutton,
2838I had a
fine iewell once, a very
fine iewell and that naughty
2839man
stoale it away
from me,
fine iewell a very
fine iewell.
2840Duk. What iewell pretty maide.
2841Bell. Maide nay thats a lie, O twas a very rich iewell, harke twas (calde
K 3 a mai-
THE CONVERTED
2842a Maidenhead, and that naughty man had it, had you not lee
-(rer.
2843Mat. Out you mad A
sse away.
2844Duk. Had he thy Maiden-head
? he
shall make thee a
- 2845mends, and marry thee.
2846Bell. Shall he? ô braue Arthur of Bradly then shall he!
2847Duk. And if he beare the minde of a Gentleman,
2849Mat. I thinke I ri
fled her of
some
such paltry Iewell.
2850Duk. Did you? then mary her, you
see the wrong
2851Has led her
spirits into a lunacie.
2852Mat. How, marry her my Lord? sfoot marry a mad-wo
- 2853man: let a man get the tame
st wife he can come by,
sheele be
2854mad enough afterward, doe what he can.
2855Duk. Father
Anselmo here
shall do his be
st,
2856To bring her to her wits, and will you then?
2857Mat. I cannot tell, I may choo
se.
2858Duk. Nay then law
shall compell: I tell you
sir,
2859So much her hard fate moues me: you
should not breath
2860Vnder this ayre, vnle
sse you marryed her.
2861Mat. Well then, when her wits
stand in their right place, (ile mary her.
2862Bell. I thanke your grace,
Mathaeo thou art mine,
2863I am not mad, but put on this di
sgui
se,
2864Onely for you my Lord, for you can tell
2865Much wonder of me, but you are gon
: farewell.
2866Mathaeo thou
fir
st mad
st black,
2867Now make mee white as before, I vow to thee Ime now,
2868As cha
ste as infancy, pure as
Cynthias brow.
2869Hip. I dur
st be
sworne
Mathaeo she's indeed.
2870Mat. Cony-catcht, guld, mu
st I
saile in your
flie-boate,
2871Becau
se I helpt to reare your maine-ma
st fir
st:
2872Plague found you fort,-tis well.
2873The Cuckolds
stampe goes currant in all Nations,
2874Some men haue hornes giuen them at their creations,
2875If I be one of tho
se, why
so: its better
2876To take a common wench, and make her good,
2877Than one that
simpers, and at
fir
st, will
scar
se
2878Be tempted forth ouer the thre
shold dore,
2879Yet in one
sennight, zounds, turnes arrant whore,
Come
CVRTIZAN.
2880Come wench, thou
shalt be mine, giue me thy gols,
2881Weele talke of legges hereafter:
see my Lord,
2882God giue vs ioy.
Omn. God giue you ioy.
2883Enter Candidoes wife and George. 2884Geo. Come mi
stris we are in Bedlam now, mas and
see, we
2885come in pudding-time, for heres the Duke.
2886Wif. My husband good my Lord.
2887Duk. Haue I thy husband?
2888Cast. Its
Candido my Lord, he's here among the lunaticks
: 2889father
Anselmo, pray fetch him forth: this mad-woman is
2890his wife, and tho
shee were not with child, yet did
she long
2891mo
st spitefully to haue her husband, that was patient as
2892Iob, to be more mad then euer was
Orlando, as becau
se
shee
2893would be
sure, he
should turne Iew,
she placed him here in
2894Bethlem, yonder he comes.
2895Enter Candido with Anselmo. 2896Duke. Come hither Signior--Are you mad.
2897Cand. You are not mad.
Duke. Why I know that.
2898Cand. Then may you know, I am not mad, that know
2899You are not mad, and that you are the duke
: 2900None is mad here but one -- How do you wife:
2901What do you long for now? --pardon my Lord.
2902Duke. Why Signior came you hether?
2903Cand. O my good Lord!
2904Shee had lo
st her childes no
se els: I did cut out
2905Penniworths of Lawne, the Lawne was yet mine owne:
2906A carpet was yet my gowne, yet twas mine owne,
2907I wore my mans coate. yet the cloath mine owne,
2908Had a crackt crowne, the crowne was yet mine owne,
2909She
sayes for this Ime mad, were her words true,
2910I
should be mad indeed -- ô fooli
sh skill,
2911Is patience madne
sse? Ile be a mad-man
still.
2912Wife. Forgiue me, and ile vex your
spirit no more.
2913Duk. Come, come, weele haue you
friends, ioyne hearts, (ioyne hands.
2914Cand. See my Lord, we are euen,
2915Nay ri
se, for ill-deeds kneele vnto none but heauen.
2916Duk. Signior, me thinkes, patience has laid on you
2917Such heauy waight, that you
should loath it.
K 4 Duke.
THE CONVERTED
2919Duk. For he who
se bre
st is tender bloud
so coole,
2920That no wrongs heate it, is a patient foole,
2921What comfort do you
finde in being
so calme.
2922Cand. That which greene wounds receiue
frō
soueraigne (balme,
2923Patience my Lord; why tis the
soule of peace:
2924Of all the vertues tis neer
st kin to heauen.
2925It makes men looke like Gods; the be
st of men
2926That ere wore earth about him, was a
su
fferer,
2927A
soft, meeke, patient, humble, tranquill
spirit,
2928The
fir
st true Gentle-man that euer breathd;
2929The
stock of
Patience then cannot be poore,
2930All it de
sires, it has; what Monarch more
? 2931It is the greate
st enemy to law
2932That can be, for it doth embrace all wrongs,
2933And
so chaines vp, lawyers and womens tongues.
2934Tis the perpetuall pri
soners liberty:
2935His walkes and Orchards: 'tis the bond-
slaues
freedome,
2936And makes him
seeme prowd of each yron chaine.
2937As tho he wore it more for
state then paine:
2938It is the beggers Mu
sick, and thus
sings,
2939Although their bodies beg, their
soules are kings:
2940O my dread liege! It is the
sap of bli
sse,
2941Reares vs aloft; makes men and Angels ki
sse,
2942And (la
st of all) to end a hou
should
strife,
2943It is the hunny gain
st a wa
spi
sh wife.
2944Duke. Thou giu'
st it liuely coulours: who dare
say
2945he's mad, who
se words march in
so good aray?
2946Twere
sinne all women
should
such husbands haue.
2947For euery man mu
st then be his wiues
slaue.
2948Come therefore you
shall teach our court to
shine,
2949So calme a
spirit is worth a golden Mine,
2950Wiues (with meeke husbands) that to vex them long,
2951In Bedlam mu
st they dwell, els dwell they wrong.