19601960Enter Condidoes wife, in her shop, and the Wife.
THE HONEST WHORE.
19651965The Senate will leaue wording pre
sently:
196719672. Pre. Yes for
sooth, hees furbu
sht.
19681968Wife. Now as you euer hope to win my fauour,
19691969Throw both your duties and re
spe
cts on him,
19701970With the like awe as if he were your mai
ster,
19711971Let not your lookes betray it with a
smile,
19721972Or ieering glaunce to any cu
stomer,
19731973Keepe a true Setled countenance, and beware,
19741974You laugh not what
soeuer you heare or
see.
197519752. Pren. I warrant you mi
stris, let vs alone for keeping our
19761976countenance: for if I li
st, theres neuer a foole in all
Myllan shal
19771977make me laugh, let him play the foole neuer
so like an A
sse,
19781978whether it be the fat Court foole, or the leane Cittie foole.
19791979Wife. enough then, call downe
George.
19821982Wife. Be redy with your legs then let me
see,
19831983How curtzy would become him: gallantly!
19841984Be
shrew my bloud a proper
seemely man,
19851985Of a choice carriage walkes with a good port,
19861986Geo. I thanke you mi
stris, my back's broad enough, now
19881988Wif Sure I
should thinke it were the lea
st of
sin,
19891989To mi
stake the mai
ster, and to let him in.
19901990Geo. Twere a good Comedy of errors that yfaith.
199119912. Pre. whi
st, whi
st, my mai
ster.
19921992Enter Candido, and Exit presently. 19931993Wif. You all know your taskes: gods my life, whats that
19941994hee has got vpon's backe? who can tell?
19951995Geo. That can I, but I will not.
19961996Wife. Girt about him like a mad-man: what: has he
1997lo
st 1997his cloake too: this is the madde
st fa
shion that ere I
19991998What
said he
George when he pa
sde by thee?
G 4 Geor.
THE HONEST WHORE.
20001999Geo. Troth Mi
stris nothing: not
so much as a Bee, he did
20012000not hum
: not
so much as a bawd he did not hem
: not
so
20022001much as a Cuekold he did not ha
: neither hum, hem, nor ha,
20032002onely
starde me in the face, pa
st along, and made ha
st in, as if
20042003my lookes had workt with him, to giue him a
stoole.
20052004Wi. Sure hees vext now, this trick has mou'd his Spleene,
20062005Hees angred now, becau
se he vttred nothing
: 20072006And wordle
sse wrath breakes out more violent,
20082007May be heele
striue for place, when he comes downe,
20092008But if thou lou'
st me
George, a
ffoord him none.
20102009Geo. Nay let me alone to play my mai
sters prize, as long as
20112010my Mi
stri
sse warrants me
: Ime
sure I haue his be
st clothes
20122011on, and I
scorne to giue place to any that is inferiour in appa
- 20132012rell to me, thats an Axiom, a principle, & is ob
seru'd as much
20142013as the fa
shion; let that per
swade you then, that Ile
shoulder
20152014with him for the vpper hand in the
shop, as long as this
20172016Wi. Spoke with the
spirit of a Mai
ster, tho with the
20202019Why how now mad-man
? what in your trick
sicoates!
20232022See what you lack, what i
st you buy
? pure Callicoes,
fine
20242023Hollands, choi
se Cambrickes, neate Lawnes
: see what you
20252024buy? pray come neere, my Mai
ster will v
se you well, hee can
20272026Wi. I that he can, out of a whole peece of Lawne yfaith.
20282027Cand. Pray
see your choi
se here Gentlemen.
20292028Wi. O
fine foole
? what a mad-man? a patient mad-man
? 20302029who euer heard of the like
? well
sir Ile
fit you and your hu
- 20312030mour pre
sently
: what? cro
sse-points, Ile vntie em all in a trice,
20322031Ile vex you faith
: Boy take your cloake, quick, come.
Exit. 20332032Cand.Be couered
George, this chaine, and welted gowne,
20342033Bare to this coate
: then the worlds vp
side downe.
20362035Cram. Thats the
shop, and theres the fellow.
20372036Poli. I but the Mai
ster is walking in there.
Cram.
THE HONEST WHORE.
20392038Poh. Sbloud doe
st long to lye in Limbo?
20402039Cram. And Limbo be in hell, I care not.
20412040Cand. Looke you Gentlemen, your choi
se: Cambricks?
20442043Cram. Haue you none of this
strip'd Canuas for doublets.
20452044Cand. None
strip'd
sir, but plaine.
204620452. Pren. I thinke there be one peece
strip'd within.
20472046Geo. Step
sirra and fetch it, hum, hum hum.
20482047Cand. Looke you Gentlemen, Ile make but one
spred
- 20492048ding, heres a peece of cloth,
fine, yet
shall weare like Yron, tis
20502049without fault, take this vpon my word, tis without fault.
20512050Cram. Then tis better than you
sirra.
20522051Cand. I, and a number more, ô that each
soule
20532052Were but as
spotle
sse as this Innocent white,
20552054Cram. Twould haue
some then: there was a
fray here la
st 20572056Cand. There was indeed a little
flea-biting.
20582057Poh. A Gentleman had his pate broake, call you that but
20612060Cram. Zownes doe you
stand in't
? He strikes him. 20622061Geo. Sfoot clubs, clubs, prentices, downe with em, ah you
20632062roagues,
strike a Citizen in's
shop.
20642063Cand. None of you
stir I pray, forbeare good
George.
20652064Cram. I be
seech you
sir, we mi
stooke our markes, deliuer
20672066Geo. Your head bleeds
sir, cry clubs.
20682067Cand. I
say you
shall not, pray be patient,
20692068Giue them their weapons,
sirs you're be
st be gone,
20702069I tell you here are boyes more tough then Beares
: 20712070Hence, lea
st more
fists do walke about your eares.
20722071Both. We thanke you
sir.
Exeunt, 20742073Let them alone pray, this did me no harme,
20752074Troth I was cold, and the blow made me warme,
H I thanke
THE HONEST WHORE.
20762075I thanke em for't
: be
sides I had decreed
20772076To haue a vaine prickt, I did meane to bleede,
20782077So that theres mony
sau'd
: they are hone
st men,
20792078Pray v
se em well, when they appeare agen.
20802079Geo. Yes
sir, weele v
se em like hone
st men.
20812080Cand. I well
said
George, like hone
st men, tho they be ar
- 20822081rant knaues, for thats the prai
se of the citty; helpe to lay vp
20872086Wif. I, I, mad, mad, pray take heed.
20882087Cand. How now? what newes with them? what make they
20892088with my wife
? o
fficers is
she attachd? looke to your wares.
20902089Wif. He talkes to him
selfe, oh hees much gone indeed.
20912090Off. Pray pluck vp a good heart, be not
so fearfull,
20922091Sirs hearke, weele gather to him by degrees.
20932092Wi. I, I, by degrees I pray: oh me! what makes he with
20942093the Lawne in his hand, heele teare all the ware in my
shop.
20952094Off. Feare not weele catch him on a
sudden.
20962095Wi. O you had need do
so, pray take heed of your warrant
20972096Off. I warrant mi
stris.-- Now Signior
Candido? 20982097Cand. Now
sir, what newes with you
sir?
20992098Wi. What newes with you he
sayes: oh hees far gon.
21002099Off. I pray feare nothing, lets alone with him,
21012100Signior, you looke not like your
selfe me thinkes,
21022101(Steale you a tother
side) y'are changde, y'are altred.
21032102Cand. Changde
sir, why true
sir, is change
strange, tis not
21042103the fa
shion vnle
sse it alter: Monarkes turne to beggers; beg
- 21052104gers creepe into the ne
sts of Princes, Mai
sters
serue their
21062105prenti
ses: Ladies their Seruingmen, men turne to women.
21082107Cand. I, and women turne to men, you
say true, ha ha, a
21112110Cand. Caught me
: well, well: you haue caught: me.
Geo
THE HONEST WHORE.
21132112Geo. A re
scue Prenti
ses, my mai
ster's catch-pold.
21142113Off. I charge you keepe the peace, or haue your legs gar
- 21152114tered with Yrons, we haue
from the Duke a warrant
strong
21172116Cand. I pray re
st quiet, I de
sire no re
scue.
21182117Wi. La: he de
sires no re
scue, las poore heart,
21222121Pray make
sure worke, double the cord.
21242123Wi. Looke how his head goes!
should he get but loo
se,
21252124Oh twere as much as all our liues were worth.
21262125Off. Feare not, weele make all
sure for our owne
safetie.
21272126Cand. Are you at lei
sure now? well, whats the matter
? 21282127Why do I enter into bonds thus? ha?
21292128Off. Becau
se y'are mad, put feare vpon your wife.
21302129Wi. Oh I, I went in danger of my life, euery minute.
21312130Cand. What? am I mad
say you, and I not know it?
21322131Off. That proues you mad, becau
se you know it not.
21332132Wi. Pray talke as little to him as you can,
21362135A Ci
sters thred yfaith had beene enough,
21372136To lead me any where
: Wife do you long?
21382137You are mad too, or els you do me wrong.
21392138Geo. But are you mad indeed Mai
ster?
21412140And what
she
sayes;
George, is all trueth you know:
21422141And whether now? to
Bethlem Monastery?--ha! whether?
21432142Off. Faith eene to the mad-mens pound.
21442143Cand. A Gods name,
still I feele my patience
sound.
Exe. 21452144Geo. Come weele
see whether he goes, if the mai
ster be
21462145mad, we are his
seruants, and mu
st follow his
steps, weele
21472146be mad caps too; Farewell mi
stri
sse, you
shall haue vs all in
21492148Wi. I thinke, I ha
fitted now, you and your clothes,
21502149If this moue not his patience, nothing can,
H 2 Ile
THE HONEST WHORE.
21512150Ile
sweare then I haue a
saint, and not a man
Exit.