Digital Renaissance Editions

Authors: Thomas Dekker, Thomas Middleton
Editor: Joost Daalder
Peer Reviewed

The Honest Whore, Part 1 (Quarto 1, 1604)

191511. SCE. Enter Fustigo, Crambo and Poli.
Fus. Hold vp your hands gentlemen: heres one, two, three,
(nay I warrant they are sound pistols, and without flawes, I
had them (of my sister, and I know she vses to put nothing
thats crackt,) three, foure, fiue, sixe, seuen, eight and nine, by
1920this hand bring me but a piece of his bloud. and you shall
haue 9. more. Ile lurke in a tauerne not far off, & prouide sup-
per to close vp the end of the Tragedy, the linnen drapers re-
mēber-stand toot I beseech you, & play your partes perfectly.
Cram. Looke you Signior, tis not your golde that we way.
1925Fust. Nay, nay, way it and spare not, if it lacke one graine of (corne;
Ile giue you a bushell of wheate to make it vp.
Cram. But by your fauour Signior, which of the seruants
G 3 is
THE HONEST WHORE.
is it, because wele punish iustly.
Fust. Mary tis the head man; you shall tast him by his
1930tongue a pretty tall prating felow, with a Tuscalonian beard.
Po. Tuscalonian: very good.
Fust. Cods life I was neere so thrumbd since I was a gentle-
man: my coxcombe was dry beaten as if my haire had beene
hemp. Cram. Wele dry beate some of them.
1935Fust. Nay it grew so high, that my sister cryed murder out
very manfully: I haue her consent in a manner to haue him
pepperd, els ile not doot to win more then ten cheaters do at a
rifling: breake but his pate or so, onely his mazer, because
ile haue his head in a cloath aswell as mine, hees a linnen dra-
1940per and may take enough. I could enter mine action of batte-
ry against him, but we may haps be both dead and rotten be-
fore the lawyers would end it.
Cram. No more to doe, but insconce your selfe i'th taueren;
prouide no great cheare, couple of Capons, some Phesants,
1945Plouers, an Oringeado-pie or so: but how bloudy soere the
day be, sally you not forth.
Fust. No, no, nay if I stir, some body shal stinke: ile not budge:
ile lie like a dog in a manger.
Cram. Well, well, to the tauerne, let not our supper be raw,
1950for you shall haue blood enough-your belly full.
Fust. Thats all so god sa me, I thirst after, bloud for bloud,
bump for bump, nose for nose, head for head, plaster for pla-
ster, and so farewell: what shall I call your names because ile
leaue word, if any such come to the barre.
1955Cram. My name is Corporall Crambo.
Poh. and mine, Lieutenant Poh. Exeunt.
Cram. Poli. Is as tall a man as euer opened Oyster: I would
not be the diuell to meete Poh, farewell.
Fust. Nor I by this light, if Poh be such a Poh. Exeunt.