161161Enter Fustigo in some fantastike Sea-suite at one 162162doore, a Porter meets him at another. 163163Fust. How now porter, will
she come?
164164Porter If I may tru
st a woman
sir,
she will come.
165165Fust. Theres for thy paines, godamercy, if ever I
stand in
166166neede of a wench that will come with a wet
finger, Porter, thou
167167shalt earne my mony before anie
Clarissimo in Millane; yet
so
168168god
sa mee
shees mine owne
sister body and
soule, as I am a
169169chri
stian Gentleman; farewell, ile ponder till
shee come: thou
170170ha
st bin no bawde in fetching this woman, I a
ssure thee.
171171Porter No matter if I had
sir, better men than Porters are
173173Fust. O God
sir, manie that have borne o
ffices. But Por
- 174174ter, art
sure thou went
st into a true hou
se
? 175175Porter I thinke
so, for I met with no thieves.
176176Fust. Nay but arte
sure it was my
sister
Viola.
177177Porter I am
sure by all
super
scriptions it was the partie you (ciphered.
179179Porter Nor very lowe, a midling woman.
180180Fust. Twas
she faith, twas
she, a prettie plumpe cheeke like (mine.
181181Porter At a blu
sh, a little very much like you.
182182Fust. Gods
so, I would not for a duckat
she had kickt vp hir
183183heeles, for I ha
spent an abomination this voyage, marie I
184184did it among
st sailers and gentlemen: theres a little modicum
more
The Honest Whore.
185185more porter for making thee
stay, farewell hone
st porter.
186186Porter I am in your debt
sir, God pre
serve you.
Exit. 188188Fu. Not
so neither, good porter, gods lid, yonder
she coms.
189189Si
ster
Viola, I am glad to
see you
stirring: its newes to have mee
191191Viola Yes tru
st me: I wondred who
should be
so bolde to
192192send for me, you are welcome to
Millan brother.
193193Fust. Troth
sister I heard you were married to a verie rich
194194chu
ffe, and I was very
sorie for it, that I had no better clothes,
195195and that made me
send: for you knowe wee Millaners love to
196196strut vpon Spani
sh leather. And how does all our
friends?
197197Viola Very well; you ha travelled enough now, I trowe, to
199199Fust. A pox on em; wilde oates, I ha not an oate to throw
200200at a hor
se, troth
sister I ha
sowde my oates, and reapt 200.
201201duckats if I had em, heere, mary I mu
st intreate you to lend me
202202some thirty or forty till the
ship come, by this hand ile di
scharge
203203at my day, by this hand.
204204Viola The
se are your olde oaths.
205205Fust. Why
sister, doe you thinke ile for
sweare my hand?
206206Viola Well, well, you
shall have them: put your
selfe into
207207better fa
shion, becau
se I mu
st imploy you in a
serious matter.
208208Fust. Ile
sweare like a hor
se if I like the matter.
209209Uiola You ha ca
st o
ff all your olde
swaggering humours.
210210Fust. I had not
sailde a league in that great
fish-pond (the
211211sea) but I ca
st vp my very gall.
212212Viola I am the more
sory, for I mu
st imploy a true
swagge
- 214214Fust. Nay by this yron
sister, they
shall
finde I am powlder
215215and touch-box, if they put
fire once into me.
216216Uiola Then lend me your eares.
217217Fust. Mine eares are yours deere
sister.
218218Uiola I am married to a man that haz wealth enough, and
220220Fust. A linnen Draper I was tolde
sister.
221221Viola Very true, a grave Cittizen; I want nothing that a
222222wife can wi
sh from a husband: but heeres the
spite, hee haz
not
The Honest Whore.
223223not all things belonging to a man.
224224Fust. Gods my life, hee's a verie mandrake, or el
se (God
225ble
sse
225vs) one a the
se whiblins, and thats woor
se, and then
226all the
226children that he gets lawfully of your body
sister, are
228228Vio: O you runne over me too fa
st brother, I have heard it
229229often
said, that hee who cannot be angry, is no man. I am
sure
230230my husband is a man in print, for all things el
se,
save onely in
231231this, no tempe
st can move him.
232232Fist. Slid, would he had beene at
sea with vs, hee
should ha
233233beene movde and movde agen, for Ile be
sworne la, our drun
- 234234ken
ship reelde like a Dutchman.
235235Viola No lo
sse of goods can increa
se in him a wrinckle, no
236236crabbed language make his countenance
sowre, the
stubburn
- 237237nes of no
servant
shake him, he haz no more gall in him than a
238238Dove, no more
sting than an Ant: Mu
sitian will he never bee,
239239(yet I
finde much mu
sicke in him,) but he loves no
frets, and
240is
240so
free
from anger, that many times I am ready to bite o
ff my
241241tongue, becau
se it wants that vertue which all womens tongues
242242have (to anger their husbands:) Brother, mine can by no thun
- 243243der: turne him into a
sharpenes.
244244Fust. Belike his blood
sister, is well brewd then.
245245Viola I prote
st to thee
Fustigo, I love him mo
st a
ffe
cti
- 246246onately, but I know not ---- I ha
such a tickling with
- 247247in mee ----
such a
strange longing; nay, verily I doo
249249Fustigo Then y'are with childe
sister, by all
signes and
250250tokens; nay, I am partly a Phi
sitian, and partly
something
251251el
se. I ha read
Albertus Magnus, and
Aristotles em
- 253253Viola Y'are wide ath bow hand
still brother: my longings
254254are not wanton, but wayward: I long to have my patient hus
- 255255band eate vp a whole Porcupine, to the intent, the bri
stling
256256quills may
sticke about his lippes like a
flemmi
sh mu
stacho,
257and be
257shot at me: I
shall be leaner than the new Moone, vn
- 258le
sse I
258can make him hornemad.
259259Fust: Sfoote halfe a quarter of an houre does that: make him
B Viola
The Honest Whore.
261261Viola Puh, he would count
such a cut no vnkindenes.
262262Fust. The hone
ster Cittizen he, then make him drunke and
264264Viola Fie,
fie, idle, idle, hee's no French-man, to
fret at the
265265lo
sse of a little
scalde haire. No brother, thus it
shall be, you mu
st 267267Fu. As your Mid-wife I prote
st sister, or a Barber-
surgeon.
268268Viola Repaire to the
Tortoys heere in S.
Christophers streete,
269269I will
send you mony, turne your
selfe into a brave man: in
steed
270270of the armes of your mi
stris, let your
sword and your militarie
271271scarfe hang about your necke.
272272Fust: I mu
st have a great Hor
se-mans French feather too
274274Uiola O, by any meanes, to
shew your light head, el
se your
275275hat will
sit like a coxcombe: to be briefe, you mu
st bee in all
276276points a mo
st terrible wide-mouth'd
swaggerer.
277277Fust. Nay, for
swaggering points let me alone.
278278Viola Re
sort then to our
shop, and (in my husbands pre
sence)
279279ki
sse me,
snatch rings, jewells, or any thing;
so you give it backe
281281Fust. By this hand
sister.
282282Uiola Sweare as if you came but new
from knight
- 284284Fust. Nay, Ile
sweare after 400. a yeare.
285285Uiola Swagger wor
se then a Lievetenant among
fre
sh-wa
- 286ter
286souldiers, call me your love, your yngle, your coo
sen, or
so;
288288Fust. No, no, It
shall be coo
sen, or rather cuz, thats the gulling
289289word betweene the Cittizens wives & their olde dames,
290that
290man em to the garden; to call you one a mine aunts,
sister,
291were
291as good as call you arrant whoores no, no, let me alone to
292co
sen
293293Uiola Haz heard I have a brother, but never
saw him, there
- 294294fore put on a good face.
295295Fust. The be
st in
Millan I warrant.
296296Viola Take vp wares, but pay nothing, ri
fle my bo
some, my
297297pocket, my pur
se, the boxes for mony to dice with all; but bro
- 298298ther, you mu
st give all backe agen in
secret.
Fustigo
The Honest Whore.
299299Fustigo By this welkin that heere roares? I will, or el
se
300300let me never know what a
secret is: why
sister do you thinke
301301Ile cunni-catch you, when you are my coo
sen? Gods my life,
302302then I were a
starke A
sse, if I
fret not his guts, beg me for a
304304Viola Be circum
spe
ct, and do
so then, farewell.
305305Fust. The
Tortoys sister? Ile
stay there; forty duckats.
Exit. 306306Viola Thither Ile
send: this law can none deny,
307307Women mu
st have their longings, or they die.
Exit.