Digital Renaissance Editions

Authors: Thomas Dekker, Thomas Middleton
Editor: Joost Daalder
Peer Reviewed

The Honest Whore, Part 1 (Quarto 1, 1604)

Enter a seruant setting out a Table, on which he places
a scull, a picture, a booke and a Taper.
Ser. So, this is Monday morning, and now must I to my
1705huswifry: would I had bin created a Shoomaker; for all the
gentle craft are gentlemen euery Monday by their Copy,
& scorne (then) to worke one true stitch. My M. meanes
sure to turne me into a student; for here's my booke, here
my deske, here my light; this my close chamber, and heere
1710my Punck: so that this dull drowzy first day of the weeke,
makes me halfe a Priest, halfe a Chandler, halfe a paynter,
halfe a Sexton, I & halfe a Bawd: for (all this day) my office
is to do nothing but keep the dore. To proue it, looke you,
this good-face & yonder gentleman (so soone as euer my
1715back's turnd) wil be naught together. Enter Hipolito.
Hip. Are all the windowes shut? Ser. Close sir, as the fist
of a Courtier that hath stood in three raignes.
Hip. Thou art a faythfull seruant, and obseru'st
The Calender, both of my solemne vowes,
1720And ceremonious sorrow: Get thee gone,
I charge thee on thy life, let not the sound
Of any womans voyce pierce through that dore.
Ser. If they do, my Lord, Ile pearce some of them.
What will your Lordship haue to breakfast?
1725Hip. Sighs. Ser. What to dinner? Hip. Teares.
Ser. The one of them, my Lord, will fill you too full of
wind, the other wet you too much. What to supper?
Hip. That which (now) thou canst not get me, the con-
stancy of a woman.
1730Ser. Indeed thats harder to come by then euer was
Hip. Prythee away.
Ser. Ile make away my selfe presently, which few Ser-
uants will doe for their Lords; but rather helpe to make
1735them away: Now to my dore-keeping, I hope to picke
something out of it. Exit.
Hip. My Infelices face: her brow, her eye,
The dimple on her cheeke: and such sweet skill,