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  • Title: The Honest Whore, Part 1 (Quarto 1, 1604)
  • Editor: Joost Daalder
  • ISBN: 978-1-55058-490-5

    Copyright Digital Renaissance Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Authors: Thomas Dekker, Thomas Middleton
    Editor: Joost Daalder
    Peer Reviewed

    The Honest Whore, Part 1 (Quarto 1, 1604)

    The Hone st Whore.
    spleene in an Angell, than rough humour in him: why ile give
    you in stance for it. This wonderfully temperd signior Candido
    vppon a time invited home to his house certaine Neapolitane
    lordes of curious ta ste, and no meane pallats, conjuring his wife
    455of all loves, to prepare cheere fitting for such honourable tren-
    cher-men. Shee (ju st of a womans nature, covetous to trie the
    vttermo st of vexation, and thinking at la st to gette the starte of
    his humour) willingly neglected the preparation, and became
    vnfurni sht, not onely of dainty, but of ordinary di shes. He (ac-
    460cording to the mildene s s e of his brea st) entertained the lordes,
    and with courtly discourse beguiled the time (as much as a Cit-
    tizen might doe:) to conclude, they were hungry lordes, for
    there came no meate in; their stomackes were plainely gulld,
    and their teeth deluded, and (if anger could have seizd a man)
    465there was matter enough yfaith to vex any citizen in the world,
    if hee were not too much made a foole by his wife.
    Flu. I, Ile sweare for't: sfoote, had it beene my case, I should
    ha playde mad trickes with my wife and family: fir st I woulde
    ha spitted the men, stewd the maides, and bak't the mi stre s s e,
    470and so served them in.
    Pio. Why twould ha tempred any bloud but his,
    And thou to vex him? thou to anger him
    With some poore shallow jea st?
    Ca st . Sbloud signior Pioratto, (you that disparage my con-
    475ceit) ile wage a hundred duckats vppon the head on't, that it
    mooves him, fretts him, and galles him.
    Pio. Done, tis a lay, ioyne golls on't: witnes signior Fluello.
    Ca st . Witnes: tis done:
    Come, follow mee: the house is not farre off,
    480Ile thru st him from his humour, vex his brea st,
    And winne a hundred duckats by one iea st. Exeunt.

    Enter Candidoes wife, George, and two prentices
    in the shoppe.

    Wife Come, you put vp your wares in good order heere, do
    485you not thinke you, one peece ca st this way, another that way?
    you had neede have a patient mai ster indeede.